Help with a few problems.

[R_one]

Hey guys,
Since the start of the year, my mind seems to of changed and things just don't seem right anymore. Let me explain:
I was waking up during the night a few weeks ago, maybe it happened 2-3 times, i felt like i was trapped and i woke up and i was panicking and to me i was stuck and couldn't get out, then, i'd come to my senses and realize i'm in my room. After this i started thinking about dying, and then it escalated from there and i was having constant thoughts that one day i will be dead and it'll be darkness and nothing will exist anymore, i wont be myself anymore etc etc.
Obviously, these thoughts are honestly just silly, everyone dies, you can't do anything about it. But, i was staying awake at night and panicking terribly. Eventually a few weeks ago i was getting headaches and for some reason i lost it and had to go to the hospital, i did MRI scans and all, obviously everything was fine. That made me feel a little better but i still cant shake the thoughts of dying out of my head, everytime i watch a movie or something on tv, ill google an actor in the movie and see how old he is and think 'whoa he might die soon' and things like that.
The worse part is that i know exactly how stupid this sounds.
I'm only 27 years old and i keep thinking i don't have long left. I'm currently paying off my house with my fiance, i get married in 2 months, have a full time job, go to the gym, play football. But for some reason i feel like i cant do anything, as in, i can't do the things i enjoy, i dont know why. Sitting at home only makes things worse, but i cant seem to get myself up to do anything.
I also seem to read things about people who get cancer at young ages and i keep panicking that if it can happen to them, it can happen to me and i seriously worry about this.
I quit smoking probably about 2 years ago which is obviously a good thing, i've also stopped drinking coffee because for some reason that makes me feel worse and panicky. I think one of the next things i need to do is get my diet in order, i've probably put on a good 6 kilos in the last year and seem to always turn to junk food to make myself feel better.
I'm actually not sure on why im posting here or what i think im going to solve from it, but i guess i feel better talking about it? I dont know.

[Ace_Anytime]

I'm 27 and I'll say you're in a much better position than me. I have no job beyond a business I'm trying to manage and the DJ thing I'm trying to get off the ground. No girlfriend, and I've been living with my parents for a few weeks. Count your blessings in that department man. You've got a lot.
As for your problem, from what I gather, after that one traumatic event you couldn't control you likely have a fear of worse, including death because of that one isolated incident that will likely never happen again. It's all a knock on effect of the issue because getting into such a state from nowhere and so uncontrollably can make anyone go crazy. I've went through heaps in the past while and googled everything under the sun, from thinking I have cancer to god knows what. Obviously google is your enemy in this situation if you don't know the right things to look for but it seems you have gained somewhat of an anxiety issue from it all. I'd suggest you get on a care plan, realistically these are just thoughts and what would work best is how you manage them. Look into ACT Therapy and just learn to be mindful of your thoughts as if they're just cars driving past and not having any effect on you. I get the same worries from time to time and have so many random symptoms all over. That's a part of anxiety although it can be worse because anxiety is a part of disease.
You're likely catastrophising as well and seeing the worst and not the reality. I'd suggest staying away from news or negative things and stimuli. Realize the reality is Cancer is so many things and can be cured alot of the time. It can be hard to think about in the right manner but the best way is to not worry about things in the moment and manage your time effectively so you make time for worry or time to talk about your issues so they don't constantly plague you. So yeah get a care plan and start talking to someone about it. It will really help immensely and they will point you in the right direction.

[aceleon]

Hi R_one,

A few weeks ago, I went through a major change in my state of mind - after reading your post, I feel like i can relate. My mind is constantly under the impression that death is around the corner and as a result, i end up fantasizing about death with a lot of my daily tasks. Especially that point in death where my ego disappears and what is left is nothing - i can not exist without my mind (true or untrue, that is what i feel). It scares me soo much. I'm turning 27. What you write does not sound stupid at all. It may have to your previous self but i feel like this is one of those things you don't understand until you go through it yourself. 

I'm still learning to cope, it affects everything i use to enjoy and makes life feel meaningless. I constantly have the urgency to do tasks or things in life because i feel like my time is running out, and running out quick. Maybe something good can come that in terms of productivity. I can only offer so much advice since I too am still learning but being able to talk to people about it helps me a lot. There is a huge amount of support out there and being able to talking about it is a way to release.

Stay strong.

[Janksie]

Hi everyone,

i just want want to say that what you all are feeling is not silly at all and that it is good that you are letting out your feelings on beyond blue. 

I had always been scared of death because I had seen death of my loved ones since young age, The only thing that helped me was reading certain books such as spiritual books to understand it all. 

Dearh is very scary it all I would want to add is that spend all the best of your life as much as you can and try to to worry about the future. 

All ll the best. I hope I was able to help.