Help with OCD

Rupes79 · ‎08-11-2021

Hi Everyone

I’ve been working with a psychologist to overcome an OCD issue and it’s been pretty heavy work.

Recently we’ve got to a point where I’ve been able to break the cycle and to a large extent stop the behaviour but oddly I’ve never felt worse. My anxiety is heightened and at time my mood is very low to the point I feel like crying.

She has my writing a daily journal about how I feel but the last couple of days I’ve felt so bad I haven’t even been able to write about. It’s too depressing to express.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, what advice can you offer?

Petal22 · ‎08-11-2021

Hi Rupes79,

Congratulations on working towards breaking your OCD cycle.

I understand, I had severe anxiety OCD, I have now recovered from this condition thanks to the help of health professionals.

Learning to break free of the OCD cycle is very hard work! It takes a lot of internal work but if you can do this work the outcome can be amazing.

When I was going through my OCD therapy I had to confront a lot of things internally, when I challenged certain thoughts I found this challenging aswell because when we do internal work we have to look deep within ourselves.

I would come home with homework and I found it confronting at times and I’d find myself crying with the flood of emotions.

At the end of it all I found that I really grew as a person and the work I had to do in therapy and after therapy was well worth it.

I learned to change perspectives on things and had many gains and life skills.

When I was working on intervention on my OCD cycle my anxiety would be heightened but I learned to just sit with it and not question it and let it fade away… yes it was hard to do

When I’d have the intrusive thoughts I’d allow this thought and anxiety and then let it fade.

I wouldn’t question anything…. Yes at the beginning it was hard because I wasn’t doing compulsions to bring the anxiety down but the work I did to break the cycle was well worth it.

Im sorry your mood is low … I experienced this aswell when I was going through OCD and when I was in therapy it was hard work!! I think my low mood came from confronting so many things… I learned a lot about myself.

I learned with OCD and going into recovery that some days will be better than others because OCD recovery moves on a sliding scale.. eventually the good days will outweigh the bad ones.

Im now free of OCD and there is hope that you can be aswell just keep persevering and putting in the hard work… you will get there!

If you are concerned about your low mood please discuss it with your psychologist.

Please ask me any thing

geoff · ‎09-11-2021

Hello Rupes, it is truly an awful illness to have, because those who don't have it, find it difficult to comprehend why we are forced to perform these habits.

Some people may be able to overcome OCD with help, all of this depends on the degree to which they have it and I've been able to stop doing one, simply because I happen to have moved house, but what I've found is that when I have been able not to do a particular habit, I seem to replace it with another one, then my anxiety has been softened.

This illness is caused by anxiety, as my doctor says, and sometimes we become agitated when we aren't able to perform this habit, uncomfortable and it keeps playing around in our mind and replacing it with another one.

It may be easy to stop OCD while you are in a session with the psychologist, but there are trigger points that keep us doing them when we leave and that's difficult to control and replace it with another one.

I have met with people who have this illness who hide it just as I do, and if you are able to break the cycle with your psychologist, but feel much worse when you leave, then as I'm not a doctor to say, I can suggest this may or may not have been broken.

Geoff.

Amanda2000 · ‎09-11-2021

Hi Rupes,

I'm with you totally. I have contamination OCD. For me, it's an ongoing management process. On a good day, I can accept the fact that the repetition will never give me the assurance I need to ease my anxiety, and then I literally "walk away" from the situation and go do something else. On a not-so-good "cheat day", I'll allow myself to repeat my handwashing thoroughly just one more time but no more after that.

You are certainly not alone!

Guest_206 · ‎09-11-2021

Hi Rupes79,

Well done on doing the really tough work with your psychologist. You should be really proud of yourself! It actually makes sense to me that you'd be feeling much worse now, maybe because you've taken away your coping mechanism and something that you've been so used to do doing, something so familiar? So this is new territory for you now.

I've got an eating disorder history and it reminds me of how we say that it feels worse before it feels better. Maybe it's the same with OCD? But maybe it would have been nice for you to be warned that you won't necessarily immediately start feeling better when your behaviours change.

I'm not sure if what I'm saying resonates or not, just putting out thoughts.

It's great that you've been writing in your journal and you can bring this up with your psychologist.

Again, well done to you. I know it must be really hard. But you're on the right track.

Xg

HappyHelper88 · ‎09-11-2021

Hello Rupes79 Thankyou for your post and welcome,

I wanted to jump on and share my experience
I know it is pretty heavy work so good on you for working on it!

I think this could be from changing your focus and attention away from one thing and another thing has come up
In my experience with my OCD I found it became more prominent and heightened when I am stressed.
However it takes some time to feel better, as mentioned before you do feel worse before u feel better

I hope you will get some improvement soon and congratulations on Breaking the habit!

Also keep on seeing your Psych as your journey is not over yet and I hope you can get some help with your anxiety too

I hope this helps

Baljit · ‎09-11-2021

Hi Rupes79,

Firstly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and sorry that you are feeling low with your OCD anxiety.

As for my own experiences of how I dealt and still continue to deal with my anxiety is I realised that this is my own personalised journey and there is no given time span for recovery. It’s a individual thing and you just have to work at your own pace.

I was also told at the start of my counselling that I will have some bad days which I did and that it was OK.

I am confident that overtime with your medication and counselling you will definitely start to have more good than bad days.

Another thing I did with the support of my counsellor was I implemented a plan in regards to what and how I would deal with my anxiety head on so that it become a compassionate companion, instead of a dreaded enemy.

I achieved this by focusing on and calling out my self-appreciation and asking myself the following question at the end of each day:

What good did I do today?…and on some occasions it was as simple as making a cup of tea, for my wife.

Finally, just remain focused and stay on your own personal recovery plan and achieve it at your own pace and remember it’s OK to have some bad days.

I hope this will help.

Rupes79 · ‎10-11-2021

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for taking the time to respond. It is appreciated.

I had another session with my psychologist today. I told her how low I have been over the last week. I think she was a little surprised.

She tells me I need to get a hobby. Something to take my mind off things. The trouble is I don’t really have the energy or motivation to start something like that. I’ve never really been a hobby person. Right now starting a hobby is the last thing I feel like doing.

I don’t really understand a lot of the advice people give about depression. It’s like they are asking you to make yourself feel worse to get better when you already feel so awful to begin with.

Maybe I am missing something?

thanks again

Petal22 · ‎11-11-2021

Hi Rupes79,

OK, when you are trying to break the OCD cycle it can be exhausting….

Can I ask you in which way are you trying to intervene into the OCD cycle.

I understand when we are trying to break the OCD cycle it’s a lot of work with in our selves…. I can totally understand the down days…

I use to try to keep busy while I was going through OCD so I had less chance of sitting down and putting my attention on my thoughts….. I practiced staying in the present moment with the task on hand.

If your low mood is affecting you maybe speak to your gp about the way you are feeling..

Is your psychologist a clinical psychologist or a psychologist?

Hang in there

Rupes79 · ‎11-11-2021

Hi Petal

Thanks for your response. She is a clinical psychologist. I think she’s very good at her job which makes me think I am missing a link somewhere.

I feel like the bulk of the work to break the OCD cycle has been done. It’s not a case of me wanting to go back, it’s more a case of just feeling awful after that link has been broken.

I have a good GP who knows my history but she’s very pro medication and I know if I go and see her she’ll want to put me back on antidepressants which I don’t want to do. I haven’t found one over the years that has made any noticeable improvement and they all have horrible side effects.