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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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tashi I finally did it !
  • replies: 3

I finally built up the courage to see a counselor and it was the best decision I ever made ! Long way to go and one day at a time . Thanks for the encouragement from the people here on beyond blue

I finally built up the courage to see a counselor and it was the best decision I ever made ! Long way to go and one day at a time . Thanks for the encouragement from the people here on beyond blue

toby91 Can somebody please give me some advice
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm a 22 year old male engineering student living in Sydney and am seeking some advice as to what I should do about my own suspected depression. My father died by suicide while i was 9 years old leaving my mother, 7yo sister and myself behind. Th... View more

Hi, I'm a 22 year old male engineering student living in Sydney and am seeking some advice as to what I should do about my own suspected depression. My father died by suicide while i was 9 years old leaving my mother, 7yo sister and myself behind. This was a massive shock to the family and at that age I had never heard of the word depression or even known that my father was sick. Me and my mother have never really sat down and discussed how bad dad's depression was so I feel a little disconnected from my mother in that respect. I also feel like i should be strong enough to cope with this and not bounden my mother with the worry of it all even though she regular asks if I'm ok as if she suspects I'm not doing well. Throughout my life I have always noticed that I tend to grab onto father figures, such as my fathers friends in my teens or for instance my honours supervisor at this point and the only explanation I have for this is that I never had one growing up. Over my 4 years at uni I've had extreme ups and lows, although I'm unsure whether depression is the cause or not or rather the general battles of life that everyone experiences. I've managed extremely well to pass all of my courses and am currently completing my honours, however I have an addictive personality that I think can probably be linked back to my father (my father smoked, only giving up due to health scares and compulsively chewed his nails much the same as me and my sister who have tried to give up both multiple times) Its very much an anxious thing that triggers me to smoke or pick my nails . Since moving out of home I have become a cigarette also smoke cannabis usually daily (for the last 2 years) to do away with the constant thoughts that occupy my mind. At the moment I've recognised that its a problem and have limited myself to only smoking late at night and no longer during the day. Previously while i was at uni I was able to get away with not attending class, smoking at home all day and passing my engineering classes from home. Now that I'm doing my honours research and looking for a full-time graduate position I am no longer able to get away with this. I have just come out of a 2 year relationship with a girl who was also heavily depressed during the time I knew her. She managed to get her life back on track through the help and support of friends, and was regular taking antidepressants at the time we broke up. Over the last 4 years i have gradually lost my interest in my hobbies. I used to pay drums every day, have a hit of tennis or squash here and there, make web-sites when i was bored. Now days all i want to do it sleep in to 12 o'clock so that I don't have to think about the day ahead, my ex, how my thesis will be finished on time, how I'm going to find a good graduate position with a final mark of 65 or the loneliness that is to come. I think the main problem is that there are a number of things stacking up which are making it particularly bad for me at the moment. I am unable to go to sleep at night (only with the aid of cannabis) and I'm currently sitting here at 5am in the morning writing this after not being able to get to sleep. My mind is constantly thinking about my ex, friends that I've lost contact with over the course of my relationship, and general hopelessness in all senses. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to catch up with my friends and go out again but most of them are now in the same position of having finished work and having full-time jobs. Previous to this I was going out with my girlfriend on a regular basis. It wasn't until my best friend and roommate came out of his own 3 year relationship and was diagnosed with depression that we sat down and talked about it. He has very similar habits to me in terms of smoking cannabis, cigarettes and day to day activities and is convinced that I have it and should go see a psychiatrist. One other thing I've noticed lately is that I get extremely anxious when dealing with people who may judge me or have an impact on the outcome of my future (for instance my honours supervisor). My heart rate increases, I begin to sweat and I have trouble thinking clearly. This is definitely a confidence issue as i know if Im prepared and haven't stayed up all night and putting my work off during the day then i feel much more confident talking to him. I just feel like I'm lacking motivation to do anything in all aspects of my life at the moment. I feel extremely guilty about my honours research (even though I enjoy the field of study) and always feel like I have never done enough or its not good enough. I am somewhat a perfectionist in my work and this can sometimes be determinetal to me I believe. For the last week and half since i broke up with my ex I haven't been able to touch my uni work again and feel bad about not having work ready to submit. Its been a struggle to get myself motivated to complete my uni work at any point however. Anyway I've run out of chars. Thx Toby

winnie_darling It hurts and I can't stop crying
  • replies: 1

I just feel awful. I have a psychologist. I have a boyfriend. But nothing is going right. Everything is wrong and it's doing my head in. My boyfriend doesn't understand and just makes me more upset. I am doing my HSC so that is even more stress. I am... View more

I just feel awful. I have a psychologist. I have a boyfriend. But nothing is going right. Everything is wrong and it's doing my head in. My boyfriend doesn't understand and just makes me more upset. I am doing my HSC so that is even more stress. I am not okay with my existence. I am not good enough and there is a gnawing at the back of my mind to go back to self harming. I don't want to, but...I don't know...I just don't really want to exist so I don't have to cry every night and feel so alone.

AmyMay2 I broke down and cried in class today
  • replies: 12

Hey, I'm kinda new around here, so I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Amy (well, that's the name I use online), I'm in year 11, and I think the stress is kinda getting to me. For a while (maybe a month or more, I've lost track) I've been feeling kin... View more

Hey, I'm kinda new around here, so I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Amy (well, that's the name I use online), I'm in year 11, and I think the stress is kinda getting to me. For a while (maybe a month or more, I've lost track) I've been feeling kinda hollow. I'm not sure if it's depression yet, and I don't want to talk to my parents about it until I'm sure, so I thought I'd seek more anonymous help first as a way to stop it from getting any worse. Normally I wouldn't bother people about my moods, but for the past month or more I've felt empty inside all the time, and it takes a lot to cheer me up. Even if something does get a laugh out of me, the happiness only lasts for a few seconds before it's gone. If I'm reading comedy websites and relaxing then it could last for a couple of hours, but with assignments that's just not possible. And, the real reason I reached out is that it's affecting my relationships. All of my friends have noticed something is wrong, and I hardly join in on con stations anymore because I don't want to ruin their moods. Besides that, I'm also very irritable (although that could come from my insomnia) and I've been snapping at my friends. I actually broke down and cried in class today (and if my parents ever found out that I'd get a severe young lashing for it) because I had to completely scrap an assignment and start over. It's due on either Friday or Monday, but because of my moods I'm not sure if I'll get it done in time, and I may fail Drama. And lastly, it's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. Lastly I've been swinging between irritated at him for 'smothering me' and always staring like he wants to jump in and do everything for me (although I think the irritation is really directed at myself for making him worried) or I've been really needy and almost manipulative (since he's always offering to buy me stuff, mostly food since that's what I like, and I feel like not refusing is sometimes using him). So... Uh... Yeah. That's me I guess. It actually makes me feel feel a little better to finally tell someone. Then again, I'm in an ok mood at the moment. If I wasn't I don't think I'd have the nerve to put all of this personal stuff in my first post.

DaenOwens96 feeling Worthless
  • replies: 7

I dropped out of school, I was meant to be In year 12. I'm stupid I don't work and have no motivation to do nothing. All I want to do is sleep all day.

I dropped out of school, I was meant to be In year 12. I'm stupid I don't work and have no motivation to do nothing. All I want to do is sleep all day.

sh91 feeling lost
  • replies: 2

Hi, I dont normally write posts, but I am at a point where I feel like I need to talk to someone. I am in my twenties, but in my early teens I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. It was an awful time, with plenty of work with a psychologist who didnt... View more

Hi, I dont normally write posts, but I am at a point where I feel like I need to talk to someone. I am in my twenties, but in my early teens I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. It was an awful time, with plenty of work with a psychologist who didnt do much for me, so I felt like I overcame the ocd on my own over a couple of years. I have always been a perfectionist, highly critical, and extremely stressed. I dont actually remember the last time I felt truly relaxed. That cant be good or normal. I dont have compulsions much anymore, however, anxiety and stress is still a problem for me, and I try to keep it hidden, but its hard. That period in my life is never talked about with my family, its never mentioned. For the past year/ year and half I have felt a deep change in me. I am always sluggish, everything seems like a chore, I get anxious in public situations and feel as though I am always being watched or criticised. I am down, and upset, and cry a lot, which I try to hide. I am moody with my family and I feel bad for that, but I cant help it. I feel like I have a rock in my head, and I am trying to fight against my brain and turn all the bad thoughts off. I have been studying since I completed high school and I have struggled with what I want to do as a career, even though I have worked so hard for top marks. After one industry not turning out to be what I thought it would be, after that disappointment, I got into a one year education course. I thought my love for the subject would make me a good teacher, with good hours and leave. But throughout the course last year I started having doubts, and I was too scared to tell my parents. I still am. I feel bad because I need to work and earn money, and I just got a job at a school for the rest of the year. But I am so down and anxious about every thought of this job and life in general. I dont know why. The thought of being a teacher now scares me; there are too many people to deal with, too many things to juggle, and too many people to be accountable to. I dont know what to do. Im so lost, I even feel numb. The thought of telling this to my family makes me even more upset as I dont think they will understand. I think I should see someone, but my previous experiences with psychologists has turned me off. I feel like I need help, time to stop and think about what I actually want in life, and time to try and be happy again. I tried to tell my mum the other day how I was feeling, I told her that I am always down, and she said I cant help you, go speak to someone. Almost like she didnt want to hear. I dont want to disappoint anyone, but I just dont think they understand. I dont know if I am depressed, or just anxious, with a combination of stress. Any help or words of guidance would be appreciated greatly. I just needed to tell someone. So thanks for hearing me.

Georgia05 It is all too much
  • replies: 3

I don't know from where to start. I feel that I hate who I am, I hate how my life is at the moment and I hate that I don't do anything to change all that. I've been overweight basically all my life and recently I managed to lose 20kg and I started fe... View more

I don't know from where to start. I feel that I hate who I am, I hate how my life is at the moment and I hate that I don't do anything to change all that. I've been overweight basically all my life and recently I managed to lose 20kg and I started feeling good about myself and being positive about the future. However, since I went back to uni after a gap year all the negative thoughts and feelings came back. I have no self belief that I can make it. I feel I'm not good enough and I'm not going to fulfil my goals. I doubt myself with everything I do. I tend to compare myself with others and wanting to be more like them and wondering why am I not like that? As a consequence of that I started my old eating habits and that makes feel even worse as I put some weight on and I dislike myself even more. I just wish I wasn't like that. I wish I was stronger and find ways to overcome all these and find a way to be happy.

PersianGirl Anxiety from father and sneaky stepmother
  • replies: 16

Hey guys so its my first time on this site and I'm hoping to God someone can help me. So my dad remarried about 8 years ago to a lady he met overseas. In the beginning she was very nice, I never even noticed her around. But in the past year or so, I ... View more

Hey guys so its my first time on this site and I'm hoping to God someone can help me. So my dad remarried about 8 years ago to a lady he met overseas. In the beginning she was very nice, I never even noticed her around. But in the past year or so, I am starting to Hate her. Hate. She gives me anxiety because she is a two faced conniving person. She acts like so sweet infront of guests and calls me sweetheart and her daughter but when we're alone she is a rude hateful person. If she knows I am home one day, she makes SO much noise slamming doors banging pots and pans around talking at the top of her lungs to her family overseas. She is very inconsiderate. When i try talking to her she won't respond or responds very cold and with an attitude. she is soooo fake!!!! my dad and I don't talk at all, just a hi and bye and when he's around she is exactly the same. It's as if she is scared to talk to me? Neither of them communicate with me. I am a prisoner in this house. I am trying so hard to study my final year at uni and I feel so alone. I can't do my work. They don't ask how I am, and she is always ignoring me when my dad is around. My brother told me when I'm not home she goes in my room because he hears my wardrobe doors sliding open and shut. When I'm at home alone with her, I don't step out of my room. I starve myself so I don't have to go out into the living room and see her face there. I hate her for making me feel like a stranger. I hate her for taking my place in the house. I hate her for being a sneaky two faced human. My dad is no better. They lock their bedroom door when they go out, when I'm at home. They hide food from us? They get angry if we try to eat when they're not eating. My Dad won't give me a key to the house. I have nowhere else to go and I'm slowly dying inside. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't handle being treated this way. And that's not even a quarter of it but I don't want to bore anyone. If anyone out there can give me any sort of advice on what to do in regards to them I would be ever so thankful and grateful. Thankyou for taking the time out to read this and sorry for rambling on. Xo

Jade12 Everything I usually enjoy just seems difficult and pointless
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone. Today isnt the best for me. I am feeling very depressed, nothing seems to be going very well. Its just very hard to look on the bright side today. Everything I usually enjoy just seems difficult and pointless. I dont think there is re... View more

Hello everyone. Today isnt the best for me. I am feeling very depressed, nothing seems to be going very well. Its just very hard to look on the bright side today. Everything I usually enjoy just seems difficult and pointless. I dont think there is really a reason for it which puzzles me

Stephaaa Please Help
  • replies: 7

I'm feeling really down and horrible today and I don't know what to do. I live with my ex boyfriend, because I was kicked out of home, and I don't have anywhere to go. We were together until last week, where my depression, anxiety and anger got the b... View more

I'm feeling really down and horrible today and I don't know what to do. I live with my ex boyfriend, because I was kicked out of home, and I don't have anywhere to go. We were together until last week, where my depression, anxiety and anger got the best of me and I was taking everything all out on him, and we basically broke up. I miss him so much, I miss what we had but he seems to see the more negative times we had together than the positive times. I just, want everything to go back to the way we were. I love him so much and it hurts so much to imagine my life without him. I just, I feel like packing all my things up and leaving, having no contact with anyone again. He's family is in his head about us dating, they think im crazy and he has a very close bond with them so whatever they say he will do. Hes just being really 2 faced about everything I just I need help today

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