I don't know what's wrong with me. I need help please.

[CareLee]

Hello,

My name is Caroline and I'm new to this site. The reason I made this thread is because I really want to know what's wrong with me and how to fix it. Okay, first of all I'm a very quiet person in front family members and people I don't know. I feel so uncomfortable whenever I'm around people. I can only be myself around my parents and siblings, but whenever I'm around family members or strangers I'm so weird. I mostly stay on my own corner and I tend to space out a lot just so people won't interact with me. I have no friends and I'm twenty one years old trying to look for a job but it's so hard because whenever someone rings me I feel so scared to pick up and talk. I don't know if I'm afraid of my own voice or myself. I can't even leave my home sometimes. The only places I go to is the grocery store or the mall. I live with my parents and I'm their oldest child.

Throughout my days at school, I have never really made any true friends and is never invited to events or hangouts. I believe I'm a loner and I'm so depressed. I moved to a new country last year and nothing good has happened to me yet because all I do is stay home and apply for jobs. I know that I'm wasting my life that is why I'm reaching out to someone who may know what's wrong with me. Also whenever I'm around a boy that is 15 and up, I tend to always have an angry look on my face, but whenever I smile I get angry.

Most days I feel like I don't be long in this world. My parents and siblings have always shown me love and they all know about my depression but I feel like they are babying me, and I hate it yet I can't confront them. Help me please.

[Tasa83]

Hi CareLee,

I can relate to your post. i have had social anxiety and agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house) I have never had any solid friends and find small talk very difficult.

I hate the telephone and refuse to answer. I am always anxious because I don’t know what the other person is going to say.

I am not a doctor but from my experience you may have social anxiety or aspergers. Both could benefit from CBT. I have had this and it really opened me up. Your GP should be able to help you find someone good.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

[geoff]

hello Caroline, I'm pleased you have posted your comment and can I let you know that you're not the only person on this site who has the same problem.
There is an online anxiety test which you can google but social anxiety is very common and I realise that you live in a family but is it possible to have an answering machine to pick up any incoming phone calls, although I do appreciate that your parents may not like the idea, but talk to them about getting one, it would be good when they are not home.
You were only angry at talking to boys simply because you were afraid of them asking you out, so now there are a few suggestions who you can contact, ring Reachout and/or Headspace, these people are trained but only youngish and only dress up in casual clothes.
The other option is that you contact your doctor and get them to refer you to a psychologist, but ask about the mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 free visits.
If you stay at home then you are not going to get better, so please contact these suggestions, and please if you could get back to us that would be great. Geoff.