How to cure this type of OCD?

[chris0626]

Hi, I am a 21 years old male who has been straight all my life, I always enjoy staright porn and I have a boobs obession. I have always have crushes on girls even though I never have sex before. Around two week ago, I suddenly start question whether I am gay or straight, It makes me feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable throughout the day. I would always look at other men and women to check if I am sexually attracted.

I often get these random gay thoughts which scare me and digust me a lot. It makes me so stressed that I couldn't enjoy my straight porn as I was before. This gives me a feeling that I might turn gay.

There were few days that I feel normal again and I start watching my porn collection. But after few days, It hits me again. How do I make it gone forever? Or am I really becoming gay.

I have experience a OCD earlier this year when I thought I got a cancer or decease and I went to the doctor to check many times. And I experiecne social anxiety a lot.

[Croix]

Dear Chris0626~

Welcome here to the forum, it must have been quite hard to set out your feelings like that to a bunch of people you don't know. I think it will be worth it though as you will get other's views and experiences.

Basically there are two things I'd like to say. The first is people do explore their sexuality, not all are born with a complete conviction of how they are, so it can be quite normal to have thoughts about the same sex mixed in with thoughts of others. Not a big deal in itself and stray thoughts rarely mean anything.

Please bear in mind porn, of any sort, is not the same as real people, in fact it is very different and not that good a basis to judge anything from. You enjoy it, OK, but you will find a real person more.

The second thing is you have mentioned that in the past you have had an anxiety condition, these can include things called unwanted thoughts. They are thoughts that tend to spring up for no reason, and do not reflect the nature of the person involved, they just appear. They can be very upsetting and worrying as they are so different from how the person normally thinks.

Can I suggest you go see your GP and in an extended consultation explain about your current set of worries. By the sound of it you previos concerns over cancer have now been put to rest. Hopefully if these are a symptom of anxiety they can be put to rest too.

Do you think that is worth a try? My anxiety condition has different symptoms to you, but treatment has been the answer for me.

Croix

[geoff]

Hi Chris, and welcome to the forums.

I understand exactly what you have said and if you have OCD then you suffer from anxiety and I say this because I also have it.

We go through life admiring both women and men finding the same sex as being handsome or the opposite as being beautiful, that's not OCD, because we all do this, but when you question whether your sexuality is not what you think it is, then these thoughts can intrude on your mind and you try to block them out and wonder why you are having these unusual thoughts.

If they are always persistent and trouble you, then they could be 'intrusive thoughts', especially if you only want the opposite gender, so it becomes an obsession.

A repetitive thought that causes you to suffer and prevents you from being present on how you actually feel is disturbing and upsets your daily routine.

A psychologist can help you understand and go through the process to know how you are feeling.

If you ask your doctor about the 'mental health plan', this will entitle you to 10 Medicare paid sessions per year.

If you are able to type 'intrusive thoughts' in your search bar, then many different comments will appear so you can read.

I hope to hear back from you, as I've had this for a long time.

Best wishes.

Geoff.