First post on site battling aniexty

[Jesse00]

Gday Guys

Just recently joined this great site and been reading a lot of peoples stories and it is a good feeling to know i am not the only person that is going though these dark times even tho sometimes you feel alone.

I haven't came across anyone with my exact story so i thought id share. I am a male in my mid 20's and recently quit my job as everyday was a complete struggle and felt everyone that i met would judge me on my appearance. Majority of my life ive had dark circles and people would always comment things like " oh have u got a shiner" , growing up it never bothered me and i'd shrug it off and continue on in life but withing the past year every comment would set off my anxiety 

As a kid i have always had anxiety i would do anything in my power to avoid large crowds. I have quite a large friend base but even around my mates i feel so uncomfortable even tho they are great people, i just feel they will judge me on my appearance.

Within the past year my anxiety has snowballed out of control. I had a great job that i enjoyed but i just couldn't continue as i would have panic attacks daily while working and it was taking it toll. I would come from and just stress about what the next day would bring and get so worked up. I have a partner and she is great and so understanding but worry she'll get feed up with me because i have started excluding myself from the outside world.

I am have surgery on my eyes and really hope it fixes the appearance and i can get a hold of this anxiety. I just fear that the surgery wont work and then i just wont know what to do. I play a lot of video games because gaming is about the only thing in life that can take my mind away from my real life troubles for a few hours.

Thanks for reading  

[Suzbj]

Hi Jesse,

I have read your post but I have to go and can't answer right now. I will answer you tomorrow. In the meantime, take care of yourself. 

Cheers

Suz 🙂

[Suzbj]

Sorry if this posts twice??? I should have been patient instead of hitting the reply button again!! 🙂

[Suzbj]

Hi Jesse, I am sorry to hear your anxiety has been snowballing out of control lately. The surgery sounds positive and your partner and friends sound wonderful. Are you getting any help like seeing a counsellor or psychologist, working through how you feel and see yourself? What triggered you getting anxiety so severe that you finished work? Was it someone saying something about the dark circles around your eyes? I hope you can learn to accept yourself just as you are. Seems to me you’re a pretty cool person. Your partner and friends certainly thinks so! Accepting yourself can take time and practice and finding and using the right strategies. All the best to you Jesse, and look forward to hearing how you are going on this forum. Cheers Suz

[geoff]

dear Jesse, as Suz has said welcome to this caring forum.

Anxiety for any reason is going to traumatise you, and it doesn't have to be something that other people say 'that's it's only a small issue' outside from this group, to you it's enormous, and that's what really makes you anxious.

Maybe your mates have taken you under their wing and would protect you under any circumstances, and wouldn't allow anyone to tease you or criticise you, because that's what 'friends are for', as it reminds me of a song which I can't remember.

If your partner is understanding and so loving towards you then she will appreciate where you are coming from.

Please let us know how the surgery goes or when you are having it, and please we have a lot of people who seek help and advice, which they get from all of us, but they never return and this saddens us because we definitely want to know how they are getting on. Geoff.

[optimistic]

Dear Jesse

You have a great circle of friends and a wonderful partner, which millions others suffering from anxiety don't happen to have.

There are things that are within our control and there are others that simply aren't. For example, we have no control over our height, our nationality, where we are born etc.

Anxiety and Depression does not differentiate between the rich and the famous or the good looking ones or the successful ones. Prince Diana, Ian Thorpe, Elvis Presley, most famous pop stars - all suffer from depression.

What needs to change is not your dark circles but the way you think about it. If you learn to love yourself with all the warts and farts, you will not worry about what others think about you.

You are what YOU THINK you are.

Please check out CBT ( Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) and understand the distortions in thinking that is so common and how to think differently.

To me, the root cause of your problem appears to your gaming addiction. If you can get over that bad habit, change your lifestyle so you are relaxed, peaceful and stress-free (try yoga or meditation or mindfulnesss), your outlook in life is likely to improve.

Unless you take steps to change, there is a risk of antagonising your friends and partner.

Please look into volunteering in some field that interests you - animals, meals on wheels, etc to spend your valuable time in a meaningful and fulfilling manner instead of on gaming which is pulling you into a deep rut.

Take care and God bless.

[Jesse00]

Thanks guys

I should have said i started seeing a psychologist for a little while. With work suzbj i would see lots of different people on a daily basis and when i would be numerous amounts of comments i just couldn't take it, i do know there are people out there worse off but it still is a pretty crappy feeling.

My surgery is in April Geoff and ill defiantly let u guys know how it goes. If its a success i will be feeling alot better about my appearance and  will be alot more social (hopefully)

I have also been diagnosed with Body dysmorphic disorder which mix with anxiety and depression isnt great fun.

Yeah good idea optimistic, Ive actually taking some of your advice and instead of gaming ill take the dogs for a dog or do some constructive. Volunteering is a great idea and i plan on doing something like that hopefully after a successful surgery.

Thanks for the help guys and ill keep you posted