anxiety about existentialism and death

[demipouce]

Questions about existentialism ?
I have been feeling really oppressed recently and have been thinking constantly about my own death and what misery the death of a loved one would bring to me as I am stranger to that feeling. I don’t believe anything has triggered this thinking, I am of nature very anxious and overthinking is a big problem for me. Also being very curious I started asking myself all those questions and it has brought a lot of sadness and stress to me. Eventually those ‘over thoughts’ go away quite quickly but I am worried I will struggle to forget about the human’s only destiny, death.
This is the type of questions / thoughts that harass my head and I will like some help to put them into perspective …
1 - Why am I ‘me’ in this era ? How in all those millions of years , am I being in 2018 ? Is it as simple as my parents having intercourse and me being the fastest sperm ? Are there any odds in the fact that I could have been born during the Middle Ages ?
2 - How does it feel like when we are dead? How to stop thinking about how the emptiness will feel like even though it will not feel like anything ? I am petrified about death, I am very adventurous and like living the life on the edge but the fact that there will not even be blackness because blackness can only be felt if our organs were still working is terrifying ..
3 - Can anyone enlighten me on the fact that we only know about to be as humans, we have no memories whatsoever of the past of the universe. We only know how to be humans since our hearts started beating, so does this mean we don’t only have one life ? I know there are religious believes for everyone but I am more likely looking for an atheist answer.
4 - If we live in a body, why couldn’t we live in another body in the future ? Without any memories of the life we lived in.
5 - How do I stop from worrying about loosing my partner or loosing my own life and how devastated It would be if any happened ?
6 - Is the daunting feeling of knowing the universe will keep on going even when we are gone as scary as I think it is ? Or am I really the only one …
PS : Are there any resources / books I could read to help understand our existence and why the universe is the way it is ?
Thank you for your help !

[white knight]

Hi Demipouse, welcome

We humans are very intelligent and that leads us to question the things you've highlighted. Since our beginning we've searched for Gods, spirits and used various means to communicate with them.

So your thoughts arent odd or even unusual. Death is the same. And if a loved one does pass away we go through a grief period that depends on the individual. Everyone has their own way. I write poetry to get my feelings out others visit gravesites or have mementos etc. Do what you feel happy with.

Acceptance is a big move. We are animals, life includes death, its the way it is. We cant change it.

What we can change is our approach to life. Please google these threads and read the first post of each

Topic: accepting yourself, the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Topic: inner peace, the glory of being you- beyondblue

Topic: humility, the good Samaritan- beyondblue

Topic: making sense of grief- beyondblue

I hope that helps

Tony WK