Is this a normal symptom of panic disorder?

JellicoeGirl99 · ‎17-05-2017

Hi all,

I'm quite nervous to be posting for the first time but maybe others out there will know what I'm going through.

I'm 18 and have had anxiety since I was very young with the occasional panic attack, but recently I've began to fear panicking itself and feel I've developed panic disorder. I know its not good to self-diagnose and I have already planned to get help, however in the meantime I'm finding it difficult to remind myself that I am not the only one experiencing this and it seems the more people i tell- though they are close friends and don't get told all the details- the worse I feel.

Recently its taken less to set off a panic attack- for example, knowing I'm about to go on a date and that my date could arrive at any second- and lately I've made myself anxious to the point I've thrown up. Needless to say I cancelled the date and really want to avoid the next one at all costs. I know this isn't a good coping mechanism but right now it would feel so good to not leave the house for a while.

I hate that I am letting my anxiety get to me when I should be so used to coping but I'm feeling very embarrassed about my new symptom and can't make plans without considering that it may happen again and perhaps this time in front of someone. My fears right now are that I will never get over this and eventually won't be able to leave the house, or that I'm going to embarrass myself.

It's been very difficult for me to post this, but I'm sure everyone has felt the same. Your replies mean a lot to me, so thank you 🙂

Croix · ‎17-05-2017

Dear JellicoeGirl~
Welcome to the Forum. This is a safe place with gentle people who want to help, they had all sorts of experiences to draw on. Now posting for the first time many people are very nervous, and also when waiting for a reply. Don’t worry, I think you will be pleased at the outcome.

One of the symptoms of having panic attacks is fear of having panic attacks. Sounds a bit circular but that can be how it works. It has been for me.

Unfortunately that fear, plus the underlying anxiety can get to rule your life, as I think you are starting to find. Not being able to go out on dates is horribly limiting, and wanting not to leave the house is going to be worse.

The first thing I can say is that I had anxiety, plus a couple of other things, and there was no way I could soldier on alone indefinitely. As time went on my symptoms kept getting worse until I was completely unable to cope. I’d hate you to get to that stage. It makes treatment and recovery that much more difficult.

Having had anxiety since young, and with it now progressing to panic attacks, vomiting and trying to avoid the normal things of life means it’s time to get help. In your place I’d book a long consultation with your GP and set out everything that has been happening, thoughts, symptoms, history, and what’s happening in your life now. Ask to be tested for an anxiety condition.

If you think you might have trouble getting it all out and making sense then write it down first at your leisure and share the paper - that’s what I’ve done. You may be given meds, a Health Plan, visits to a psychologist and therapy. It can be the start of a much better life, most illnesses of this nature respond well to treatment.

You’ve talked about your friends. It’s important to have personal as well as medical support. Do you have family or anyone in your life you can talk to frankly, that will care and want to help? I found this was a major factor in my recovery. If you have someone like that their support can really matter.

I’d suggest your have a look in The Facts menu above about anxiety and panic attacks, and what is effective in dealing with them. At the same time you might care to browse This Forum and see how others in your situation have coped.

We’d be pleased if you posted again and talked more

Croix

MsPurple · ‎17-05-2017

Hi JellicoeGirl and welcome to the BB forums

It sounds like you have heightened anxiety and having some panic attacks. I know first hand how terrible it is to have anxiety. I myself have GAD and feeling like you are losing yourself to anxiety is not something anyone wants. I just want you to know you are not alone

You said you are going to get help. Ways to do this include going to your GP and booking in a long appointment and getting a mental health care plan made up. This allows you to get 6 psychology session that is that is subserdised by medicare. Another option because you are under 25 is going to a youth mental health service called headspace. You can call up and make an appointment with them (they have a GP who can do the mental health care plan with you. Google for you local headspace). When I was struggling at Uni I went to a headspace because I didn't have a GP. I found the headspace staff amazing and they refereed me to a mental health nurse and a psychiatrist. When I moved I then got a psychologist. They have a range of professionals that can help with your anxiety and panic attacks and it is low cost/bulk billed. Maybe that is something to consider. I just thought I'd let you know the options.

In the mean time something my mental health nurse suggested I tried is 'deep breathing'. I used an app or breathed in for 6 seconds and breath out for 8 seconds. He also suggested trying meditation. I had trouble with racing mind and meditation helped stop my brain race and go to a more anxious place. I used an app called 'calm' but there are other apps such as 'smiling mind' and 'headspace'. Maybe give these a try. I found since trying meditation I can stop my thoughts and just feel my body in the moment.

Hope this helps. It does get better. I couldn't imagine being as well as I am now when I was at my worst. It is easy to manage with the right help and support. Feel free to get some support on the forums but please note that you should always take professional advice over forum users.

JellicoeGirl99 · ‎18-05-2017

Hi Croix,

Thank you so much for the welcome and for your reply. I'm still feeling a bit nervous just knowing my post is out there but reading what others have shared and the response they received has helped. In my stress I forgot to mention I have been diagnosed with GAD and was seeing a psychologist regularly but after getting onto medication and doing well for a while, I haven't been back for perhaps more than a year- I may have been avoiding it. Thanks to the advice and experience you've shared I've made an appointment and I don't feel as crazy as i did before...

As soon as I read your reply I began writing about and looking more into what I'm going through, I also spoke to my mum who experiences anxiety herself, and felt so much better for it.

I guess I'm just wondering if such an intense relapse is normal? And on medication as well?

Thanks again for the response 🙂

JellicoeGirl99 · ‎18-05-2017

Hi MsPurple,

Yes that is exactly how I feel at these moments and I can't seem to get perspective! I'm always sorry to hear someone knows how this feels but thank you for helping me feel less alone.

As I wrote in a reply just before this one, I forgot to mention I too have diagnosed GAD and have a psychologist but have put off a session for nearly more than a year. Thank you for the options you've provided, especially the breathing techniques. I can relate to the racing mind so I've downloaded calm and hope meditation has the same affect for me.

Thanks again for your reply and especially the reassurance that it gets better, I'm always trying to remind myself of the future since anxiety can have me so caught up in the moment.

🙂