Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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nish 13 but no time to celarbrate
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it was my 13th birthday and mum had just got off the phone. I thought mum would be happy hearing from nan but tears were streaming down her face, I soon found out pop had died in his sleep and everyone was upset. I went to school and when I came home... View more

it was my 13th birthday and mum had just got off the phone. I thought mum would be happy hearing from nan but tears were streaming down her face, I soon found out pop had died in his sleep and everyone was upset. I went to school and when I came home there was my dog that I had since birth howling and crying, I didn't think my birthday could get any worse. mum and me went to the vets and found out she had got cancer and in her leg and it had spreading more than last time and that they would have to put her down. a week before my mum and dad split up to instead of being happy for my birthday I was faced with family splitting up, my only pop dying and my best friend Jessi having to be put down. the following day's after went as a blur all I remember was everyone sad and depressed. my dad never came around for my birthday or the birthdays following. I'm now 18 and every birthday I'm reminded of my pop and my dog but also the sadness that come from it. I've learnt to deal with it and to always know that there up there watching me. as for my dad I believe that one day I'll see him I just hope he doesn't leave it to late. I struggle with depression but have learnt to live with it and that it's ok to cry. I wish I could go back to having a birthday without sadness but that's life, so instead on my birthday I don't go all sad I visit my pop's grave with a letter every year I changed the old one to the new one telling him about my life and my goals and tell him how much I love and miss him. it helps knowing that some how me doing that he is apart of my birthday.

Guest_44 Sick and tired of being sick and tired [triggerwarning: sexual abuse]
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Hi, I'm 19 years old. I've been battling with an autoammune disease for 5 years now. I lost my virginity to rape at 15, I've been physically abused by multiple men and now to top it off my most recent partner has just slept with another girl. I left ... View more

Hi, I'm 19 years old. I've been battling with an autoammune disease for 5 years now. I lost my virginity to rape at 15, I've been physically abused by multiple men and now to top it off my most recent partner has just slept with another girl. I left him. And it was so hard. I keep asking myself: "is this all my life is ever going to be?", "is my life just going to be a constant mental and physical battle?". I guess my question really is: how do you look at the positive side of life when everything seems to be going against you and you're bed ridden all the time?! thanks ❤

PJ_Otto Depression affecting my sporting performance - how to tell my coach what is really going on?
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Hi everyone, This is my first post so I'm not too sure what to expect but hopefully someone will be able to help me out. My younger brother passed away earlier this year from cancer and my mum died 3 years ago from cancer also. Prior to their diagnos... View more

Hi everyone, This is my first post so I'm not too sure what to expect but hopefully someone will be able to help me out. My younger brother passed away earlier this year from cancer and my mum died 3 years ago from cancer also. Prior to their diagnosis I was suffering depression and anxiety however now because of the grief and trauma of losing 2 family members it has become so severe it is affecting my everyday life and I can not hide it from others like I used to. I play a semi-elite team sport (which has saved me as it has always been my release and safe space) but now I find I can't train or play as hard and I am experiencing much higher levels of anxiety than I can cope with. I have never talked about my mental health with my team or coach in past (as it has never really affected this aspect of my life) however I know they know about my family and are a bit more lenient with with me missing training etc. but I have recently missed a few games and now have to have a meeting with the coach next session. I am unsure how to explain to them what I am going through with telling them my life story and the ins and outs of my health? I am a very private person and have only ever really spoken to my psychologist about my family and I don't want them to think I am incapable of playing at that level. I don't really like attention on me and I don't want it to be spread around the club so I would like a positive way of phrasing it all? To be honest I'm not really sure what I should say so any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance

viexon Depression, again and again and again
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I was diagnosed with depression around 6 years ago now, and I feel like it comes and goes for months on end. I haven't been able to identify what keeps causing it to come back but it does. I haven't been longer than 6 months without falling back into... View more

I was diagnosed with depression around 6 years ago now, and I feel like it comes and goes for months on end. I haven't been able to identify what keeps causing it to come back but it does. I haven't been longer than 6 months without falling back into it. I still haven't been able to understand what makes it go away. Sometimes I just wake up happy and full of life and energy, and sometimes I just begin to feel emotions again but either way the depression goes away for a while. For the past month I have been feeling incredibly numb, started during the mid semseter break at uni. Nothing brings me joy or pleasure anymore, I have no energy or motivation to work towards my goals or continue my hobbies, but remembering my psychologists advice I keep at it anyway. She said that action leads to motivation which leads to action but regardless of how much I do or even what result I get from uni, I feel incredible numb. I haven't been able to get appointments with my regular GP or psychologist until the end of June and I'm begining to wear myself out. I don't have enough energy to do everything I need to do; exercise, eat right, do university work, work on hobbies, and be with those who care about me. I'm starting to feel frustrated and wonder how much longer will I be like this. Could be months before I return to normal and I'm tired of not knowing what to do to help. I'm looking for any advice to take, and maybe even advice to prevent this from happening again and again.

HamSolo01 So i came to hospital today...
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Sitting and waiting to see a doctor/mental health professional. Been here before too. Last August. Hate it but it helps i guess. Sick of being passed around the systempsychologist canned my last appointment which gaves me the sh*ts. Anyway. Just thou... View more

Sitting and waiting to see a doctor/mental health professional. Been here before too. Last August. Hate it but it helps i guess. Sick of being passed around the systempsychologist canned my last appointment which gaves me the sh*ts. Anyway. Just thought i would drop this here. Peace out

SyzygyE Am I a weakling for not being able to overcome depression?
  • replies: 9

I've been fighting depression for 4 years. 4 long, dark years, seemingly longer than the entirety of the 16 years I've been alive. How happy times fly and gloomy times lingers for virtually an eternity almost borders on a cruel form of humour—a relen... View more

I've been fighting depression for 4 years. 4 long, dark years, seemingly longer than the entirety of the 16 years I've been alive. How happy times fly and gloomy times lingers for virtually an eternity almost borders on a cruel form of humour—a relentless torture cast by fate itself, toying with me and chipping away slowly. And I am close, so very close to giving up this battle. It has driven me from the most cheerful child to an empty, fragmented shell of my former self. It chokes me, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, its grip slowly tightening over the months. Even a single gasp of relief from its grasp is the greatest blessing anyone can reward me right now. It hurts. Why can't I be like everyone else? Raised by a busy, single parent I've never understood how a parent was to treat their child. What is love? What is family? These are questions I still do not know the answer to because of the neglect I received. I ended up attending high school in a different city than primary school, and left everything behind. My friends moved on with their lives and gradually forgot about me. I miss them; I miss how everything used to be. Memories are hard to forget. I became withdrawn, isolated myself and never overcame my past: because I had no one who would care. I began to think it was my friends who had abandoned me. And that has caused me to suspect people having malicious intent and I found that I can never trust anyone. I made the decision to fight depression by myself. This illness has caused some eccentricities in my personality. Perhaps it was some sort of attachment to the belief that being able to defeat my inner demons through my own will was an achievement—a kind of glory? It's also because other people have gone through much worse than me and yet still recovered, sometimes without outside help. So why can't I? I felt as if I would been seen as a weakling if I went to seek help. And so I fought. I fought as a lonely warrior in the lonely confines of his own mind. And now, after 4 years of struggle, I've had enough. I'm just . . . tired; tired of everything. This must be what true exhaustion feels like. Perhaps submitting and giving a acceptance is comfort. Perhaps my depression is just the norm now. Perhaps just embracing it and letting it become a part of me is how I am to "recover." Why should I keep fighting? There's nothing left for me to fight for. Am I a weakling for not being able to overcome depression?

SyzygyE Afraid and at a bit of a loss about the approaching adulthood.
  • replies: 2

I am turning 17 and in year 11, with just a year and a few months until I sit the HSC. It's almost amusing to think I used to be in a hurry to grow up into an adult as a child, and now wishing for the opposite. I guess it has never really occurred to... View more

I am turning 17 and in year 11, with just a year and a few months until I sit the HSC. It's almost amusing to think I used to be in a hurry to grow up into an adult as a child, and now wishing for the opposite. I guess it has never really occurred to me until recently just how short these 16 or so years have been. It won't be very long, then, until I'll have to enter the life of an adult. But I don't feel as if I'm ready to accept that. I don't have any goals or targets set in mind. I don't know what I want to do or who I want to become. I really don't hold any significant interest towards any uni courses. These few years I've pretty much sat idle and waited for time to pass. Then, I could make a decision once the time was right and such a moment for the decision to be made had reached me, not the other way around. This feels wrong. I'm studying and putting in a lot of effort, but to be honest, I don't even know who or what I'm studying for. Every time I get a good grading on my report or perhaps one of the better marks in the grade, these supposed successes feel so hollow. My school is competitive, and receiving an excellent mark will allow you to be liked and included. Perhaps I study because I just want to belong, or I'm just looking for something—anything—to do while I wait for the future. It certainly takes my mind off worrying. Underlying this sensation of worry is a layer of frustration. I've been thinking about what it is other students have and I don't, but I still don't know. They understand what kind of future path they wish to tread upon. They all seem so confident and free of doubt. A part of me admires it, but the other part can't bear to look because it always ends with me reminiscing over those worry-free childhood days I cannot return to. It feels bitter to compare then to now, but I cannot help remembering because I want to be reminded of that kind of halcyon. It's almost a sanctum to escape to . . . I wouldn't say I am so much sad or depressed that this is my predicament, but more along the lines of "at a loss." I don't really think I need to see a counsellor, because despite all that's said and done I am motivated to try and change things. I simply don't know how and that's why I am looking for advice. I wanted to seek help here because I'm sure plenty of people have made this journey and transition. How have you coped with the responsibilities and stresses of an adult? Did you encounter any obstacles or experiences like mine?

Cellfie I think my ex left me because of depression- please help...
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My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 months ago, saying he hadn't loved me for 4 months and was pretending to for my benefit, sleeping with me to 'keep up appearances'. Apparently after the breakup he struggled, but we would still talk and catc... View more

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 months ago, saying he hadn't loved me for 4 months and was pretending to for my benefit, sleeping with me to 'keep up appearances'. Apparently after the breakup he struggled, but we would still talk and catch up, but he keeps changing-we'd see each other, the next day he would block me; we would catch up for coffees, next he'd say I wasnt over him and stop talking; I found out he was dating another girl (type he once hated) and I got mad (less than a month after the breakup and she was flirting before we brokeup), he told me I was out of line, but that night unblocked me. I thought he was just confused. Now, he is dating two girls (who work together), drinking, and shut me out completely.He's become everything he once hated. We both had a medical entry exam in March- one he has been trying hard to pass for the last 3 years, whereas I passed last year. Over the summer, he was consumed with revising (the exam was his reasoning for 'pretending' to love me). I know him, and I know it wasn't 'pretend'. If we hadn't seen each other, he'd beg to see me.He said sex was just part of the act, I know that isn't true-the week of the break up he was intimate/caring. The night of the exam, he left friends to see me (he asked me over), and he kept saying how happy he was with 'us'. 6 days later he broke it off. In the weeks prior, he said I didn't trust him/had trust issues (I raised concerns over the girl), or that I thought he was dumb. During the breakup, he said that I'll appreciate his 'act' when I'M in medicine (not us). During the breakup he looked physically hurt, despite him wanting to for months. His behavior changed very quickly from the night of the exam until the split. He is very proud, he wouldn't see exam stress may be a trigger for depression. I don't know what to do now; literally he changed in a week and for 2 months he's become opposite. If it is depression, then the man I love is still there and is struggling, but there's nothing I can do Yesterday we had a fight due to my frustration that he couldn't see how much he changed; that was the worst thing I could've done, and I'm going to reach out and apologize (if he'll acknowledge me). I am going to check in every 3-4 weeks and see how things go. He thinks his behavior is completely normal (couldn't be more opposite). I'm just hoping by letting him know I still care, family might raise their own concerns Anyone have anything similar/can shed some light?

My-life-is-a-constant-Mess Am I too anxious? Is it even anxiety?
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Hi, I have always been a fairly anxious person but i never considered it that bad or a problem but people in my life say i'm extremely anxious. I cant actually tell when i'm anxious anymore its so normal but lately it has escalated and my family and ... View more

Hi, I have always been a fairly anxious person but i never considered it that bad or a problem but people in my life say i'm extremely anxious. I cant actually tell when i'm anxious anymore its so normal but lately it has escalated and my family and my school councillor and my teachers are concerned. I don't know where to start so i'll list all my problems 1. I have an intense fear of dying most of my anxiety is related to health and dying iv always been a hypochondriac but its getting ridiculous ie. chest pain = Heart attack, Wont go in water since I found out about a rare bacteria that lives in water and eats your brain and only 4 people in the world have survived, cant drive because im to scared to get in the car in case I crash and die, plane going over the house at night = Bomb or danger, scared of the beach because I dont know whats in the water, If death is mentioned I automatically start thinking about how I will die and I cant stop it happening eventually and will start feel teary and panicky I have to get rid of the thought etc. I could go on forever. 2. I have a problem with spiders, I have a process I do every night regardless of consequences or circumstances that I do to ease anxiety and stop spiders getting into my room. I check the whole room with a torch, floor behind bed under bed behind photos i even check the celling, the window frame and behind the blind. I remove the mattress to check the bed frame for spiders then I shake out all my bedding and put it on the bed then I spray all entrances and exits to room with bug spray then i build a barrier under my door with multiple hoddies folded to make my door almost air tight so the spiders cant get in, every time I leave the room at night I will repeat this process, sometimes I do it just to check before I actually sleep. Some people think this is a bit ritualistic and becoming OCDish but I don't do it in a particular order and I only do it at mums house (at dadsI room check but dont put up the barrier. I sleep with a can of bug spray and a shoe to kill spiders 3. Not sure if its anxiety. I am academically inclined but I ask all my teacher for reassurance and will check and re check all aspects of the assignment with the teacher so I know iv done it correct and if i'm over the word count I cant cut it in case I cut something good and make it worse. I cant do the assignments by myself for fear of sucking or ruining my grade or getting it wrong Am I too anxious whats going on? Help?

jords22 Did getting diagnosed help or did it make it worse?
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Hi everyone, I have this friend who feels she is suffering from depression. From research we have done she does tick most of the boxes which would label her depressed. I have suggested many times that she goes to a doctor to get checked out but I thi... View more

Hi everyone, I have this friend who feels she is suffering from depression. From research we have done she does tick most of the boxes which would label her depressed. I have suggested many times that she goes to a doctor to get checked out but I think she is scared. I was just wondering if you guys found that once you were clinically diagnosed as depressed did that help you or make it worse?