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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Rainbowdino Support
  • replies: 2

Hi guys, I’m new here and I’ve been trying to get help and support in a few things that my bestfriend brought to my attention recently but I haven’t been very successful in that. i need help with not spamming my friends with messages when they are bu... View more

Hi guys, I’m new here and I’ve been trying to get help and support in a few things that my bestfriend brought to my attention recently but I haven’t been very successful in that. i need help with not spamming my friends with messages when they are busy or don’t want to talk, but also oversharing about my family life and what’s going on at home. But I also need help with my anxiety and my eating issues

James-Coventry My wife left me
  • replies: 2

Hello my name is James, I’m 29 years old. in August ‘23 I got my married to the love of my life. The woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We planned to have children next year some time. Life was great. until about 4 weeks ago she ... View more

Hello my name is James, I’m 29 years old. in August ‘23 I got my married to the love of my life. The woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We planned to have children next year some time. Life was great. until about 4 weeks ago she said she doesn’t love me anymore and she can’t be the person that I need her to be. My whole world got destroyed. I lost my wife, my house, my dogs and my cats. She said maybe in the future we can be civil and maybe even friends. But I don’t think I can do that. I can’t watch her move on from me with potential someone else. I’m already in so much pain I don’t know if my heart can take anymore. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. I’m scared. Lost. And unsure where I go from here.

JayCee28 Separated and wanting to move town
  • replies: 2

Hi all, ( this is a bit long winded sorry)I am the sole carer of my son, his father has thoroughly damaged their relationship and my son does not want to see his dad, my son is 12 and no matter the options I give him, supervising a meeting, texts cal... View more

Hi all, ( this is a bit long winded sorry)I am the sole carer of my son, his father has thoroughly damaged their relationship and my son does not want to see his dad, my son is 12 and no matter the options I give him, supervising a meeting, texts calls or one on one time he is adamant he does not want to see his dad, and can get angry at me for asking ( I only ask occasionally not every day).My son and I have a great relationship, he feels safe with me, not his dad.Last yr my son was sexually assaulted at school by another boy, the teachers blamed my son for being in the wrong place, this boy has also verbally threatened sexual assault against my son.I have organised counselling for the trauma my son as gone through, police and education departments where also notified.My problem is my son does not want to go back to the school or reside in this town anymore, and I can understand why.Better schools are an hr away with more out of school activities for my son ( we live in a very small town).I would like to move for my son’s safety, and mental well being but as much as I try to explain to his dad that this will help our son, he absolutely refuses to accept us moving to another town, even though he knows the assault my son suffered.My ex just seems to think this will all blow over, he and I will get back together OR just expects me to take our son to his dads place and leave him there, crying or upset he doesn’t mind… our 12 yr old will just have to get used to it.My ex has exposed my/ our son to pornography as has his dad.My ex tries to manipulate my/our son to believe he matters.My ex MIL has stood at my front door at Christmas time saying my son is lying and that I’m a bad mum, and that my son only stays because he’s scared of me…The ex and his family are so toxic manipulative I just really want to take my son where he is safe and deal with one thing at a time…New school and away from the harassment from the school kid.If he wants to see his dad at any time I’ve told him I will help him any way I can in the future but I will not force him to go there .I have tried to get his dad to get counselling to learn how to engage with his son and be a better dad, he refuses.We have no court orders for parenting arrangements as my ex H just expects my son to just give in and go with him and that I should just be a caring mum and send him over there. Do you think Im doing the right thing wanting to move 1 hr away from his dad,I live in Victoria and so does he…any advice is greatly appreciated

197085 How do I break up with my boyfriend despite still loving him?
  • replies: 1

Im 23 years old, from Sydney, been living in London for the last 4 years. I’ve been with my boyfriend (who’s 14 years older than me) for the last 3 years. I’m currently the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, I’m taking medication, but it’s sti... View more

Im 23 years old, from Sydney, been living in London for the last 4 years. I’ve been with my boyfriend (who’s 14 years older than me) for the last 3 years. I’m currently the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, I’m taking medication, but it’s still a daily struggle. While my boyfriend has been as supportive as he can, I feel I can’t fully help myself whilst also being in a relationship. I need to learn how to love myself again. I’ve also had a gut feeling for the past few months that he isn’t ‘my person’ anymore, we don’t click like we once did, and our age gap makes me nervous for our future. We have been planning on moving to Sydney together on a partner visa, but I now realise this is a move I need to make on my own. Neither of us are willing to commit to a long distance relationship, and as horrible as it sounds, when I think about being single, it’s like a weight lifted off my shoulders. How do I tell my boyfriend who I still have love for, that I cant be with him anymore? Despite making promises to be together forever, fantasising about a new life in Australia, spending Christmas with my family who love and adore him. How do I let that all go, without feeling like a failure at the end of the day? I’m not sure if I’m ready to deal with the stress, sadness and anxiety of a breakup, but I know it will be for the best in the long term. thanks in advance for any advice offered.

Kez77 Help with partner with Bipolar
  • replies: 1

My partner has been on a drug medication for 30 years and I meet him 3 years ago and the medication was stable and he seemed normal and functioned normally and all seemed fine. At the start of last years his doctor lost his license and my partner had... View more

My partner has been on a drug medication for 30 years and I meet him 3 years ago and the medication was stable and he seemed normal and functioned normally and all seemed fine. At the start of last years his doctor lost his license and my partner had to go to the hospital to be get his daily medication prescription and they said they have a new and improved monthly injection and they only would give him that. Then eveything turned bad he was sick always sleeping and had massive rages, highs and lows. After giving it 3 months we knew wasn't working and his old doctor got license back and he went back to him and they put him back on the original daily tabs he use to have but months passed and still was not the same so doctor sent him to therapist and he put him on antidepressant which seem to help with the therapy as well but after the 6 weeks he saw him he went back to doctor and he put him on a bipolar medication and things got even worse. He was nearly functioning just able to go to work and then when home spent the whole time in bed sometimes days on end sleeping and was forgetful and said was ok but I knew wasn't from his actions and no self daily care and outrages rages which I was scared for my life. I tried to explain to him what was happening but was like he didn't remember what had done and said or didn't want to. He said was over feeling tired all the time so stopped taking medication and spent the last 3 months mainly in bed or verbally abusing me. I have tried to explain to him what is happening and my family have seen is and tried also but he thinks nothing is wrong. I have recorded him and begged him to see another doctor for his current seems dodgy as and only prescribes what he makes money off in my opinion for was giving him benzodiazepines on top of the other meds and that didnt seem right at all. I have thought about ringing the police when it gets out of hand and see if they can commit him to mental ward for assessment or something so can prove to him is a issue for he just blames me for everything and says I am making it all up even when work people have had issues with him and my family and still just thinks it is everyone else and he has no problem. I know the man I meet and the man he really is and this person I have tried to help the last year I don't know any other the 4 personalities I see and I am scared and don't know what to do for worried if I leave he may do something to himself or me as he has said.

Lightbulb-moment Only found out what a covert narcissist is . Ignorance was not bliss.
  • replies: 7

1 month no contact with my X.she was text book covert NPD.Once I researched it I could not un- know but the truth does not make it any easier or bring me any peace yet.I cannot stop going over 10 years of our relationship in my mind and being embarra... View more

1 month no contact with my X.she was text book covert NPD.Once I researched it I could not un- know but the truth does not make it any easier or bring me any peace yet.I cannot stop going over 10 years of our relationship in my mind and being embarrassed at all the obvious signs that it was only me ever putting in any real effort in. how was I so blind?Would really like to stop doing that but things just keep on popping into my mind.Hopefully time will lesson this happening?

becky_1992 End of a relationship
  • replies: 1

Hi every one. I am a 31 year old female. My ex partner is 37. it’s my first time using this forum, thank you for listening. I have been in a relationship with someone for 2.5 years. During this time, he always makes ‘jokes’ and ‘teases’ me about thin... View more

Hi every one. I am a 31 year old female. My ex partner is 37. it’s my first time using this forum, thank you for listening. I have been in a relationship with someone for 2.5 years. During this time, he always makes ‘jokes’ and ‘teases’ me about things. I have constantly communicated the fact to him that these jokes are upsetting, degrade me and make me feel worthless. For example, he tugged at both sides of my hips and raised an eyebrow. I have recently put on some weight. He will pat and rub my stomach during intimacy etc. I am always angry, irritated and upset lately and have been quite negative. I expressed to him how his joking makes me feel he said I was too sensitive, he’s just teasing and he can’t deal with my negativity. A big issue for us is that he can’t say he loves me. It’s been 2.5 years. He just says that has ‘strong feelings which are much more than like…. But not at the stage of love yet’ and that he has never loved anyone before. Last night I realised I can’t throw my life away with someone who can’t say I love you and I ended the relationship. He was very cold to me and implied my mental state is the thing that makes it hard for him to commit. I tried explaining that how he makes me feel leads to me being negative and low in mood. He then shut the conversation down, threatened to block me and told me not to go around to his house. I feel vulnerable right now. I know I have made the right decision for myself… but to be honest, I’m feeling upset, hurt and depressed. Unfortunately we were going on a holiday tomorrow and after I ended it, within an hour he had cancelled everything. I even asked if there was a possibility we could save our relationship by going on this holiday. He said no. I feel like I have given my heart, efforts and time to this person, only to be met with callousness and apathy. He has made me feel ‘crazy’ or ‘hyper emotional’ because I’m always angry at him. I am always angry because I am always getting put down and can’t stand it. Am I crazy here? He said he is just too ‘anxious’ to get married because of ‘how I am’. If I have been upset with him it’s just because of how I am treated. I feel alone and ask people if they have been in a similar experience and if you have any tips on how to get through this. Thank you

Jake5546 Fear of being cheated on
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, Im new here and i really just wanted to see what other people think i should do and how i could quiet my racing mind. I know I shouldn’t have but i went on my boyfriends phone last night because i always have had this ill feeling that he cou... View more

Hi guys, Im new here and i really just wanted to see what other people think i should do and how i could quiet my racing mind. I know I shouldn’t have but i went on my boyfriends phone last night because i always have had this ill feeling that he could be talking to other guys or hooking up with other guys. I went on his phone and went on X (formerly Twitter) and saw he looks at porn etc. which i dont care about because i do too but then i went to his dm’s and saw he was messaging different guys. I wanted to look at more but i just got really sick and had to stop looking at his messages but one that stood out was he said “you looking” i dont know what to say to him about it i brought it up to him saying are you talking to any guys or are you hooking up with other guys and he kept saying no but i dont know how to bring up that i looked through his phone and saw these messages.

Rails Relationship Breakup
  • replies: 1

I was in a relationship for the last 7 years, that has had its up and downs. There has been times where I felt I should have left the relationship, but I’ve stayed and worked through issues . Recently my partner cheated on me and we worked through th... View more

I was in a relationship for the last 7 years, that has had its up and downs. There has been times where I felt I should have left the relationship, but I’ve stayed and worked through issues . Recently my partner cheated on me and we worked through this in counselling and changing aspects of our relationship. 6 months on and out of the blue my partner has decided to end the relationship. He has stated that he doesn’t feel “wanted” and that “there is no passion or excitement” (we are 43 and 40). This has come as a complete shock as in the past 6 months we have made some significant changes, selling and buying houses together and making plans for the future . I have just felt so blindsided by the change and am struggling to even function in a normal way. I feel like my entire world has crumbled in front of me and I have no control over anything that is happening. I can’t sleep, eat or even think about other aspects of my life . I am also stressed over the finical situation of the relationship ending. I also am worried that it will all become too much and I won’t be able to cope at all. I don’t have any close friends or family and would be living alone. I work and love my job and this is my main purpose . Also at 43, starting or even thinking about a new relationship or being hurt again seems impossible to even comprehend. I think I’ve always had issues with rejection and mental health and it just seems like this is a lot to deal with.

tillyyyy Feeling rejected
  • replies: 1

I met a guy through an online dating app, (I have never used these sort of apps before and just wanted to see what it’s like), after he asked me for my instagram and whatnot I deleted the app. We’d only been talking for 2 weeks which makes this sound... View more

I met a guy through an online dating app, (I have never used these sort of apps before and just wanted to see what it’s like), after he asked me for my instagram and whatnot I deleted the app. We’d only been talking for 2 weeks which makes this sound even more stupid, but just the other day he asked me to go out with him for New Year’s Eve (we hadn’t met before cos I’d been away from home for the two weeks we’d been talking but I got home on the 30th). He picked me up at 6 and drove me to this nice Italian restaurant. It was honestly a really good date and he was flirting and it wasn’t awkward. We parked his car and watched the fireworks and he kissed me. We made out and cuddled and stuff for like an hour and we were enjoying it I think. He took me home and he kissed me through the car window and whatever, like it felt like he liked me, he didn’t have to do any of that if he didn’t like me. I messaged him once I walked inside just saying “thank you for taking me out I had fun” and he just said yeah same and then I messaged a little later saying omg the thunder is crazy (it was actually crazyyyy) and he just said yeah I know. I felt like something was off but I didn’t wanna say anything, so I just let him be. But last night he messaged me saying “I had a lot of fun the other night, but we just won’t work” I feel stupid. I genuinely thought he really liked me and something serious would come of it and now I feel so stupid and rejected idek. And I know it’s not his fault at all, I just feel so confused because I thought he really liked me, and he had said it too. I’m not even sure what I’m asking, just how do I get over it cos I don’t wanna dwell on it and make it a big deal out of nothing.