depersonalisation and "living in my head"

[Susiej]

Hi All,

im a newbie desperate for some help.

Been suffering from pretty bad anxiety for about 4months, I went on an antidepressant about 5 weeks ago which has helped with the physical symptoms but unfortunately I also suffer from depersonalisation and I'm basically "living in my head" thinking of every thought and if my mind goes quiet it freaks me out, bascially I don't know how to think or feel normal anymore.

im so scared I'm going to go crazy and get schitzofrenia or pyschosis.. 

Will this ever get better 😞 

[White_Rose]

Dear Susie

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. It's great that you have been able to write in here and ask for help.

Can I ask who prescribed your antidepressant? If it was your GP did he/she refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist? Can you explain depersonalisation to me? I have not heard of it before so I do not understand the implications.

It seems that everyone who has a mental illness, and that includes anxiety, feels they are going crazy. Any illness that we do not understand makes us leap to that conclusion. I have sleep apneoa but before it was diagnosed I thought I was losing the plot big time. In many ways it is a relief to have a name for our various illnesses.

Your thinking process scares you and possibly you do not understand the whys and hows. So I am wondering why you have not been referred to a mental health expert. Of course, I may be making assumptions here, so please set me right if this is the case. Having one mental health difficulty does not mean you will develop another illness, except possibly depression. This always hovers in the background with anything that upsets and worries us. We can become depressed because of a physical illness, as a part of another mental illness or as the result of an traumatic event or series of events.

I will stop writing here until I know more. Please write back and tell us a little more about yourself and what sort of help you are receiving.

Mary

[Minitrue]

Hi Susiej.

Aah! Depersonalisation and derealisation, one of the two most upsetting symptoms of anxiety.

I have suffered from it during periods of elevated anxiety before, I actually use it as my 'warning alarm' to myself that I need to breathe, take a step back, and work through my anxious thoughts.

I want you to know, you are not going crazy, even though your mind sometimes convinces you that you are. For those that don't know, DP and DR is a common symptom of anxiety that makes the sufferer feel as though they aren't present. You see things happening but they don't actually feel like they're happening, things don't feel 'real', almost like being in a state of déjà vu 24/7. DP/DR is a symptom of anxiety and nothing more. Pay it no attention, continue your daily life knowing it is temporary and will not hurt you.

Healthy distractions are great, I love cars and driving, but when I felt anxious I felt like I was in great danger behind the wheel because my mind didn't feel 'right'. I forced myself to drive as a means of grounding my thoughts. I started to listen to the sounds of the engine, changing gears when the engine reached a certain pitch, I found this incredibly helpful for some reason, as my attention was on the act of driving rather than fretting over my state of mind. Hanging out with friends outside of the home also had the same effect.

I hope you get well soon, it's temporary, it will be over sooner than you know it.

[geoff]

dear Susie, hi and thanks for coming to this site.

Could I get you to google this please 'ocd depersonalization derealization', where other web sites will come up, they are very interesting, and like to get your comments on them. L Geoff. x

[michaellee1990]

hi everyone,

thank go dim not the only one going through this, but anyway I'm stuck in this mode where i feel like I'm going to collapse and die all day everyday, i feel disconnected from my body like I'm going to faint, the only thing that seems to help is medication, which just makes it worse when i run out, is there anything i can do to feel like my old self again, i feel like i have to act normal all the time and get bad social anxiety because i thonk people will noticee that I'm not all there... man this sucks

[saviourseth]

Micheallee

Sorry to hear that. I know just how you feel. Know that there are other people possibly within a 5 meter radius that feel exactly the same. I wish i knew an answer.

Just know that a lot of us are struggling out there. Sometimes that helps me in a social setting

Get quite bad on the train each day. It can be crippling.

good luck and you are never alone

Saviourseth

[nofuturecrim]

Hey all. Sometimes I look in the mirror in my bathroom mirror and I don't connect with the image reflected back. I feel nothing, as if I were looking at the reflection of a stranger. Sometimes I feel like parts of my body could be cut off without consequence. It wouldn't hurt because these parts are no longer connected. Sometimes I cut those parts just a little to make sure that it still has feeling and belongs to me. Don't pretend you have depersonalisation unless you really have it because you only make it harder for those who have the legitimate illness. It is difficult enough to diagnose without people who are having anxiety spouting out that they have depersonalisation disorder. It takes at least a year to diagnose - or longer! Not a cheap or easy mental illness people!