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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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itsjaycee Bf’s SIL makes me feel insecure
  • replies: 1

I’ve been feeling uncomfortable and angry to be around my bfs sister in law which is rarely, but still when we’re both at the same event. A few years back, my bf & I just had our kid when he got a photo taken with her when he was out for a family din... View more

I’ve been feeling uncomfortable and angry to be around my bfs sister in law which is rarely, but still when we’re both at the same event. A few years back, my bf & I just had our kid when he got a photo taken with her when he was out for a family dinner which she then put it up as her profile picture. I found out through suggested friends on fb for some weird reason. Trust me he copped it but we argued about it. He says they all took photos and she also took a pic with his brother, reason being was they found that branded clothing was cool (she was in Kmart cheap clothes, couldn’t afford anything branded eg Nike, Gucci). My bf didn’t think it was a problem as he’s never had a gf but me (I’m his first). He apparently told me he didn’t know right from wrong and so on. Up until this day I don’t like her..at all over this. He has reassured me there were no other intentions. She knows he has kids and a wife (YAS ME) But what are her intentions? Am I overthinking this?

Animal_Lover Why am I so unloveable
  • replies: 1

10yrs ago my life changed and I was left with multiple medical issues/ disabilities and 6 years ago my mum became my full time carer and moved into my house with me. We've always had issues due to her abuse but she became my best friend and in ways m... View more

10yrs ago my life changed and I was left with multiple medical issues/ disabilities and 6 years ago my mum became my full time carer and moved into my house with me. We've always had issues due to her abuse but she became my best friend and in ways my life partner due to going through menopause and no one wanting me. Just over a week ago I found out she was leaving when a taxi turned up. I am heartbroken she had already blocked my number so I emailed her saying what she did hurt me, begging for her support so I can get help with my mental health and how I'm scared to loose my dogs, spending the rest of my life dirty, hungry and no one caring what happens to me. My dogs are the only thing I have left and can't even think of giving them up, they are the reason I have any reason to fight. My mum replied yesterday saying she never wanted a daughter with a disability, no wonder no one wants you, I'm already dead to her and in capital letters please do not contact me again. I've lived all over Australia, I moved out at 16, I've always been so independent but now I feel I have nothing and no one left. I can't do this life alone, I haven't even been able to feed myself or have a shower since she left, and I've been basically stuck on the couch. I feel like I'm crying out but no one can hear me. I also found out yesterday it looks like my disabilities might not be covered under NDIS because they're the wrong types but the combination is what limits my ability. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do my life is becoming more hopeless by the minute. It doesn't help I tried to reach out to a crisis line but ended up feeling even more alone. I feel so tired and weak, I just want the pain to stop, someone to love and to love me back, I want my life back, I want a supportive mum or at least someone I can turn to and rely on. I finally learnt to say I'm not ok but there's no one to listen.

ShyGirl88 Issue with my mum
  • replies: 1

I live (rent) with my mum who has very little savings and I want to move to another location which is about 5 hours away to be closer to a best friend and for a change of scenery but I know if I leave it will cause issues with my mum because she's no... View more

I live (rent) with my mum who has very little savings and I want to move to another location which is about 5 hours away to be closer to a best friend and for a change of scenery but I know if I leave it will cause issues with my mum because she's not sure if she really wants to come with me (she brought up moving closer to my friend in the first place but has since changed her mind many times) and she will struggle with finding somewhere else to live or paying the rent on current property.I'm in my 30s and just feel held back from doing something I want even before this housing crisis there was issues with my mum and I about me wanting to move out. Eventually I did for 6 years but now have had to share with my mum again because the landlord changed the lease to a periodic lease (we had the same landlord but had different houses next door to each other) and my mum got worried so we ended up moving into another property together.I'm just not sure what to do but I just feel miserable and stuck. People have said I should do what I need to do but my mum gets so upset at me when I say what I want to do. She says I don't care but if I didn't care I would have left by now. She has the option of coming with me or possibly getting someone to move in with her but she doesn't want to do that which I can understand but I just don't know what to do for the best it's making me feel so confused.Thanks for reading

Mystina HELP !! What to do
  • replies: 1

HeyMy new partner and his 9 yr old daughter disrespect me, When I first meet them I thought she was a beautiful little girl 7 then and treated her as my own. I have 6 adult kids and 6 grandkids so have experience.But then the cries when he kissed me ... View more

HeyMy new partner and his 9 yr old daughter disrespect me, When I first meet them I thought she was a beautiful little girl 7 then and treated her as my own. I have 6 adult kids and 6 grandkids so have experience.But then the cries when he kissed me and not her, tantrums actually. We would hug she throw tantrum- I was like WT !! 🫤 I would be speaking to hubby on phone when he was in shower, next minute here’s her voice saying hello !! Wow anyhow moved in with them, gave up my home for this relationship, resigned her room to be a little girls room, bought her girls clothes, took them out to Disney on ICE etc .i put a routine into place oh well it starts, she does wrong she goes to her room and the crying no tears for hours.then we have her saying rude things about daddy, drawing him naked. teacher calls me she is trying to get boys down back of oval she is 8 now, makes statements about her dad, and a lot more.then steals from me, lies are constant and stealing , from our room. Make up jewellery, trinkets, tanning lotion, money , stationary , money food omg .Dad accuses me of lying about daughter doing this.covers for her, blah blah blah.i teach her responsibility, respect etc well I thought I did .nope nearly 2 years and she still doing it.she manipulated me I think she is great then I catch her running out of our room .when caught she cries please daddy please when asked why no response just cries and acts like the victim.I have lost $100’s of dollars of items, she won’t apologise nor stop.i can not live here in peace I can’t trust her.this is killing me because WHY ? She talks adult talk she not a kid why ? We fight me and hubby over this hubby won’t acknowledge what I go through he just throws it back to me.what do I do? I have PTSD already work full time for Government 3 days at home 2 in office. every time I am not home I get back from city and she has taken my stuff broke something or stolen foods for my lunches. even when I am home working she steals in front of me then cries when caught and says I don’t know when asked why did you do this ? HELP PLEASE

BlueHeart82 Moving on, guilt.
  • replies: 4

Hi,My wife of 7 years and I separated nearly two years ago. We had been together for 18 years altogether. We have one beautiful daughter who is 5 and the centre of both our worlds. I started dating a former work colleague and friend about 7 months ag... View more

Hi,My wife of 7 years and I separated nearly two years ago. We had been together for 18 years altogether. We have one beautiful daughter who is 5 and the centre of both our worlds. I started dating a former work colleague and friend about 7 months ago and this did not go down well. My ex blames this lady for my marriage break down and everything that came with it. She hates her. We have always had a very amicable relationship due to our daughter but recently I have wanted to introduce her to my partner, gradually of course. I initially respected the fact that my ex hates this lady but she is part of my life and she wants to meet my beautiful daughter. mum current partner feels that I always put her in second place to my ex because she feels I am far too accommodating co parenting because I feel guilt over breaking up my daughters family even though I was unhappy. I don’t know what to do, my daughter is my main priority and if this means sacrificing relationships then so be it. I can see no light at the end of the tunnel, either I lose my current partner who is a fantastic caring, and loving person who deserves the best of me, it I don’t see how I can give her 100% of me when I still guilt over what has happened with my ex. My ex has just started dating and this has probably triggered me into thinking will we ever get past this and can we all be happy ? Any advice would be great as I have nobody to talk to… because everyone is involved in but sides ! I deal with people’s problems everyday in my career but I can not sort my own. Help.

struggling321 Struggling with a breakup
  • replies: 1

Gday legends, I am really starting to struggle with a break up. My mrs decided 7 days ago to call it quits on us. The reason being she thought my career came first as I did 7 extra days over time I’ve a period of a few weeks. The reason being I wante... View more

Gday legends, I am really starting to struggle with a break up. My mrs decided 7 days ago to call it quits on us. The reason being she thought my career came first as I did 7 extra days over time I’ve a period of a few weeks. The reason being I wanted the time up my sleeve so we could do a road trip to visit our families over Christmas but had this all planned as a surprise that she didn’t know about until after we split, but now she doesn’t know what to say as it feels just like an excuse to her. I fricken love her and am prepared to do anything to make us work out. I’m struggling because I could always message her all day every day, but now I feel I have no one to chat to, I’ve tried to chat to some of my mates but the subject quickly changes. I find myself checking my phone every hour throughout the night hoping for her to agree to work through it. I’m lost as I do not know what to do from here, I’ve never been through this before. I just feel lost, upset and confused. Any help would be really really appreciated. Thanks

Nanny63 Is it wrong to want my done and granddaughter to leave
  • replies: 1

I’m a single women of 60 yrs. My 33 yr old son moved back in with me temporarily 8 months ago after having issues with girlfriend and getting in trouble with law. Approx 5 weeks ago he decided to keep his 19 month baby girl here after a weekend of vi... View more

I’m a single women of 60 yrs. My 33 yr old son moved back in with me temporarily 8 months ago after having issues with girlfriend and getting in trouble with law. Approx 5 weeks ago he decided to keep his 19 month baby girl here after a weekend of visiting as her mother also got into trouble with the law. He had decided that he was going to keep her full time. I agreed at the time that it wasn’t good in her mothers home, but the issue is now, I’m so tired and warn down and I want them both out. We both work full time, but I seem to be doing all the duties of a mother. Ie drop off to day carer, pick up, meals, weekends looking after child (as he works). I just want time for myself and of course my other grandchildren. I actually cried this morning as the grandchild was a little naughty and I’m feeling exhausted. Im not sure what to do, because I do fear for the healthy upbringing of my grand daughter, my son says things like no one cares for her, but him, when I say anything. He won’t do anything about looking at other options even when I say he needs to.

Ms.Me I've been thinking...
  • replies: 5

My older brother recently told me that I think I am better than the family. So, what does one do? I have dragged myself up from the same situation they are in and it was stressful and hard work. It cost me dearly, but it was worth it. I have gained b... View more

My older brother recently told me that I think I am better than the family. So, what does one do? I have dragged myself up from the same situation they are in and it was stressful and hard work. It cost me dearly, but it was worth it. I have gained back my true self which family life stripped from me, and I've tried to help them up from their low existence by showing them the way. If there's a low form of existence, my family is in it. There's having one's path blocked so that one cannot prosper and there's being content to be failures. Can we only blame others for so much and then we have to accept part blame ourselves? I'm wrestling with this question. I think there's winners and losers in life, and winners want it all to themselves and losers aren't fighting back. I realized recently that my ex-in-laws thought themselves better than my family, but over time they have shown themselves to be no better, in fact quite the opposite. I now look down my nose at everybody. How can that be wrong when their every action scrapes the barrel? I tried lifting them out of their mess but they seem to prefer life among the dregs of existence. Who is wrong? How do we approve of actions and lifestyles that are not desirable or respectable. I can only make excuses for them until doing so shows itself to be thoroughly inappropriate. What do you do when fine people are happy to underachieve? To be losers?

idiot-husband Using paid porn
  • replies: 2

I am an idiot. Probably thrown out whole lives together away for the sake of a moment's pleasure. Not trying to absolve myself at all. The fault is entirely on me. I feel so horrible that I have done this to my wife, when years ago we had a discussio... View more

I am an idiot. Probably thrown out whole lives together away for the sake of a moment's pleasure. Not trying to absolve myself at all. The fault is entirely on me. I feel so horrible that I have done this to my wife, when years ago we had a discussion on porn and the message was it would feel like cheating. I went ad did it an now just feel so lost. I can’t even talk to her about how sorry I am, I feel I destroyed all trust in our relationship by doing this. Just so stupid, I love her so much and just hate myself. Just looking for some guidance, but I feel I have ruined everything.

pinklotus27 Relationship Break
  • replies: 1

My partner of nearly five years decided that he wants to take a break. I moved in with him into his unit after a couple of years being together and now he has asked me to move out because he wants to live alone. He does not know if he wants to stay i... View more

My partner of nearly five years decided that he wants to take a break. I moved in with him into his unit after a couple of years being together and now he has asked me to move out because he wants to live alone. He does not know if he wants to stay in a relationship with me. He wants to be alone right now. I know the reason why he decided this and it is partly my fault. I told him that I am going to work on my issues but he does not know if we continue to live together the same issues will keep re-ocurring. I am sad as we have built a life together. We have a pet dog that we have had since she was a puppy. Now that I have moved out I live further away from my job and may need to find a new job. I need to give him the space he wants and respect his decision but I miss him and our home and keep messaging and calling him. I do not want to lose him but I feel like I am.