Agoraphobia

[Hannahmk]

Is it just me or is agoraphobia the most nightmare of a condition to ever have im so depressed that at 30 years old i need to be on ndis but i dont know what choice I have i have been living with this for years since year 8 that's well and truly over 10 years and its just gotten worse and worse to the point im pretty much homebound and the only two things I can do is go to gym ans even sometimes I want to run from there and food shopping but in a free standing building and need a trolley . Im just feeling so  frustrated im past crying ive had intrusive thoughts for the first time in my life of just wanting to end it I am so done with this life . I dont even feel like im living but just existing.  Im so burnt out from it all that I domt even habe the energy to cry over this as im writing this which I usually would . Imnover waiting for ndis its been years i habe a social worker on board trying to escalate . But this ndis is such a joke and they have made it so much harder for the people that need to access it . I feel scared constantly in life and physically stuck and like I cannot do things . Its ruining friendships relationships my fsmily dont understanding.  I just want to hop in a ball and cry im so done . Ive struggled to make friends up here in brisbane qld as it is . But this condition is just horrible . And tired of people making me feel like im been an emotional dumping ground snd like a burden when they just have noooo idea how much of a night mare this is , it is horrible 😞 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Hannahmk,

Thank you so much for your post. You have put words to what a lot of people have no doubt felt. You are absolutely not alone in finding agoraphobia incredibly challenging to manage. What can make it even more frustrating, as you’ve shared, is when you’ve reached out for help but are met with delays or barriers to accessing support. That feeling of helplessness - seeing how much this is impacting your life and those around you, but not knowing how to stop it -  is something many people here will relate to. The emotions you’re feeling - scared, angry, frustrated, upset - are all completely valid.

Agoraphobia can be so difficult for others to fully understand, especially if they haven’t experienced it themselves. But that doesn’t make your experience any less real or important. Is there anyone in your life who can offer you support right now? You deserve to feel supported and heard.

Amongst all of this, is there anything, no matter how small, that brings you a sense of calm or relief, even briefly? Sometimes those little moments of grounding can make a big difference.

If you ever feel like talking, you’re always welcome to reach out to a Beyond Blue counsellor on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat here. It can be really helpful in those moments when things feel hopeless and you just need someone to listen.

We’re here to remind you that your feelings are valid, you are not a burden, and you are taking great steps to get yourself support. You’re always welcome here.💙

Kind regards
Sophie M

[tactlesskwi]

Hello! I'd firstly like to say I don't think I've ever experienced agoraphobia, but I feel like I can empathise with you 🙂

It sounds like it is a life consuming phobia, and I am truly sorry that this is what your daily life is like. You are NOT a burden at all, and are so valued in your life. I think the fact you can express it and name it is powerful, and I was wondering if you had tried CBT at all? Not a psychologist at all, but I wondered if this would help. 

Everyone around you believes in you and loves you so, so much. I wish you the best of luck, and make sure to reach out for help when you need it 🙂