Anxiety- needing to be in control of everything. Cant deal with the unknown.

[Maggiemadam]

Hi All.

I'm new to this. Im married with two children. I struggle with parenting and life in general. I feel I always have to be in control- more so to know what is happening. I can't deal with the unknown. I get very anxious when things don't go as I had planned them. Something as little as I planned an activity to do with my kids and husband but my husband is home late from work. I can't deal with it as it has buggered up my routine. I get very emotional and irrational when things like this happen. I also struggle with parenting and thinking Am I doing the right thing, am I teaching them right. Times they act out, don't listen etc, I take it personal like I'm not a good enough parent. I do so many other abnormal things as well- too many to list. Just wondering if anyone else out there feels like me??

Thank you

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Your post has taken me back to a crisis point 32 years ago. I had to seek therapy to get back on track. In particular I had to learn things I didnt learn as a teenager, cognitive deficiency was the term.

I then learned how to deal with intrusive thoughts, gain self esteem and be realistic.

That meant stopping fantasizing. He'd say things like "Tony, when are you going to stop trying to save the world"? And it would stick in my mind. Therapy provided clarity.

Add to that some serious relaxation I still do nightly in bad before sleeping. Called muscle tensioning exercises they are in the following

As for being a parent, your worry about whether you are or not proves you are a good one.

Google These-

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Beyondblue topic the best praise you'll ever get

Beyondblue topic he helped me for 25 years -Maharaji

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

TonyWK

[Maggiemadam]

Thank you for taking the time to read, reply and providing feedback and support. Much appreciated. I shall go and google those now.

[geoff]

Hi Maggiemadam, and a warm welcome to the forums.

Following on from Tony's advice there is another site to have a look at:

https://www.verywellmind.com › fear-of-losing-control-in-ocd-2510667, because having these thoughts and feelings are what I had to try and cope with growing up.

Becoming very anxious when things don't go as had planned were my OCD obsessions, but your doctor should be able to diagnose you, and we would really like to follow up, and if you have any questions regarding OCD I'd be very happy to get back to you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Maggiemadam]

Thank you Geoff.

I think your onto something with the OCD, I hadn't thought of that side of it. Thanks for sharing and providing the link. Its very helpful!