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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Walto17 How do i apologize to a friend that i hurt
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone just need some advice.Long story short, i was friends with this person for about 4 years, we used to play xbox everynight until we had a falling out, bascially it was me and him who played all the time and then another person came into o... View more

Hey everyone just need some advice.Long story short, i was friends with this person for about 4 years, we used to play xbox everynight until we had a falling out, bascially it was me and him who played all the time and then another person came into our circle and caused a lot of drama because my friend and the other person butted heads. My friend did some childish things but i regret how things went down. Anyways, we haven't spoken for over 2 years and he blocked me on all of our social medias and it bugs me that things ended the way they did because i do miss our conversations, so i was thinking of trying to get in touch with him and saying sorry. I'm just curious as to how i should go about it. If i did message him, i wouldn't expect a response or anything but just to let him know that deep down i am sorry and would rather him know that i regret what happened instead of us never speaking and him maybe thinking i don't care about him because i still do. Any advice would be appreciated.

Von is lost Boyfriend travelling overseas for 6 months
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and it has been so wonderful. We have recently said I love you to each other and our relationship feels solid. We’ve talked about a trip he’s taking with a mate overseas for around 6 months since the... View more

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and it has been so wonderful. We have recently said I love you to each other and our relationship feels solid. We’ve talked about a trip he’s taking with a mate overseas for around 6 months since the beginning of us dating. He hasn’t booked his return flight back yet and has said a few times he might even come back early. We have three weeks left before he goes and I’m starting to feel sad and anxious about him going away. We’ve made a plan of how often to stay in touch etc and even a loose plan of meeting somewhere for a trip on his way back from Europe (might meet in Vietnam). I am pretty confident we will be fine but I’m worried I’m going to get depressed when he's gone and feel alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Mav2030 Need some advice please
  • replies: 6

Hi there, 51yr old, 30years married but it looks like I may have stepped too far this time and it's probably over. I have several issues, I'm finally starting to get help but my biggest problems are I don't/can't listen to my wife, and I always have ... View more

Hi there, 51yr old, 30years married but it looks like I may have stepped too far this time and it's probably over. I have several issues, I'm finally starting to get help but my biggest problems are I don't/can't listen to my wife, and I always have to be right. A lot of it stems from 20+ years of me thinking I was helping her with her mental health problems, when all I was doing was making hers and mine worse. Sometimes when we're arguing, I'll just blurt out stuff - sometimes I do it cause I'm sick of feeling like I'm being attacked, other times it just happens. Yesterday when she was trying to talk to me about her fears with addictions (in particular for her alcohol) for some god knows reason I giggled and told her of a time we got drunk when we were younger. This was with young kids, and I didn't even think of the ramifications of bringing it up, I just did. She doesn't remember the time, and definitely swears black and blue she didn't do it, couldn't do it but I remember it. Maybe I got the times / dates wrong, but I remember it. Right now, she's not even looking at me, let alone willing to talk - I know I've let my mouth jump in again, and I've probably sealed my fate, but if anyone else has had similar foot in mouth issues, have you got any advice? I can't justify what I said, especially knowing her background but this woman is the only person who has ever given a damn about me, and every few weeks I let my mouth run away with what's happening. This is something I'm talking about, but right now, I'm lost and afraid I can't get back.

Quiettall Rejection of my attempts to contact family
  • replies: 5

Just before Christmas 2013 my daughter had her second child, which was my 2nd grandchild. I was so excited for her but only found out after I hadnt heard from her for weeks, through her Facebook postings. This was even though I had emailed, texted an... View more

Just before Christmas 2013 my daughter had her second child, which was my 2nd grandchild. I was so excited for her but only found out after I hadnt heard from her for weeks, through her Facebook postings. This was even though I had emailed, texted and posted to her regularly leading up to the birth encouraging and supporting her and suggesting I visit her as soon as the baby is born. I'm in Brisbane and feel as if she and her brother have deliberately cut me out of their life. The only reason I can put this down to is that when their mother and I divroced back in 1991, their mother threatened that she would make sure I had no further relationship or contact with my children. I was not abusive or anything like that. I still remain caring and constantly reaching out to the kids, encouraging them, telling them how proud I am of them.It is so devastating being deliberately cut out of their lives and particularly my 2 grandchildren. I have only seen my grandson twice in his ten years, both times because I made the effort to fly down and spend time with them.

becky_1992 Cruel ex partner
  • replies: 3

Hello, I was in a 2.5 year relationship with a man who ended our relationship by telling me he never loved me and would never marry me. I feel hurt, angered, upset and betrayed as when we first met, he portrayed himself as a family man to me and I th... View more

Hello, I was in a 2.5 year relationship with a man who ended our relationship by telling me he never loved me and would never marry me. I feel hurt, angered, upset and betrayed as when we first met, he portrayed himself as a family man to me and I thought our goals aligned. He said some very cruel things like even at the start of our relationship he was ‘excited but not in love’ and even during sex he never felt strongly about me. I’m devastated. I contacted his two ex partners and was shocked to learn he said the same to them, almost the exact words. ‘I will never marry you and I never loved you’. He was with them both for 3 years each. I feel so broken, upset and fragile. Im not sure how to move on from this immense pain I feel.

mark8661 Cause for concern
  • replies: 3

My partner is going overseas for 5 weeks with her daughters. Originally, it was ment to be her and her 2 older daughters, however the ex husband has decided he wanted to tag along.It caused alot of stress for my partner to make the decision and she e... View more

My partner is going overseas for 5 weeks with her daughters. Originally, it was ment to be her and her 2 older daughters, however the ex husband has decided he wanted to tag along.It caused alot of stress for my partner to make the decision and she eventually caved and said yes to more so please her daughter. The ex husband broke up with his partner to go on the trip.He cheated on my partner twice in the past and they have been separated for 6 years. I don't trust his motivations in wanting to go, as he has said he didn't want to miss out on the trip with his daughters who are 25 and 22. I am being assured there is nothing to worry about, however the bpd and overthinking in me is another story. Am I right to feel anxious about it?

Georgyp Being Brave
  • replies: 3

Hi all,I have been with my partner for 10 yrs, and it has not always been easy. I have suffered terribly with hormonal issues for a good part of those 10 yrs , undiagnosed until recently. I tried antidepressants and every natural remedy under the sun... View more

Hi all,I have been with my partner for 10 yrs, and it has not always been easy. I have suffered terribly with hormonal issues for a good part of those 10 yrs , undiagnosed until recently. I tried antidepressants and every natural remedy under the sun to try and have some consistency with my moods. Anyway, long story short, i have felt misunderstood and blamed for my outbursts for years, I have asked for my partner to read or listen to podcasts that explains my hormonal disturbance, so he may be more understanding and not say things that trigger reactions. I asked for a separation the other day as i can no longer cope with trying to make an effort and receiving nothing in return, Im just so heart broken.I understand he has probably had enough but at the same time I feel so let down that i didn't matter enough to him to try and help and understand me. I am a nurse and a very loving caring person and only wanted to have that reciprocated from him. I still love him and I know the decision to seperate is probably the right one, but I am really struggling to maintain my courage and brave face, thanks for listening

izzy12345 Jealousy in My Relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi all I'm looking for some advice over a conversation my boyfriend and I had earlier today. I can't helo but feel a little bit like a 'crazy' jealous girlfriend. On Tuesday by boyfriend told me he was going to go to the pub with his friends on Frida... View more

Hi all I'm looking for some advice over a conversation my boyfriend and I had earlier today. I can't helo but feel a little bit like a 'crazy' jealous girlfriend. On Tuesday by boyfriend told me he was going to go to the pub with his friends on Friday. I asked him with with and he told me just old school friends. So I was like ok cool. Thursday rolls around and I ask my boyfriend again who exactly he is going to the pub with and he gives me a list of names. In the list there are two girls that I don't know. There are only about 6 people going. For some context, my boyfriend got around a far bit in high school and I know he hooked up with a lot of the girls at his school (no hate!). So I did ask him if he had ever gotten with either of the girls who were going to this pub and he said yes. He had hooked up with one of the girls two years ago. This immediately made me feel very stressed out. I feel uncomfortable that he is going out to the pub in a small group with a girl, that I don't know, that he's hooked up with before. Is that crazy? The other thing that made me uncomfortable was that he purposely kept this from me. If I hadn't asked he never would've mentioned it. He said that he purposely did not tell me because he knew it would make me stressed out, and he didn't want to stress me. I understand where he's coming from but still I would have preferred to know up front. Is that crazy? It's not like I'm gonna stop him from going or anything, the situation just makes me feel very anxious. I don't want to blame him or make him feel guilty. We had a look discussion about it and he claimed that it is simply not a big deal to him. Like I said, he was got with a lot of women so hook ups just aren't a big deal to him. Of course I understand where he is coming and I don't want to make him feel guilty for his sexual history. All of it happened before he met me so I simply can't hold that against him. This whole situation just makes me very really uncomfortable and I'm not sure how to best communicate this to him without him feeling like he has being attacked, or has done something wrong. Thank you for reading. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

PepTalk9 Losing friendship
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I have been friends with Michael for about 13 years, been friends through university and onto our lives after. He has always been a good friend but has always talked about others behind their back even people he would consider friends and has... View more

Hi all, I have been friends with Michael for about 13 years, been friends through university and onto our lives after. He has always been a good friend but has always talked about others behind their back even people he would consider friends and has at times did not respect my opinion or me. I have known his family for roughly the same time, his parents and his sister have not been the closest. The issue arises as i have been invited to his sister wedding but after she asked Michael if i should come and not because she wanted me there, i felt pressured to say yes, she asked me in person. I have always had severe anxiety and depression and it has taken me alot of time and effort to get my life together, like getting a job, getting into a relationship etc and every step of the way Michael and to some extent his sister (i dont see her often) have made remarks like "i cant believe you have a girlfriend" or "a job" but have said it repeatedly to the point of making it sound like mocking and not genuine excitement, i have asked them to stop but its obvious the lack of respect is there.My family have gotten involved and have advised that if i go to the wedding they will lose respect for me and if i dont i will lose a social circle. I do have to note the wedding is in a week.I do want to note that after an incident that happened early this year i have been distancing myself from Michael but not to the point of cutting them out of my life all together due to my anxiety and depression i have not made any friends and the friends i did make were through Michael. I guess the crux is my anxiety is going crazy on the idea of starting new in my 30's after ending a friendship of more than 10 yearsI normally see my psychologist for these issues but given the time frames now, ill see her in a month I hope this has made sense

Liya_85 Relationship
  • replies: 3

I was seeing a guy last year in October. He is going through a divorce and has a child.And he is going through a lot mentally and he is getting help. I accepted him whole heartedly and continued seeing him.Because of my poor actions one night I lost ... View more

I was seeing a guy last year in October. He is going through a divorce and has a child.And he is going through a lot mentally and he is getting help. I accepted him whole heartedly and continued seeing him.Because of my poor actions one night I lost his faith in me. I admitted that it was my fault and I will learn to handle situations differently and more with calm mind. Learning his ways and how to be with him I gave him his space, respected his boundaries and decisions and chose to wait for him. with his mental condition and trauma now he says he is having issues to accept relationships and commitment and now he doesn’t want me around at all. to add more why he is pushing me away, he says we are two different people, we have different goals in life and I have trust issues. I cleared things and corrected him saying I do not have trust issues. I believe when two people are together they do have the right to ask certain questions. I’m lost and heartbroken. I know we have so much love, care and respect for each other and my heart won’t let him go. I’ve tried to make him understand that we don’t need to be in a relationship right now and asked him not to push me away. I don’t know what else to do. All I can do is pray for him and us.