I feel like a failure

[_Gigi_]

Hi all. I've been feeling pretty lonely lately so I thought I would turn here for some advice. I'm worried almost all the time to the point of physical illness. Even leaving the house can be enough to set me on edge. Social situations make me especially nervous, and I tend to replay them in my head for days afterwards. The constant fear means it takes me longer than my peers to hit certain milestones, and it makes me afraid that everyone is judging me for it.

There have also been a few issues at home, and my family has praised me for being so calm and collected through it, when in reality I'm far from it. There's just a lot of pressure to live up to their expectations and not add more to their plate. There's no one to talk to about it and it makes me feel like an imposter. I lie every single day and no one really knows me. I feel like a failure. And I worry about the day everyone else realises I am one as well.

[Monkey444]

Sorry to hear about your anxiety. I really relate to the feeling of being a failure, as personally the last few years I haven’t done very much at all.

something that helps I suppose is to remind myself however that only I’m responsible for my scenario and if anyone is judgemental, that is their decision, it’s ’none Of my business’ to take on a very brief, likely uninformed judgement from someone.
When you are going through difficult times always be kind to yourself and compassionate.

i really feel for what you are saying about feeling isolated with nobody to talk to, are there any types of low-key community activities, absolutely anything sewing, spiritual, sports, “meetups” that you could go to with people who are basically down to earth? I think going somewhere where others also aim to socialise could be comforting. A lot of people need some extra connection in their lives too I have realised that in some of the groups I attend that some people are in a similar boat regarding feeling lonely.

I hope your anxiety reduces soon.

[_Gigi_]

Hi, thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my post; it really means a lot to me. I'll try to take your advice and look for some community activities. I like the idea of spending time with people whilst also being able to pursue some sort of hobby. I will definitely also be trying out your tips for responding to judgement from others.

You said you can relate to how I feel, so I hope things look up for you as well! And once again, I really appreciate your help with this.

[Monkey444]

You’re sooo welcome. Also I totally agree, hobbies are awesome even and it’s good to have distractions. Things are going fairly well for me. Thank you :). Take care :).