Feeling like I'm not real

[darthritis]

Hey guys,

Long time anxiety sufferer here, 

I've been dealing with GAD for about 20 years now, and in that time had all the fun symptoms (heart palpitations, panic attacks, nausea, insomnia, stomach problems, etc) but the one I'm struggling with the most is depersonalization.

I constantly feel disconnected from reality. Often I will be driving and look at my hands and think they aren't mine.

I look around me at my surroundings and don't feel real. It's like a weird dream or that I'm not really in control and I'm looking through someone elses eyes. It's so bizarre. It makes my anxiety worse because it scares me and disorientates me when I notice it.

Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like I'm going mad?

[white knight]

Hi darthritis, welcome

I had heavy anxiety for 25 years then managed to rid myself of it entirely. More on that soon.

I suggest (as my unprofessional opinion only) that your imagination, for whatever reason, is the spark that is leading to some anxiety..not the anxiety itself doing it.

I've had similar thoughts. But there is some logic to them. We are odd beings, hands, fingers, hunters, nurturers and we fill this planet. Your depth of mind takes you to this logic. You are a thinker. Those non thinkers that just have fun in life don't venture there- to those topics.

Considering many known geniuses of the past were mentally ill and some are/were great entertainers etc it isn't so unusual that a small percentage of us unintentionally allow our mind to wander. It isn't so unusual to not have 100% control of mind.

So I suggest you take this further with your GP. Medication can also have side effects in this regard.

Anxiety. In 1987 my untreated anxiety came to a peak. I commenced medication and relaxation exercises particularly 'muscle tensioning exercises'. The medication was ceased in 1998 but the exercises remain to this day. In 2012 I could say all symptoms stopped. I cant begin to express the importance of MTE's. I do them in bed prior to sleeping and it helps my sleep also.

Hope that helps.

Tony WK

[Delphinium]

I've felt this way sometimes during periods of particularly high anxiety and it really distressed me the first couple of times. I too wondered if I was losing it but once I recognised it as another anxiety symptom it became easier to just ride it out and wait for some feelings of reality and normalcy to return. I think it's one of those things that the more you learn to accept it and let it wash over you instead of trying to fight it, the less power it eventually has over you. I know it's really unpleasant but try to remind yourself that anxiety is good at playing tricks with our minds and we don't actually have to pay as much attention to these tricks as we feel we have to (due to the fear they invoke).

[raq]

Have you overcome this yet? I suffer with it bad and most nights can’t sleep because my brains over working and I have a panic attack every day if not multiple times a day ? 

[therising]

Hi darthritis

Definitely a scary experience at times when there's no reference to what's going on with us. As I mentioned to raq in some way, our experience depends on where we're coming from, what we're referencing. The rational mind has to have a reference otherwise it freaks out a bit if it has nothing to reference.

Personally, I'm one of those woo woo gals. Wasn't always this way until I began to relate more to the mind/body/spirit side of things. Not everyone's cup of tea but I'll throw a bit out there in case it makes a difference.

Quantum physics dictates we're energy in the form of solid matter to some degree. Around us is also matter and energy. In a nutshell, we interact with energy because we're a part of the quantum energy field. If you're sensitive enough to feel energy spikes, you'll definitely feel them. Spikes come in a whole lot of different forms: Spikes in your nervous system, ones through words someone throws your way (that you can feel), sound/music, chemical impact of caffeine, when certain inner dialogue or belief systems are triggered etc. All have a certain type of energy or feel to them. In the world of the woo woo people, this is know as 'being able to feel the energy shifts'.

I've found derealisation can relate to 'The observer' effect. I do know this sounds out there but if you choose to say 'I'm a soul having a physical experience', how would a soul observe itself in the body it's in? It would hold a hand up in front of the body and say 'This hand belongs to the body I'm in'. This can feel like a whole different reality. While questioning this 'soul' take on things can be fascinating, reality dictates you can't keep questioning what's real when you're driving a car. Reality dictates 'Close your mind, come back down to earth and drive or you'll crash'. So, there's a serious importance when it comes to opening and closing the mind. Like breathing in and out - open the mind to possibility, close it to rationalise/make sense of things (a form of grounding).

Met a beautiful lady some years back who wrote a book called 'Am I Going Mad?'. It's basically about this kind of thing. As I say, the mind/body/spirit take's not everyone's cup of tea, just an interesting way of looking at and wondering about who we really are.