My struggle to live in the moment

[Worried xgen]

Hi im new here,male in my late 30s married with 2 kids mortgage etc etc and have had a lifetime of on and off worry and anxiety from as long as i can remember. I know deep down I'm overreacting to most situations and i tend to overthink and run thru these in my head before and after events. I tend not to live in the moment thru life and look back at certain times and wished i could of relaxed more and enjoyed myself at the time. I think back and really enjoy those memories more than actually living it at the time.
I was a shy quiet kid at school. Especially at high school where i went most days with anxiety of what may or may not happen. I have a social anxiety too which has eased over the years as ive gotten older but still comes out from time to time.
Lately i have been in a bit of a rut with my worries getting me down. My wife has a chronic illness which she is in alot of pain constantly and can't work. So ive been the only one bringing the income in and i feel so much pressure to be the only one doing so. I feel burdened by this, sometimes i feel trapped. One of my kids has a learning disability and her struggles get me down and i worry about her future too. There are times i struggle to Sleep with my worries always on mind which add to the anxiety and periods of depression.
Thanks for reading my post

[Gambit87]

Hi Worried xgen,

Welcome to the forums! Its sounds like you're going through alot! thank you for reaching out.

I'm an over thinker/worrier too! and it wears me out alot. With the help of my psychologist I am learning that I am allowed to overthink/worry but I have to 'cap it' - its harder to do then it sounds but it puts a limit how much much thinking/worrying I do.

I cant even begin to imagine what you are going through with your wife and daughter but you're an absolute champ for providing and being there for them. It takes alot of strength to do what you're doing. I have to ask, do you take time out for yourself? Taking some time out - even if its just an hour for yourself can help relax, recentre and refocus - you cant pour from an empty glass.

Do you have any friends/family you can talk to about how youre feeling right now? I find talking about it (even on a forum like beyondblue) can take a load off the shoulders.

We're here for you mate! you're not alone here.

[Whatsinaname]

Hi Worried xgen and welcome to the forums.

You story is scarily similar to mine. I'm mid 30s one kid and another on the way. My wife has worked in about 2 years and the stress really can be hard.

Feeling trapped is a pretty good way of putting it. Just know that your wife loves you for it.

I'm also never in the moment, literally just out my little boy to sleep while contemplating what I'd do if xyz happened. These are moments I will miss and I'm barely even there.

Sadly I have no fix for you as I'm still a work in progress myself, but what I can say if you aren't seeking help then do it. I talk about everything and nothing with my psychologist and come out feeling like a massive weight is lifted.

I wish you luck on your journey and feel free to check in whenever you feel the need.

[Petal22]

Hello, sorry to hear you are feeling this way.... I have Recovered from my OCD and anxiety... I’m one of the blessed ones... I overcame mine via talking to people, I seeked professional help starting from my GP we put a mental health plan together for myself, this then gave me 10 free appointments with a physiologist and this then led me to a clinic that specialised in ocd... which gave me many tools..... meditation, mindfulness, thought challenging .... have you thought about seeing your gp? Or just talking to people about the way you are feeling...

We can all learn to live in the moment... it takes practice... count your blessings... you are a amazing dad, you have a wife and kids who LOVE you 😀 you are alive in this beautiful world.... beauty and LOVE is all around us...you are an amazing human being... just believe this and keep moving forward 😀 give yourself positive self talk many times per day...

Have you thought about doing something for yourself.. join a club... exercise....

remember you are never alone.. 😀

[Jasjit]

Hi Worried xgen

I am really sorry to hear about your situation. To be honest, I also had severe social anxiety throughout my adolescence which became an eating disorder and further worsened into generalized anxiety.

But I think you are a very courageous and brave person who is reaching out because when I was in my teens I was so embarrassed to tell my side of the story. So what I did was I simply started doing something for myself! Like I always wanted to be in the best shape of my life, after achieving that, I cured/reversed my eating disorder, anxiety, and fear of people!

Maybe once a week, have you thought of doing something just for yourself? It could be anything.

Other than that, I am always here for a chat!