Pets are unwell - causing my mental health to decline

[jemma09]

Hi everyone, 

I hope you’re being kind to yourself today 🌸😊 

I haven’t been here in a bit, but I’m having some struggles so wanted to pop back in. 

2/3 of my pets are unwell at present. I have a dog that is not herself due to a leg injury. She has been refusing to drink water and appears depressed.
My cat has just been diagnosed with an unknown brain disease because she’s started having seizures (it’s only been me seeing the seizures and they’re scary as heck!). At present she has a great quality of life, and so far is normal between her seizures. We also try our best to support them like keeping the house with soft zones for the cat, and giving flavoured water to help the dog.

However - it is the unknown of what will happen or how/when their conditions will progress that has impacted me.
Especially because they both appear normal most of the time… but there’s hidden diseases in the background. 
I have an anxiety disorder and OCD. Lovely combination of course! 😂
So this leads to be me becoming obsessive, constantly checking, constant intrusive thoughts and therefore it is becoming difficult to live normal life (eating enough, drinking enough, being able to sleep). I do recognise we need to provide support to our pets that are unwell, but it is very upsetting seeing them suffer with illnesses especially when they are your companions. I have family members who are nonchalant about it and say ‘it’s the new normal’ and we shall just continue on. But when you have mental health conditions, it doesn’t work that way. 
I keep thinking - I better cancel all my future travel just in case, I better start preparing for their deaths, I better not go to my classes anymore, I should quit my job to care for them. But this is extreme, I know that. But these thoughts keep coming in my mind. 

I have surveillance cameras set up in the home to monitor the pets and watch out for any issues. But I end up watching them 24/7 even when I’m home. I don’t want to leave them alone. I keep researching their illnesses. I keep thinking they will have a new health emergency or they will suddenly die any second so I’m constantly searching for new symptoms and signs. "When will the next thing happen?"
My brain jumps to extremes and my emotions and baseline feel very unstable. 

I have taken a day off of work today to rest up and try to have a normal relaxing day. I’ve booked into a GP tomorrow to get a new referral for therapy and also will try to see a psychiatrist. I’ve never wanted to take medications before but because it’s impacting my wellbeing I am considering that an option also. 

if anyone has any extra advice, that would be much appreciated. 
thank you so much for reading 💜🫂

[Daydreamer70]

Hi Jemma09, 

Thank you for writing in. I have just com across your post and Im so sorry to hear about your pets. I can understand that it is a stressful time for you at the moment and I can imagine a lot of mental space capacity would be taken up by them struggling. It sounds to me like you are very self aware about your thoughts and feelings towards the situation and youve done the right thing b booking in to a GP and getting a new referal for a therapist. They will also be able to advise you on whether medication and different options for seeing a psychiatrist.

Some advice I can give to this may be small, but it could help in the mean time whilst you're waiting to see a psych. When you have these intrusive OCD thought patterns, try different strategies to break yourself out of the thought loop. I don't struggle with OCD but I have experienced traits of it when I have been highly anxious. I do something physical to distract myself, usually movement like dancing, gym, a walk or running. If that is not possible, try simply holding an ice cube in your hand, or washing your face under really cold water. Even just jumping up and down on the spot to distract your mind from the loop it catches itself in. My experience with OCD like thoughts has been few, however when they do come I have found that I have its often as a result of me not trusting my own mind and needing to control all outcomes. Voicing these anxieties also makes me feel less alone, so again well done for seeking out professional help. 

I hope this helps a bit! You're not alone in this experience and there is so much help out there. Also with your pets, I wish them all the best too! You seem to be a wonderful carer for them and despite their health struggles I'm sure they live an amazing life. 

Kindest regards and all the best, 

Daydreamer70. 

[jemma09]

Hi Daydreamer70 🌻

I truly appreciate your reply, thank you so much. 

Absolutely!

I love this advice, I haven't thought of doing something physical as usually I go to distractions that have my body still. I do dance and aerial lessons, so I will try to go to those this week as normal. I find them very helpful - it also gives me a good amount of time to not check the cameras to break the cycle. 

Ice cube and cold water - love that. Great idea!! 

Yes, the needing to control all outcomes is a big one. I don't like the unknown and I want all the answers. So I definitely relate to that.

I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences and things that help you. And thank you for the kind words and support. 🤗

You have definitely helped, and I look forward to managing my struggles. I also signed up the 'This Way Up' to hopefully give me some useful tasks to work on as well. 

I truly appreciate your kind words about my pets and care for them. That is so wonderful. 💚

I hope you have a nice day and wishing you all the best also,

Jemma