Hubby is depressed, angry, miserable, erratic behaviour, no patience. He is on meds (changed meds as first one wasn’t effective). I am anxious for various past reasons but now even more so having to deal with hubby’s behaviour. I feel I can’t take much more as I am constantly feeling anxious especially as I don’t know what mood he will be in next. Hubby has had enough of work, his boss complains a lot either -not enough work, too much work, & more, & hubby takes it to heart & personal. He used to love his job up until a few weeks ago. Our family & friends know of hubby’s depression so they are supportive of him when they are around. I hate to sound selfish, but other than one friend of mine, no one cares about how I feel. They are quick to give me advice on how to be -such as “he needs to do something he loves”, one saying to me, “don’t sweat the small stuff, you’re always on to him”, which made me feel as though it’s my fault he is depressed. They have no idea what living with him is like. I cry a lot, I’m anxious a lot, I try & be happy & positive however that changes when something doesn’t go hubby’s way & he gets angry & loses his temper, even for small stuff, He is not violent towards us, but he swears a lot & throws or slams things when he is angry, which causes stress on & tension (we have an adult son & teenage daughter at home). It effects me deeply & I think of splitting from him. I do love him & care about him & I don’t particularly want to break up, but our relationship is on his terms & I’m not happy. There‘s little affection, we‘ve talked about it & he says he will try harder & it will get better, & we’ll be alright. I‘be got to the point I don’t want to touch him as I‘ve been rejected so many times, I resent him, I’m too scared to talk to him as he doesn’t like what he hears & gets angry & says I don’t understand. It seems like it’s always about him & his depression. We have gone to couples therapy & he has seen the same psychologist prior for his depression (on my advice) but every time we‘re there she reverts back to his childhood & how it has effected him etc. & quite frankly I’m over hearing it. I‘ve had many days off work due to my anxiety, I don’t know what to do. I can’t live on edge, as that is what its like when he’s around. We just can’t tell what mood he’ll be in next. It’s not healthy to feel like you have butterflies squirming around in your chest most of the time. I don’t know how much more I can take of feeling like this.
