EMOTIONAL DISTRESS ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH

[Shivers88]

Hi there,,

im very distressed and anxious about my health 😞 basically having intrusive thoughts and ending in full blown panic attacks! Which ended me up in bed for weeks and crying like no tomorrow.. This is hard Journey for me, as the thoughts I've never really experienced like this, harming my children or thinking I'm a pedophile or something stupid like that, it freaked me out. So I started to fight these thoughts out of my head which didn't work, and it snow balled. I felt like I was going crazy!!

Anyway, since then I've been feeling guilty about these thoughts and can't quite shake it off, I'm seeing someone and it's helping but today in particular in finding myself like every other day googling my symptoms, to the point where I'm so anxious I'll keep going until I'm satisfied 😞 I hate it it sucks!! It's like an addiction constantly googling shit to "find" or "self diagnose" I've also been suffering some sadness, but j avoid those feelings and just "keep going" with life you know? I've adjusted to my partner doing FIFO 2/1 and it pretty much happened a week after that, which didn't help at all really... It triggered me off. Do I take meds if I'm feeling really miserable,? I have constant brain fog as If a black cloud is in my head, no clarity or anything 😞 it's debilitating 😞

[Shivers88]

Cornstarch,

i mena how would you even know it's trauma? Why would you jump to conclusions when you don't even know me?

i may have experienced trauma in my childhood that is completely irrelevant to my intrusive thoughts, however. When you go through trauma, anxiety and other psychological issues arise as a result.

intrusive thoughts are part of an anxiety disorder, it's scary, yes.. And i am engaging professionals which have given me diagnosis.

[Cornstarch]

You've made a very good point. I am sorry for assuming anything Shivers88 if I offended you. I thought about what you said and I took out a pen and paper and wrote a list of all the different conditions intrusive thoughts are a feature of. It's a long list. It made me realise the chances of health professionals getting the right diagnosis first time off are pretty slim. I was listening to the radio about 2 months ago and someone was talking about how it is not uncommon to take on average 10 years from the time symptoms present, to the time the correct diagnosis is given. It made me angry it took so long for that women to receive the treatment that was the right fit for her. But then thinking about it, there is so much cross over that any one person could present with symptoms that could fit many conditions. I can see why people working in the mental health sector burn out. It is just so hard to know what is what when there are so many common symptoms across all the illnesses that create psychological distress. And choosing the correct treatment must be equally as difficult. Sorry shivers88

[Shivers88]

Hi Cornstarch,

no worries. I totally understand.

when I had these synptims( I've never experienced so powerful before) I immediately though I was a damn psychopath, but psychopaths don't worry about being psychopaths if you know what I mean? I though it was Bi Polar, I thought I was experiencing psychosis, (but I knew what was happening to me, I was still very much in reality) And it made sense that because I was under so much stress and distress I literally burnt out! Literally! And have been off work for 5 months. My anxiety/ panic and worry amount distress comes and goes. And that's what I deal with mostly. I didn't stop when my body told me too. It stopped for me, and unfortunately in not a very good state. So I'm working on it. And I'm hoping to go back to work in August. I don't take medication, but should. As I know it'll help. I'm being far too hard on myself. I don't like a tablet or pill controlling my life. 😑 just don't like the idea... But I'm working on it. Going back to my GP soon.

[Cornstarch]

Totally understand man. It makes you feel like a fruit loop regardless of why you have anxiety.

Wish I could say my anxiety was purely biological like other people, I get so jealous. Cos it means I wouldn't have to deal with my sexual traumas and instead it would just feel like a medical condition that I have to learn to manage, without the horror story. But then on the other hand my buddies who have severe anxiety, amazing parents and zero trauma tell me they feel like defective losers with their condition and at least someone like me has a reason to be anxious. I guess in the end we're all way too hard on ourselves.

Good luck getting back into work or another pursuit whatever fits your health best. I'm sure you're very capable. I have pushed myself to breaking point so many times I've lost count. Wishing I was like my friends when I'm just not. I have no way to cope except accepting jobs at a lower level, even though I'm capable of more.

Seen some sexual assault posts on here tonight, gotta go reply to these souls.

[Gatti]

You must look up paul David's website and get his book. AT LAST A LIFE he went through it all and found the way to get better