Boyfriend broke up with me because of his mental health

[JodyB]

My boyfriend of 6 months suddenly ended our relationship nearly 2 weeks ago. He told me he wasn't in a good head space and couldn't be in a relationship right now because he needs to focus on himself and his mentality. He had been telling me for a few weeks that he wasn't feeling happy within himself and wasn't in the best frame of mind. We haven't really spoken too much since the break up. I'm hurting a lot and finding it really hard to accept. I have these thoughts that maybe he just didn't think I was good enough and didn't have feelings for me. 

[JodyB]

Hi livi,

Thank you for your comment. It's so hard to not get stuck in the thought patterns was it me, is there something I should or shouldn't have done. I'm trying to tell myself pretty much what you said, he couldn't put into the relationship because he needs to heal. He did say to me when he ended it that not being able to give me what I need in the relationship weighed heavily on his mind daily. The worst part is just feeling like I meant nothing to him because it seems like it was so easy for him to walk away. 

[Guest_1584]

Hi op.

Depending on whether his reasoning was legit but he would've heard you and if he is legit it will still mean a lot to him . lf so he just hasn't replied bc he just can't deal with more right now.

In my situation on good days she has still been in touch and we've talked many times and atm she's planning to come down over the holidays and we'll just see from there now, no expectations as she's still in a bad way but a little better.

lf he was legit then "if" - he does start to get on top of things you my well start hearing from him again.

l knew l would with my partner bc l know what she's been through and her waves atm but never the less, l tried also to just go on with my life too and wasn't holding my breath bc there were def' still no certainties about us nonetheless . And when you start to feel a bit better that's what you need to do , just try to get on with things and life , and try to start enjoying yourself again and with no expectations of bf..

Good luck hang in there , things will get better whichever way it goes.

rx

[JodyB]

Thank you. 

Things seem to be getting harder for me. It's been a bit over a month since he ended it and 2 weeks since we had any contact. I've been upset everyday. I go overseas in 3 weeks for a holiday and it's literally the only thing getting me through my days. A part of me just wants him to reach out....although I'm not exactly sure what I would want him to say...it's so hard!

[JodyB]

So 4.5 weeks after the breakup and he's back on a dating app. He said it doesn't mean he's actively dating if he's on an app and his therapist told him there's no issue with getting on and talking to people. I guess there's more to the break up then just him needing to work on himself. I think he just didn't want to be with me.