I have a problem with lieing to the ones closes to me about the most smallest of things I'm hurting

[Guest_60524517]

I keep lieing about the most dumbest things and I'm at point now we're the one person I've hurt alot with my lies doesn't trust me anymore what do I do 😭😭

[Fiatlux]

Hi Guest,

My youngest sister did this almost her entire life. I think she was just masking her insecurities and would tell different versions of events to different people and at times would just make stuff up just for the sake of a story or conversation.

My sister also exaggerated simple events. One time I mentioned to my sister that a water pipe burst in my downstairs powder room and I had a minor flood. Luckily I had hard floors so the damage wasn’t to bad. A month later my niece would call me and ask me about the flood, as my sister had told her that my upstairs bathroom water pipe burst, flooding my entire house, upstairs and downstairs and caused major flood damage. It’s stories like that, that we realised that my sister had a major problem with telling the truth.

What sort of thing do you lie about?

My sister also borrowed money from family members telling them that she is owed money by someone else and would pay the money back soon. Again I was told by a common acquaintance that I apparently owed my sister a lot of money and that I should pay it back. In fact I also lent money to my sister and I never got the money back. She died owing people and a lot of people a lot of money. 

I am glad that you have the courage to come here and talk to others about it and ask for help.

Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Mark Z.]

Hi Guest,

I agree that rebuilding trust after it has been damaged by lying is challenging, but it's possible with consistent effort and sincerity, so don't lose your hope or stop your efforts.

If you still haven't started to do things to rebuild trust, a good start can be from fully acknowledging that your lying has hurt the other person and damaged the trust between you. Admitting this openly to the one you've hurt is crucial. Try to create an opportunity to have this kind of dialog with him/her, and offer a sincere apology. Be specific about what you're sorry for, and express your understanding of how your actions have impacted them. Make a clear and specific commitment to change your behavior. 

Moving forward, try to be as open and transparent as possible. This doesn’t mean oversharing every detail of your life, but rather being honest in your interactions. This helps rebuild trust by showing you have nothing to hide.

For longer future, trust is rebuilt through consistent and reliable behavior over time. Make a conscious effort to be truthful in all your dealings, not just with the person you've hurt but with everyone around you. This will be very beneficial for you to build up your personal reputation.

Hope it helps a bit.

Warmly,

Mark