Hi I'm new to beyond blue,
I was in a two year relationship with someone I was very infatuated with but did not treat me well. I was obsessed with gaining this man's affection and when he was cold and mean to me I would do everything in my power to make things right.
Until one day I couldn't take it anymore and I stood up for myself and left. He begged and begged and kicked and pleaded for forgiveness. But I stayed strong.
I have now met a man who is an excellent boyfriend, very social, attentive, understanding and shows up to the relationship. We've been together 11 months and I have had anxiety about it the whole way along.
I find myself in pure joy with him and affectionate sometimes. But lately I find myself extremely irritable toward him and the thought of him spikes my anxiety. I deliberate obsessively if I'm attracted to him or if I should be with him. It's killing me and making me feel like an awful person. I have accelerated heart rate, can't sleep and on the side of a breakdown. He's very understanding and I can't thank him enough. I feel trapped inside my head.
Thoughts?
