Confused

[Scared1956]

Hi Everyone

My mother is moving into a nursing home because she can’t cope at home. My anxiety has been great until I visited the home mum will be living in to check things out. Now it’s rampant and I don’t understand why. Mum moving in to a nursing home has been a long time happening. I’m happy that she finally agreed to do it. And knowing that she will be safe and she will eat. My father was in a nursing home 3 years ago he had Dementia he passed away due to a heart attack. Both nursing homes are in the same street, they are a distance between them and I can avoid going past the one dad was in. Maybe it’s that. I’m grabbing a straws here trying to work out why my anxiety is bad.

[ravish_rodent]

hello

I feel like you have anxiety about your mother going into a nursing home because of what happened to your father. It's completely valid to feel this way, as they are manifesting from a past experience that obviously hurt you. It also probably gives you anxiety because it's so close to the nursing home your father passed away in and I know you can avoid it but the best way to deal with anxiety and overcome it is exposure to things that provoke your anxiety. Some tips if you will, don't keep a close mind to this whole situation, just because it happened once, does not mean it will happen again, it's not written in stone and it never will be. Nursing homes do provide a lot of care and the offer a wide range of activities that are aimed to keep your mother's wellbeing up and well. They will also support her with the care that she needs and they also offer transport and weekly GP visits. So please, I hope this post helps you deal with your anxiety and don't forget, life isn't set in stone and for the same event to happen twice is highly unlikely. Try look at the positives and at the end of the day, it's completely natural to be anxious about a big change happening in your life or other's lives. Live long and prosper, love you.

-ravish rodent, signing out

[Croix]

Dear Scared1956~

Welcome here, it is a safe place to discuss your feelings and I hope you will receive some help from coming here, there is a vast range of experiences to draw from

I guess the first thing to ask is what you feel the cause might be, not necessarily that you are sure abut it, just your feelings about what it may be. Perhaps there is one aspect of this move that recurs more frequently than the rest in your anxieties?

Such a radical change, with sadly your father passing away and now your remaining parent going to the home will make most people anxious at least at first.

There are of course several things to take into account, your mother's attitude to the change, the standard of facilities, possibly finances, and of course the fact you will no longer have any parent at home with you. This is a big change in one's life and if it was me would lead to a sense of loss.

I'd also wonder if it a suitable thing to discuss with your mum?

Might I ask if you will be living alone, or do you have family or others living with you? It can make a big difference when you have support and are not dealing with all this alone.

I look forward to talking with you some more

Croix