Feeling extremely anxious about work

[Paulin]

I am a 20 year old international student in Australia. Just a month ago, I managed to get a job closer to my university and move out of my toxic sister's home which was really far away - it took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to reach university every day.

I work as a Personal Care Assistant in a privately owned low care facility. Along with this my work also involves doing kitchen duties, ie making and serving tea and coffee, cleaning the floors, wiping tables, doing laundry etc. I am sad to say that even after a month of working in that place I still get really anxious over every small mistake I do, for example forget to close the closet doors after taking something out, forget to place the sppon on the right side of the table, not remembering which resident has been served and which hasn't in the dining room, forget to turn the washing machine on etc. I get scolded for every mistake I make - it started in the 2nd week of me working and continued to get more and more brutal.

Although my 1st priority is always making sure the residents are safe and taken care of, the managers are more concerned with the beauty and look of the place to make it pristine for the health inspectors. On my last shift I got scolded by the manager for not noticing that there was spilled milk in the freezer, even though my duties are not in the kitchen - they have 1 chef and 1 kitchen hand for that - just because I had to quickly make a cup of tea for a resident and had to open the freezer to take milk out. I am sure I did not spill it - the bottle was half empty anyway. Next, I got scolded for not noticing that someone had left the heat pack in the microwave for too long, even though I had not put it there, and the smell was in that room. All this got me so anxious that when I was moving a resident with help from another PCA to the bed, my leg was stuck in the walking frame and I tripped and fell. I told the manager what happened as I felt it was better coming from me than have the other PCA rat me out. She basically told me I am not fit to be a nurse and need more training. She said she was ready to give me her reference if I still wanted to work in the same field buf elsewhere. I asked her if I am going to be removed from the roster and she said "no no, you will not be removed from the roster".

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It seems clear you are trying your best and in others eyes it isnt good enough, sad really but let's see how we can overcome this predicament.

Workplace pressure is in nearly every job. I've had 90 jobs and 15 professions.

There is a unwritten procedure in many managers to find fault to "keep employees on their toes" and regularly reinforce their authority. So you might not eliminate your problem entirely.

The best tool that will help you is a notebook and pen. Get into the habit of using it all the time. Use it for-

• Listing procedures
• Time and date when a supervisor gives you an unreasonable direction so you have that if they deny they instructed you
• Extra work beyond your charter in case they claim you are neglecting your duties

And so on.

Of the 90 jobs I've had only two had supervisors of any quality. As a young prison officer I was taught correct supervision techniques but many managers rise up the ranks without such education.

I would also set about some 1,2,5 and 10 year goals and in those goals include a profession with limited supervision like your own business.

Finally, Google these-

Beyondblue topic fortress of survival (workplace)

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Repost anytime

TonyWK

[Dorothy1]

Dear Paulin,

It must be so difficult to be picked on at every little mistake that you make. It must make you feel like you are not competent while there must be so much that you are doing right.

I think that one month in a job is very short to be able to do absolutely everything perfectly and it sounds like most of the things that you are being picked on are very trivial.

That actually reminds me of a job I got in retail a long time ago. the manager was always so picky on me whatever I did, that made me feel really bad about myself. But then I realised she had her favourite in the shop, someone that she must have found prettier. My sales were much better than hers but she still preferred the other girl. What I am coming at, is that maybe it not to do with you but her.

Are you still going to be employed there? that sounds a bit vague. She wants to give you a reference implying that you should start looking for a job elsewhere but you will still be on the roster?

All the best

Dorothee

[Summer Rose]

Hi Paulin

I'm really sorry that you are having such a tough time at work. Please know that everyone makes mistakes, particularly when starting a new job.

The incidents you have described certainly don't make you "unfit to be a nurse". I would not be discouraged in your choice of career path by those unkind words. It seems your boss is being quite harsh and lacking understanding of just how hard it is to learn and remember everything when you start a new job.

I would, however, give some thought as to whether you want to continue working in that facility. It seems they do not share your values about putting patient care first and I worry about the impact of the constant nitpicking on your mental health. I don't think your boss will change her views at this point, despite your best efforts, as your boss is really asking you to leave but giving you the choice as to how it will play out.

Your boss is willing to give you a reference, which you will need to find another job. Perhaps it is in your best interests to take it and move on.

I say this because if the boss moves to terminate your employment (which sounds like it could happen) it will be much harder for you to get a job following a termination with no reference.

What do you think? Would it be better for you to move on? Could you find other work? Hopefully, if this were possible, you could find a new employer who would treat you with understanding and respect.

Kind thoughts to you