Feeling a bit lonely and isolated at the moment

[PsychedelicFur]

Hey there, it’s PsychedelicFur here again! How are you?

I’m feeling a little bit lonely at the moment. I don’t really connect to anyone in my university course as they have already made their cliques and seem to already have established connections. And worse than that I am doing a course as a pathway that is orientated specifically around something that I am not really interested in but I am only doing this as a pathway so eventually I can get the credentials to get into the desired course I want to study. It’s sports media and journalism. And I am the least sporty person ever but I really enjoy the course because it’s a great introduction into the media industry. Although it is teaching the students how to be commentators and sports journalists... I just enjoy learning about how to use professional sound recording equipment and I also really like learning how to write scripts and reports. So everyone sort of bonds over sport whilst I am in the corner and I have no intentions of studying further information about sport. I just feel like they all are the same type of people.. and it’s hard for me to find any form of connection. Some of them are quite immature and don’t really like doing much work either. I am flying through the work though and gaining so much knowledge about filming, photography, radio production and design, which I love enormously. And if it were not for that I would have left earlier on.

Just feeling out of place. I’m nowhere near a sporting person and I just feel like I cannot simply connect to anyone at the moment. And when I left my boyfriend it made me feel like I was hopeless, but I haven’t spoken to him for a whole month and I am honestly so very proud of myself and my progress. Just feeling a bit isolated and lonely at the moment. Loving my work.. love creating art and cinematography but I just feel like such a misfit and an outsider. Sick of feeling this way. It’s always been this way with people too. Even all the way through primary and secondary school. And I have tried with some people in my course but it’s awkward and I feel no connection at all. And they always sort of try to either brush me off or wait until their friends come over to be with them.

I feel so misplaced. My parents are settling their divorce. I may have to move house. I want to find inner peace and joy. I try to observe little things throughout the day that can make me happy.

PSYCHEDELICFUR.

[Boudica]

Hello PsychedelicFur,

It can be really tough when you are studying or working in a field that attracts people who kinda just aren't your tribe, especially when they all seem really connected as a group. I have been in this situation a lot. I used to think that it was because I was just naturally a loner, but I don't think it is totally that.

The first time was when I was in my teens when I started a mechanical engineering course (which actually really interested me at the time), but the other students (all guys) and teachers (all men) were either crushingly sexist or ignored my existence. I withdrew as I couldn't cope with this, and I have always regretted giving up, but I just wasn't strong enough at the time. I have now learned to adapt a bit I think, and even though I often feel the odd one out, people aren't all the same and sometimes can surprise you. Over time you can find other similarities you can bond over, even if it is the shared work and technical matters. I worked in a corporate financial setting for more than 15 years and I am not the stereotypical person that dwells in such places, and I have to admit sometimes in meetings I would look around and just get an overwhelming imposter syndrome feeling. Over time I also realised it was often me judging them, rather than the other way around too, so just being okay with your own differences and with theirs.

You seem to know where you are going, and have a strong sense of identity, which is great. I am so happy that you are finding the course interesting. When you make it to your true destination, hopefully you will find your tribe. In the meantime it will do the sporty folks some good to see things from a different perspective.

All the best

[Giraffe]

I know how you feel, it is tough when you feel as though you don’t fit in. I wish you the best of luck with your studies though and hope you find some common ground soon.