is this anxiety?

[kasaheht]

I’m just going to jump straight into it. I don’t know what this feeling is but when I told my mum about it, she said it could be ‘severe’ anxiety or depression. I feel as though people on here would know a bit more and possibly tell me what to do next? My mum doesn’t seem to be bothered to help me, so I’ve taken it upon myself to help me.

So, here I go.

i feel as though I have a constant NEED to impress people. Like I have to put on a kind of mask every day that makes me feel validated. And sometimes I can’t help but take that mask off, and I hate myself for doing so. Little parts of a somewhat real me start to show, and it makes me bloody terrified. I can’t sleep at night just knowing that people can possibly see the lazy, selfish person I am. I wake up shaking up to 20 times a night, and I’ve started throwing up at school a lot. And at home as well, but not as much. I also have these weird episodes where I can’t breathe and my hands will just shake uncontrollably. I’ll start crying most of the time and I start screaming at myself. The 9 times that I’ve had this thing have always been while my mum isn’t home, fortunately. But I have told her about them. They also happen on a kinda monthly basis, so I’ll have one or two within each month. It’s been about 10 months since my first one which annoyingly happened at school.

Im not sure if this is anxiety, but I hate self diagnosing myself and going to doctors telling them I definitely have it, so I may as well ask a few people to be sure and to better understand it.

Please help.

sincerely, scared anime girl.

[YellowPoppy]

Hi,
I don't really have any answers, what you're describing falls under an umbrella of different things. If you go to a gp you don't need to self diagnose, just describe what you've been experiencing.
Sorry I can't be more help

[smallwolf]

Hi kasahehtm,

welcome to beyond blue.

Firstly I am just another user on the forum with a lived experience and not an expert so I cannot give you definitive answer as whether it is anxiety or not.

Now, before I went and saw my GP I did something similar to you and went to Google to find the answer based on my symptoms. Also note the symptoms that I get might be different to you or someone else.

Eventually I made my way to the K10 test on the beyond blue web site that suggested I speak with a GP. When I did that I did not have a post so I had to the tell her everything I was feeling etc. You could get a print out of your post and take it with you. Since you mentioned that you are going to school, you could also speak with one of the school counsellors?

Also, I did not not tell the GP that I had anxiety or depression. The conversation just started with me relating what had happened over the last couple of days that put me in the state I was in, and the feeling I was having. My GP asked me if there was any family history (there was/is) and then there was a small test similar to the K10 test.

From reading other stories on the forums, I am aware that some GPs might not be sympathetic to mental illnesses, but I have not had that problem myself.

Also, know that you are not alone. I am many other users here have anxiety issues as well. There are tips and tricks to help you distract yourself as well as coping mechanisms. You could lookup the threads on grounding and mindfulness on the forums here as well.

If you have any questions you want to ask, or want to chat....

Peace,

Tim

[kasaheht]

thanks tim. late reply but i had a word with my school counsellors a few days after making this and they said theres ‘nothing they can do’ but give me support. went and saw a real doctor once and told them about it and my mum hasnt taken me since because shes busy, but thanks for all the advice. i really appreciate it ❤️

[smallwolf]

Hi kasaheht,

how did you feel after talking to the consellor?

also, what were you hoping the counsellor would do?

I hope you don't mind these questions. When I started seeing my psychologist I was not on medication. It was only about 6-7 months later then things took a turn for the worse so I went back to my GP who prescribed ADs and found a psychiatrist for me as well.

Now there is also other places you might also be able to get help...

Headspace, ages 12-25, also have a free online 1:1 chat here
headspace.org.au/eheadspace/

Kids Helpline, anyone under the age of 25, have a free 1:1 chat here
kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling and a 24/7 number 1800 55 1800

Lastly, there is also an app called smiling mind that you can install onto your phone to help you with anxiety or depression related issues. Please continue to post on beyond blue as well if it helps you as well.

Tim