Hi Alex;
It seems you're in quite a state and need urgent support. This reply comes 4 hrs after you posted so it may be too little too late I'm afraid. To make sure you're safe and supported at work, try having a Crisis Response Plan to ensure you have someone to call if it happens again ok.
Having autism makes facing challenges harder. I get this, but it's not something that can't be dealt with. There's plenty of organisations that can help you gain confidence and learn coping techniques. I hope you're ok with asking for help in your community.
I'm wondering if you have an employment or NDIS/disability case worker to turn to. If so, this is a good issue to raise at your next appointment. There's no shame in feeling the things you've experienced. You just weren't prepared for it to happen out of the blue.
Take care ok, and come back to chat if you need to. I'm here most days, but probably won't get straight back to you as there's time delays between posts. I hope everything turned out reasonably ok considering the severity of your emotions. I wish you well..
You're a very courageous person to reach out as you have, so congratulations and well done!
Talk soon;
Sez
