Anxiety has come back

[plodalong]

hi, haven't posted here for a while. I guess things have been going ok. thought I would start a new thread, as its been nearly a year! husband left 2 years ago under very dramatic circumstances, I have the kids. he does nothing to help - severe issues. We were and are at risk from him. Just having a feeling sorry for myself time. Do people feel sorry for me, or worried I will ask them for help? Are people gossiping about my situation? probably. I might be doing obsessive thinking about a few things. Its horrible. Desperately trying distraction. If anything goes wrong with the house it is a BIG deal. Probably because my ex husband told me I was a stupid **** and should leave repairs and anything technical to him. That didn't help. Actually I have got things sorted better than he did!? anyways..So I know how I am feeling. If there is a bottle of wine in the fridge I will grab it. Don't worry I don't drink the whole thing, just a glass here an there. I am increasing my dose of medication for a while. Think I need to. Facebook doesn't help me at all. People overseas on these great holidays, and getting their nails done! are you kidding!?? I don't go on Facebook a lot. I could post about my day..look at me I am obsessing about the possum in the roof to the point of making myself sick. There are no photos to show. I am just really sad about the trauma we have been through, and can't stop crying today. Thanks for reading. Sorry this post goes a bit all over the place. Have to be a bit vague for safety reasons. Getting through school holidays is really hard too. 🙂 Take care all.

[blondguy]

Hello Podalong

Great to have you back and thankyou for posting!

There is no judgement here and its a rock solid safe for you to post as usual Plodalong

You have been through so much and I hope you can find some peace with us here on the forums

Anyone that has the courage to go through what you have and also create a new post on Beyond Blue is far from stupid. You are smart, proactive & strong Plodalong.....seriously

Your safety and privacy is paramount on the forums.

I remember you posting a while ago. I admire your strength and courage. You are an amazing person!

My kind thoughts for you and please post back when convenient as there are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you 🙂

Paul

[Quercus]

Hi Plodalong,

I hope it's ok that I searched for your old thread to find out your story.

Forums / PTSD & Trauma / Need sympathy today 😞

I think you are being so very hard on yourself which is pretty easy to do when you've been abused and put down and threatened for so long. The reality inmy view is you are kick ass strong!

You've gotten yourself and your kids out of a threatening situation. Yes the risk is still present but you are doing the best you are able and doing what you can to be safe. I admire you a hell of a lot.

Have you been to see your therapist lately to work on your anxiety and low self esteem? It is easy to fall back into unhelpful thoughts such as being told you're no good at something and believing it.

But you are capable. 10 years ago if you'd told me I would paint my house or fence my property I'd have laughed. But I did this. It just takes someone to show you how. Are there any short courses in your area or friends who can show you some basics. You've got this. It is just overwhelming when you are anxious.

As to Facebook... Delete! I know mums on there who post about their beautiful houses and clothes and it is always photos of coffee dates but the reality is nothing like the pictures. You have noone to prove anything to. Anyone who judges needs to go look in a mirror. You are doing ok please try not to doubt yourself Plodalong.

Nat