Dear Aria
Hello and welcome to the forum. Thank you for telling us your story. As the others have said, it is brave of you to post here. Many people find it daunting but after a few posts it does become easier.
Most of us have one or two irrational fears which do cause difficulties. It most certainly does not help to try and push these thoughts away by saying they are irrational. Recognising how irrational they are is a good start but often more work is necessary depending on how entrenched the thought is.
I have to agree with you about social media. I think it has become so overwhelming that it's reason (keeping people in contact) has become lost. I also realise this will be considered heresy by some for making this observation. I have heard of so much stress caused by what is almost an addiction to social media. Not good.
May I ask, are you the only person living with your depressed family member? It sounds as though there are other people with you. Have you talked to other family members about how concerned you are becoming about your relative and the effect on your life? Please remember you are not responsible for the well-being of this person. Does he/she have any professional Help? It sounds like this is imperative. As Yelena has said, More recently I’ve started to realise we are just young adults who feel like we’ve got the weight of the world on our shoulders and with one wrong move it will collapse, but it won’t. That's an important thought to remember. You cannot spend your life watching every word you utter. That is far to big a strain.
I think it would help you to see your GP and get a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist. I include psychiatrist as the gap payment is often the same as for a psychologist but you can see a psychiatrist as many times as necessary but can only see a psychologist ten times a year unless you pay the whole fee. Talk to your GP.
Mary
