i dont know if i have anxiety or what i just feel trapped

[Sadlad]

ive never wrote anything like this before but im gonna do my best, i used to be so happy almost all the time i remember that i used to talk to everyone, but i never had many friends. im the type of person that takes stuff very seriously so every time someone said to me i was weird or annoying i took that to heart and over the time i just became less and less of the person i was i used to be very spontaneous and say stuff without thinking all the time and be super silly but now im just shut down, sad all the time like i cant speak or say a thing without having to think about but even then i still cant get the words out and if i do manage to its embarrassing and then i sit there awkwardly for no reason. for some reason i just cant stop thinking about everthing besides the conversation, i just want to be like everyone else and just sit there and have a conversation that just flows out your mouth instead every second of it im just waiting for it to end. im only 17 so not being able to talk is really taking effect on my life, i now have no friends really and i just sit at home everyday dreading going outside even thought i really want to go out and make my life better.

im sorry if this was abit confusing but could anyone please give me some information on whats wrong with me because i really hate my life and i would love some help

[white knight]

Hi sadlad, welcome, I'm glad you posted.

I read up in a book on ADHD once that had a segment about what we call "foot in mouth". Saying something before you even think about it. I had that problem also. Is there a remedy? Well for me it was maturity. I was always emotionally immature for my age except for the last 10 years (I'm 60yo) so I played catch up naturally. And therapy helped because it made me realise that I indeed had a common problem. for me though it proved to be mania where the mind races but it doesn't matter, foot in mouth can come from a variety of sources for different individuals. you might have social interaction issues that form from anxiety. Certainly as I'm not a professional you could start by talking to your GP. Tell him/her everything and go from there.

Being so young you will undertake a steep learning curve with interacting with others. It might seem others don't have an issue but we members know here that it isn't the case. Many people hide their anxiety and other issues very well but behind closed doors they suffer like the rest of us.

I had a tip for you. When ever you are talking to others refrain from talking about yourself. Ask the other person questions. Most people like talking about themselves, if you show lots of interest in what they do, their hobbies, their sport, the team they follow or simply asking how they put makeup on is showing interest. If they ask you questions then answer then put it straight back on them again. Some people gauge a person as a friend simply because you take an interest in them.

Allow yourself to develop your own personality. Be yourself and don't be ashamed of being different. There is no worse feeling than realizing you are just like everyone else...a sheep.

If there is a medical condition you have remember many famous people had them. Einstein, Van Gogh, Beethoven, Churchill etc. Google "Famous people with mental illness"

And even me, but I', not famous....yet!

Tony WK

[kanga_brumby]

Sad lad you're still young. When I was your age the amount of times I would put my foot in my mouth. I now have a size 26 gumboot for a mouth. When you mix with others, just slow down a bit. As I did learn to listen. As my father told me "we were given two ears, and one mouth for a reason. Listen more than you talk." Try listening, joining in periodically and try to keep it simple, meaningful, and on topic. Believe you, me that is the really hard bit. I am still learning it. I am now over 60. Hop this is useful.

Kanga

[plodalong]

hi sadlad, I think the others have made some good suggestions. Maybe start with your GP. Sometimes you need to try another GP even, one that you "click" with a bit. Be kind to yourself. When I was your age, I was so shy and literally found it quite difficult to speak. Speak slowly. Think. Take your time. Set small goals for yourself. Do you do any work or study? Maybe you would volunteer a bit somewhere to "make your life better" as you say. Is there an area that interest you. Be really kind to yourself. Good luck 🙂

[BballJ]

Hi Sadlad,

Firstly, welcome to the forums and well done for reaching out, takes a lot of courage to do that so be proud of that first step.

As everyone has said, you are young and we all say things that are silly but that's what being young and growing up is, you learn from your mistakes. I'd firstly as plodalong said, talk to a GP, they are the best resourch in these instances and they can refer you on to speak to someone about your feelings, this isn't a sign of weakness either, this is a sign of strength, it is you fighting against these sad feelings. My question also is, have you spoken to anyone your feelings, perhaps your parents, grandparents, sibling etc? getting family members on your side and understanding can help a lot and they can go with you to the GP.

I didn't have many friends through my teenage years either, I made a lot of mine during my 20's so making friends doesn't always come from school... I also met a lot playing footy as we had a common interest. Is there any hobbies you enjoy doing that you could make some new friends?

My best for you,

Jay