Overwhelmed anxiety

[Guest_87249377]

I’m 8 weeks post relationship separation due to DV, two kids, 17 and 13. I’ve moved out and 13 year old staying with me until everything is sorted, 17 year finds it hard to find time for me, feel like she resents me. Moved into new rental home on weekend and have become so overwhelmed, anxious, sick, tired. I was starting to cope before the move but now all the emotions have come back, I got to work but the body is present and I’m not, struggling. Saw go yesterday, prescribed anxiety meds and to see psychologist next week. Took first tablet today but by 9:30 think I’d experienced a panic attack and had to leave. Got dizzy, list all sensation in my arms, hands went sweaty and chest tightened. Haven’t been able to sleep or relax. Feel sick every day, so made I’ve been unable to gook meals for my son or I. Feel like I’ve ruined their lives by leaving, so much mum guilt. I just want this feeling to be gone and over. No one in my family has gone through a separation so they don’t know how I feel. How do I get past this stage?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Sorry for your situation.  Medical help from a GP covers that angle we cannot assist with. As for anxiety deep breathing 4 seconds to draw air in, hold for 4 seconds the exhale for 4 seconds, do that several times each hour. 

Realistic thinking is essential. Eg guilt about being a bad mum wont help at all. This is about the abuse you received not your motherhood. You've actually done a brave thing- you moved out and now you're much safer. Look at the benefits of being away from any violence. 

As for work, take up your sick leave or annual leave but when you do or on weekends, fill up your time, it doesnt  matter how. Find a hill and sit and relax, take your 13yo and chat over a picnic.

We are here to talk, continue on with this post as long as you need. The grief period will end I can assure you.

Do you have any friends or family for support?

TonyWK

[Jeshu7773]

My wife left me 4 months ago and i relate very much to what you are saying. The breaking away from a real;relationship that ran out of love is a very hard thing to do.

It is about letting the overwhelming emotions not occupy our minds but empty out the life lived hurting you now so badly. The hardest thing is not to fuel more pain but defuse the pain you are suffering not engaging with it the pain but loving yourself away from it. Understanding you are worth much more than the pain of the loss tells you are, is the key to letting the energy of the loss not take more than has already been taken.

Applying self love, as well as seeking loving support to aid this process of restoration is essentially the best way to remove what is now still bringing you down.

The feeling sick is the body releasing the pressure the mind  so highly activated by loss and guilt of the things that have gone wrong. i use nausea medications to help settle the worst times. i found that writing poems or journal can also really help processing as well showing  potential progress when we feel we got none, and also has the potential showing us why progress has not been made as we would have like it to be.

Time will  heal even deepest wounds, especially if we support ourselves self love through those painful times.