Anxiety around certain people

[socialmoth]

Hi everyone, I'm looking to get some advice on how to handle anxiety around specific people. My step sister has one really good friend who it seems she uses as a crutch a lot in social situations. While this is totally fine, the friend has said some bad stuff about me and has told people that she doesn't like me (she has even said this to my boyfriend of 4 years). She also very subtly puts me down when she's around by making snark remarks and laughing at me. I don't have the best relationship with my step sister already and I think this is what started it.

Even though I have spoken to my step mum about how this person makes me feel (she makes me lower my self worth and the anxiety I get before seeing her makes me feel physically ill), my step mum still keeps inviting her to family gatherings. This is really upsetting to me and is another thing in itself as my family doesn't really take others into consideration.

I just found out that this person has been invited to my families mother's day brunch on Sunday and already I'm feeling a pain in my chest, can't eat properly and having minor panic attacks.

I can't bail on this brunch and I want to work on my resilience to be able to power through my anxiety in these situations. Does anyone have any tips on how to handle your anxiety around people who make you feel this way?

[IronBinder]

Hi socialmoth, I understand how you feel I've had something similar happen to me before and i understand that parents aren't always listening when you tell them how you feel it might be best if you find someone who you are around often who makes you happy and you can stick around them when she is around and if she makes any snide insults or comments you can try ignoring her or sticking around your parents when she tries to put you down and they might pick up on what she is doing. If you feel you can do it you can go up to her and tell her you don't like the way she is treating you, but personally I know that's hard which is why I didn't say to do that first up. Though it is better that the person you choose to hang around to get away from her, is aware that you feel that way and that they are willing to stand up to her with you, bullies tend to be mean to those who don't speak up for themselves and those who stay alone if you have a friend with you if you tell her to stop she is most likely to stop. I hope this helps. and I hope you that you can work through this. please tell me how it goes, I want to make sure there is someone there for you. Because I know it's not nice to go through it alone. Trust me I know.

[Petal22]

Hi Sicialmoth,

Sorry to hear your step sister makes you feel this way.....

Do you know what..... what ever she says or does is a total reflection of HERSELF not you........ always remember that...... it has nothing to do with you but all to do with herself..... you just keep going on your merry way and keep shining....

I like to say to myself when I’m confronted by such people.... we are just on different levels.....

it gives me much better perspective... give it a try

I met a rather angry lady today at the shop...... she tried to demoralise me ..... I said to her: I wish you happiness...... how about you brighten up a bit..... have a nice day...

we can always decide how to react..... that’s were we have the control....

you decide... 😊

[Petal22]

Sorry I should say your step sisters friend