Not doing to well at the moment

[AlexC1993]

Hi there

I am fairly new to these forums and I was wondering if anyone else feels like me sometimes. I am 27 years old and in my past I have had some quite traumatic things happen to me that affect me greatly today even though it happened years ago.

I know people say, “the past is the past and there is nothing you can do to change it” but this is easier said than done. As a person I am very shy, introverted and socially awkward. I am always anxious when I am around other people and my mind starts racing and I get negative flashbacks.

I fear that people are going to excessively criticise me which is in slang terms referred to as getting “shat on” sorry for my improper language there. I am an avid reader and lately whenever I try to read I find my mind wandering to past negative experiences and I sometimes find it hard to concentrate. I have found myself more often than not reaching for my smartphone or watching movies to occupy my mind as the visual distraction seems to help my anxiety more. This sucks because I love reading.

I also find it hard to meet new people. I don’t trust Meetup( the app) as the idea of meeting strangers makes me feel uneasy as I tend to “freeze up” in social situations and become almost mute. I am also quite depressed because I cannot meet any nice women who I could possibly have a relationship with. This gets me down and fuels my anxiety more.

I was wondering please what other people do to combat their anxiety? What techniques do you use? I find myself stressed a lot lately and I am paranoid sometimes when I go out because I think I might get into a car accident or get in trouble off The Police which I know sounds illogical if I haven’t done anything wrong but anxiety plays funny tricks on my mind. Thank you for reading this and any responses are greatly appreciated.

[Izzieste]

Hi Alex,

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I understand how you feel. I've had lifelong issues but have only recently been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety.

I worry 24/7 about everyone and everything and I overthink everything, including things from years ago.

I think different things work for different people, so I'm not sure what would work best for you, but I'd like to offer some suggestions that might be worth trying:

- deep breathing
- guided meditation apps
- if you notice you are starting to worry/remember negative experiences/get negative thoughts, ground yourself by using your senses to notice things around you e.g. can you smell anything, what can you hear, what can you see, what does the table feel like etc. This can help bring you back to the current moment
- go for a walk every day. Nothing major, just a 15 min walk around the block is already better than no walk
- listen to some music you love and focus on the lyrics or try to guess what instruments you can hear
- work on an arts and craft project
- try a new recipe
- have a cup of herbal tea
- look in the mirror and say some nice things about yourself to yourself
- try to live by a regular routine as much as possible

Anxiety sucks and I admit some of these things do not necessarily work every time. Try a few things that appeal to you and you might find something that helps you.

Also, be kind and compassionate to yourself.

I hope you feel better soon.