I fee so alone

[Booklover17]

Hi everyone,

I have posted on here before and I have always appreciated the support you give me. I have anxiety and at the moment I feel really alone, like no-one understands how I feel. I am also under a lot of stress at the moment so this doesn’t help.

Is anyone feeling like this right now?

[White_Rose]

Hello Booklover

It's good to hear from again even though you feel down. It's pleasing to know you have found comfort in the past and therefore you know where to come for some TLC.

Anxiety never sounds much to those who have not experienced anything other than a mild concern. It is of course quite debilitating at times and always a disappointment when the wretched thing comes back for a while. Please try to remember your anxiety has been greatly reduced in the past and will do so again. I understand this is a hard memory to hold on to while you feel engulfed by your anxiety. Think that you were happier before rather than trying to remember how it felt.

I gather your increased anxiety is probably due, at least in part, to the stress in your life. Always difficult to manage as you often have no control over the reasons for the stress which can add to your discomfort.

May I ask, and please excuse me if you said this in your earlier thread, what supports you have. I wonder if you have ever sat down with someone, partner, parents, siblings, friends, and told them how it feels to have this anxiety. I suggest you look at the information available on BB about anxiety. Start at the home page and click on Anxiety in the circle then go from there. You can download these fact sheets and could then give a copy to those you are closer to.

I know it can be difficult to explain how you feel. My difficulty is my depression which also makes me anxious at times and explaining makes it appear to be my fault for allowing myself to be affected. It's not of course, it's because others have simply not been in that place and not known the turmoil it can cause.Is there any way you can reduce the stress? Sounds silly to say that I know because you no doubt have thought about it. I wonder if you have coping mechanisms such as meditation which not only helps while you are meditating but will also flow into your daily life. While we concentrate on stress trying to get rid of it, it only seems to get worse.

I was told by two GP was to sit down for half an hour, preferably with an alarm, and allow yourself to think about the problems. Only stay for half an hour then get up and do something active like a walk or working in the garden, ironing. Any of this type of activity to move you away from the thoughts. Giving them house room for a defined period of time only can help to reduce the stress. When the thoughts start up again tell them you will see them later.

Mary

[Booklover17]

Hi Mary,

Thank you so much for your reply. It really meant a lot to me. To answer your question, I have people I do speak to- my mum, fianceé and 2 good friends, though it’s more about how I am feeling or what I am feeling at that particular time. Not how the anxiety makes me feel. Though I don’t know how I can make people understand if they haven’t lived through it.

It’s not silly to ask can I reduce the stress. I can’t at the moment unfortunately. I am about to get married and it has caused a lot of stress to put it mildly.

I like the idea of giving a set time limit to my thoughts, thank you.

Thank you so much for your post. It helps so much to write to someone who understands.

[White_Rose]

Hello Booklover

Congratulations on your imminent marriage. I hope the day will be full of joy for you and your partner.

I can see why you are stressed. I have never come across a bride-to-be who has no stress about the forthcoming wedding. I think you are in good company.

On the BB home page there are three circles. Click on the Anxiety circle. This will take you to the anxiety section. Have you seen the anxiety clip on TV? It's so true the way it is portrayed. There are stories from various people. There are links to a couple of threads about anxiety though you may have already looked at them. Lots of information about anxiety. Look under The Facts above and click on Publications to download or order and browse from there.

Downloads are free, so help yourself. Booklets need to be ordered but are also free. I think it helps when we are as informed as possible about our health issues. Listening to the stories or reading the transcripts may help you to describe your anxiety to others. It is a hard thing to do.

If/when you decide to talk to your fiancée or others ask them to simply listen. Say you only want to tell them what happens so they can support you. They can ask questions to clarify but not allowed to say "Pull yourself together" etc. It's so hurtful and maybe you can tell them why. Point them to the information sheets to indicate this is not just you. Many people have an anxiety disorder and BB is a respected organisation.

The next part is explaining how they can help.It doesn't matter if they do not fully understand you so long as they take your words on trust. You are not attention seeking, drama queen or any of the labels attributed to those with anxiety or depression. Think about what you would like others to do to help you. Sitting and listening, making a cuppa, going to the doctor with you, anything you will find helpful.

The best part of all this is the knowledge your health matters are validated and you are not battling anxiety and people's opinions at the same time.

I hope that helps.

Mary