Hey James, sweetness, I'm probably twice your age, and when I first wrote down `I wish...''' I wrote so many pages of wishes and more wishes...I cried and cried and cried. Since then, I still do it every day, and every day i cry. But its a bit less each time...so..maybe it will be ok...
My parents divorced young after a violent relationship, I was probably neglected as a baby, and my step dad and mum fought and separated multiple times......from everything I've learned from therapists and reading, its really normal for babies and young kids to feel responsible for it, to try to make it their job to fix it, because we're sooo dependent, what else else is there to do? And we blame ourselves and feel worthless as well.
I try to keep it in mind, but its not easy to deal with the distressed feelings, when they come up....
All I really can say, is I think what you're feeling is normal, and I really believe in expressing feelings on paper or with someone you trust, if you can? Its so much better to get them out.
