My malignant narcissistic mother is being just horrible with the process of my parents separation/divorce.
she wanted more than 50/50. She wanted 60% out of 40. She is psychologically and emotionally abusive and takes advantage of anyone whenever she can.
she has conveniently become unavailable on her phone with both my dad and I, the lawyers, the real estate agents and the bank. She isn’t answering her phone and she is refusing to communicate. She hasn’t even checked in with her lawyers for weeks and weeks. I have to pay part of the mortgage to help my dad out with my student payment because I get paid to study full time from the government (I do intend to work when I can get my diploma)
We get food help too from the local church so we have food in the pantry too. We buy groceries but we have had to cut down now because we are saving money for a bond so when we move we can rent for a little while, so we can get back on our feet. I’m eighteen and my life has always been like this. My mother was a slow learner, emotionally unavailable person who couldn’t hold a proper conversation. So my father never could speak to her about household/real life issues. Instead growing up from the age of four and onwards I have always supplied advice to help and tried to lend a hand wherever I can.
it’s exhausting. I suffer from BDD, I take antidepressants for my severe anxiety, I am a homebody now and I only leave for walking, shopping, University or my volunteer work. Otherwise I refuse to leave home because I am always so emotionally and physically exhausted.
my mother is uncaring and shows no empathy. She is only ever caring when it is convenient for her or if she wants something from me. I’m ugly, I feel hopeless and I feel so out of place with this world.
Really struggling.
thanks for reading,
PF.
