My husband does not support me while I am having anxiety

[Hopeli]

Hi there,

I was living with my husband's family for more than a year including his brother (27 years) who has intellectual disability.

He always opened my door without knocking on it, sometimes opened the bathroom door while he was taking shower naked, and always calling my name. He was trying to touch my thigh last time. Those have been making me so uncomfortable.

After moving out, I started to have panic attack and anxiety. I went to see psychologist, and I was a little better, but I am now still having post traumatic stress disorded that I always have flashback.

However, my husband seems never tried to understand my situation while I am suffering everyday. I have explained to him for so many times how I felt and what I need from him, but what he does is just protecting his family, and yelled at me saying that he has done his best.

I am considering if I still need this husband in my life, as he is making my feeling even worse.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Hopeli

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I'm really sorry to hear about your negative experiences with your brother-law. And I think it's really disappointing that your husband isn't supportive of you.

You clearly deserve support from your husband. Your needs should come first right now. Your recovery matters.

I'm wondering if your husband needs some help to understand anxiety and panic attacks. You could consider taking hubby to a session with your psychologist. Or perhaps you could encourage hubby to read up on the issues. There is plenty of information available on the bb website.

I'm also wondering if hubby might be defensive ( e.g. I've done my best) because he thinks you blame him for what happened. Do you? Do you feel that hubby didn't protect you? You don't have to answer but couples therapy could help you two work through any issues around blame and guilt.

Kind thoughts to you