fear of losing people

[Alizerath]

hi. my name is ali, and for as long as I have been alive I have had the most detrimental fear of losing somebody. for example, whenever someone I love is even 10 minutes later then they said they would be home, I start panicking. I lose all consiousness and kind of enter a "new body". it's such an odd experience. I start violently shaking and sometimes crying, and I can't think of anything else but the person who isn't there. I am so scared to find out someone I love is not here anymore. sometimes during these episodes, I think incredibly irrationally. I often times find myself thinking life will never be the same, etc. I have looked everywhere online for anyone who has dealt with something similar, but no one has and it makes me seem crazy. what makes me feel worse is that I don't think I have any reason to behave this way. nothing in my past, nothing. I can't live like this anymore because it happens so often- every day, if not twice a day. I just can't bear the thought of someone not being there anymore. please, if anyone has even heard about this before let me know. it'd be nice to know if I'm not alone.

[PamelaR]

Hi Ali and warm welcome to Beyond Blue

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm pleased you've found your way to our forums. You'll find you are not alone. Anxiety can come from a number of causes.

I'm not a health professional, though I am someone who has lived with anxiety for a long time. What you are experiencing is normal for some of us when we love people a lot. Have you had a look at the following webpage -

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2012/11/fear-of-losing-someone-you-love

There are some interesting things they have to say about - recognising that the fear is really love. That maybe one needs to spend more time with the person they are in fear of losing. Turn the fear into love. Become energised with love.

Everyone experiences anxiety for different reasons. How each of us manage our anxiety will also be different - there is not one size that fits all. What works for one may not work for another.

Feel free to browse our forums or to do a search using the search field at the top of the page. Some keywords might include - 'fear of losing', 'fear of losing someone'.

You're not alone Ali. Keep reaching out if and when you want to. No pressure to do so though.

Kind regards

PamelaR