Hi, so this is my first time posting and I see it’s about anxiety so I want to tell you how it feels for me to me.
My anxiety makes me feel like I’m trapped inside my mind, I wanna say things but yet can’t, I just want to be free.
I cannot see my friends, which causes everyone to get up and leaves
I cannot drive to the small shops down the road nor walk up a main road of a smaller town to an ATM just to get money out.
And whenever I go to reach my handout... all that I’m left with is a mindful of self-doubt.
Don't get me wrong I have other conditions, but anxiety is that one that I cannot learn to deal with. It’s subconscious, it’s never ending in my head, even when I know that I am safe, no matter what place.
I’ve shed tears sitting in a car surrounded by pretty sparking trees covered in amazing glowing lights.
I cried because I wanted to be normal, I wanted win, I’m sick of having these fights with my anxiety, but I never win. I wanted to get out and look at these beautiful things but I couldn’t, it was crowded and I felt so left out within.
I wish I could explain my anxiety to people who either can cope fine, or do not have it.
as it’s not something I can shake, I am not weak, I am quite thick-skinned but anxiety is a disorder unlike my mother would tell me, alongside my other disorders.
But I look at her constantly with tears in my eyes, see she knows her and my father brought out one of my other disorders but all that they expect me to do is take their orders.
Not realising they’ve ruined their child, not taking the time to educate themselves.
Not only is it ME that suffers from this, but also Borderline Personality.
I need help to cope, but it’s nowhere I can find.
- Anxiety is not pretty nor is it fun, I cannot take phone calls, I cannot work jobs around lots of people. I can’t do normal things. If anyone has been in this situation, I feel for you; as I’m still unsure what I can do.
