Lonely

[Von is lost]

Recently I’ve been feeling really sad and lonely when I’m alone. I feel sad about how few friends I have, how that there must be something wrong with me because I can’t make more friends and can’t find a healthy, reciprocal relationship/boyfriend. I compare myself to every other girl seeing them as really fun to be around and interesting, and that I have no personality and no fun traits.

I can’t seem to stop anxious thoughts about the future that I’ll never find anyone and continue to be lonely for a long long time. Even when my housemates are out and I’m at home alone, I always find myself crying and feeling so lonely that I don’t have friends/boyfriend to see like they have.

[ana1991]

Heeey:)
My first post- and sorry for my English mistakes and grammar, English is my second language:)
I feel extremely lovely, I have good friends but they all are in different cities and countries, I love my colleagues and feel happy at work BUT when I am alone I feel lonely and anxious about being lonely whole my life...I feel like I won't find a relationship and it will be like this all my life. I am also afraid of the relationship...I am afraid to be hurt and stay heartbroken.
I look extremely happy from the outside, always trying to look after myself but this feeling of loneliness is always raising the question in my head WHY? AND WHEN? will I be in a committed relationship, find the one... it's like my mind is playing with me and I can't think about anything else. It sounds crazy, but I feel like I am obsessed with these thoughts. I just moved to Perth and have no one to go out with, I have no friends or family here and I think it makes my fears worse.
I recently found a second job so i will make my life as busy as I can and will have no time to think about it, but I might pass out one day from overworking hahaha

[FelicityJ]

hey, sorry to hear you've been feeling this way. i 100% get that feeling of loneliness, particularly when it comes to meeting new people or trying to date. i keep wondering what is so wrong with me that no one ever seems to like me, especially when friends and family reassure me that i'm a catch. obviously not, because everyone's throwing me back.

it's hard to be our best selves when we don't feel loved, and it's hard to see all the good qualities we have. i compare myself a lot to others too; i always feel different to other people which i hate because i just want to be like everyone else. but being different doesn't make you any less valuable or lovable; even if you're not as "fun" or outgoing as other girls, there's still things about you that are wonderful and other people want in their lives. i've (kind of) accepted that i'm not an adventurous extrovert, which in my mind is what everyone wants in a friend and partner. but i'm still kind and loyal, and i'm doing my best, so isn't that all we can be?

i hope you get a break from your sadness ❤️

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Felicity,

Welcome and thanks for joining the forums by offering your support.

One thing I have noticed in today's tech age is how hard it is to be noticed - I see people all around who have eyes fixed to their screens (ironically on dating sites perhaps?), not looking up to see the next potential love of their life just pass on by, not engaging in those quirky happenstance events that bring people together, and losing that physical interaction which leads to us feeling comfortable with each other and ourselves.

Analysts will look back on our folly in decades to come and just shake their heads in disbelief...

Regards,

t.

[AliasKind]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for starting and contributing to this post. This is at the heart of my depression and has been for many years; as the years passed, I got older and it became painful to be around my friends whose lives had progressed in ways that I have always wanted (house, marriage, children etc.). The pain from the long periods alone ended up being less than the pain of socialising and being around people for short periods (for a meal, event etc.) which drove me farther into isolating myself and being alone, such a viscous negative cycle.

I now have very few friends, I don't have friends to interact with on a regular or semi-consistent basis. So I cannot give or receive genuine friendship. I'm aching to give to someone special and be 'their person'. Having been through a period of significant mental illness I'm starting again I have to find and make new friends. I'm a little lost as to how I'll find people or a person that I can develop mutual care, trust, empathy and consideration with, who has similar wants too myself. People just seem to have such different ideas of what a friend is. Finding activities you love is a great suggestion EM and finding people there. Less opportunity in a regional town I would think than what one would find living in a city? Ughh

I'm doing much better mentally now, alone and all however so I have hope positive things will start to flow.

Sending heart-filled sentiments for kindred spirits x