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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Emzxx Where do I go..
  • replies: 6

My fiancé abruptly left 3 months ago, she didn’t explain what was going on and it left me in a horrible position but somehow in her head it all made sense? mental health has always been on the cards and throughout our relationship I did mention thing... View more

My fiancé abruptly left 3 months ago, she didn’t explain what was going on and it left me in a horrible position but somehow in her head it all made sense? mental health has always been on the cards and throughout our relationship I did mention things she’s got terrible anxiety and OCD. She scared me by going to the police and we didn’t speak at all for 6 weeks, I then received a message saying she will be back at our house as per normal and this shocked me.. I said we need to have a talk before this happens and we did and everything started pouring our, we were both so sad and still loved each other very much. She tried to come back home and be normal and it just didn’t work and was traumatic for me because every time she left I couldn’t trust if she was coming back. Over the last two months it’s been a roller coaster, she’s told me she’s started seeing a psychologist and that she wants to transition home.. that never happen and now she just comes and stays when she wants. Finacially we each aren’t in a good spot and it’s been tough, she’s very irritable and can explode at the drop of a hat and I’m walking on eggshells. Her mind changes so easily and she says things that are so open to interpretation and it becomes difficult and ends in utter confusion. She’s now telling me we are just friends and that she wants to work on herself and I work on myself and we spend time together, last week we went to dinner and she stayed over and it ended in a fight because I had to bring up a couple of financial things. Shes constantly tried, she will tell me she’s just not having a good day and that she can’t talk to me, she’ll change her mind last minute, she’s always trying to process information and struggles to communicate. Things change constantly and it’s so difficult for me, I feel like I’m the closest person to her so I’m taking the brunt of her anger.. how can I effectively communicate with her and let her know even though I’m hurt it’s safe and that she’s loved without expectation? She feels pressure from absolutely anything and it’s very difficult for me to understand this. Im trying really hard to stand by her.

MisterM People at uni don't want to know me + my abusive mother
  • replies: 7

Hi, I haven't been on here for a while but lately things have been getting on top of me so I am back. I've been feeling depressed for 2 or so weeks because of people at uni avoiding me and just being unfriendly. I have tried, I say hello, I introduce... View more

Hi, I haven't been on here for a while but lately things have been getting on top of me so I am back. I've been feeling depressed for 2 or so weeks because of people at uni avoiding me and just being unfriendly. I have tried, I say hello, I introduced myself to a few people but people just avoid me, they'll walk past me and not say hello. If they see that I saw them they'll give a fake smile and their face just shows they don't want to talk to me. Or they give a hello that is cold in tone, not friendly. It's left me feeling so alone and hating myself because people don't want to know me. And I've been thinking about how my life is just aimless. I mean I am at uni and have one more year left then maybe postgrad but I just feel like it's not for me anymore. I don't know what my purpose or passion is. Also, my mother has been nasty to me lately. She keeps saying she is ashamed of me being 34, single with no kids. She is embarrassed that a couple on our street found out I am 34 with no wife and no kids after I spoke with them, it's caused her to become pretty hostile towards me. I've had enough. When noone wants to know you and dislike you at uni and also your mum is ashamed of you what does that say? This is keeping my mind off my uni work, I have exams coming up soon and cannot focus or bring myself to study because my mind is occupied with these issues I am having.

Australianbelle When he doesnt love you anymore...
  • replies: 1

So my Fiancè of three years has just told me he doesnt love me anymore. I love him so much...this hurts so bad. Weve built a life together and now it's just crumbled. I'm scared and confused and dont know what to do. I'm a full time uni student and r... View more

So my Fiancè of three years has just told me he doesnt love me anymore. I love him so much...this hurts so bad. Weve built a life together and now it's just crumbled. I'm scared and confused and dont know what to do. I'm a full time uni student and rely on his income (I cant get centrelink either). I cant drive because I'm legally blind so hes the person who drives me. This is crushing and I live in the country with no public transport so its destroyed my chances of getting a job...or even getting to uni. I cant even afford to go now. I also have no friends or family I can talk to (I have no friends in general). I built my life around him. Moved to where he wanted (where theres bo public transport) and do my best to contribute to bills (even selling my beloved pets just so I can help out). What do I do?!

Frangi14 No one knows I'm depressed
  • replies: 1

Hi First time posting on these forums. I feel tired and unmotivated most of the time and Im wondering if Im actually depressed.When I see friends and family I pretend Im ok but Im not.I have a job and when Im there I make out Im all good.At home alon... View more

Hi First time posting on these forums. I feel tired and unmotivated most of the time and Im wondering if Im actually depressed.When I see friends and family I pretend Im ok but Im not.I have a job and when Im there I make out Im all good.At home alone I feel terrible.Im 45 and feel liked Ive achieved nothing.Everyone else around me seems successful and doing things with their lives.My partner is a good man but I believe he drinks too much.I don't feel like I love him anymore and would prefer to be on my own.We have a 13 year old son together.We are total opposites and he can be very domineering at times.I have to force myself to socialize and do housework.Sick of feeling like crap

Breegirl Feeling anxious - need to know it will be OK
  • replies: 14

I have posted onto these forums already regarding leaving my husband and how I DO it Today I am extremely anxious and depressed - last week I tried to again leave him, he just doesn't want to hear it, then threatens to take everything and leave me wi... View more

I have posted onto these forums already regarding leaving my husband and how I DO it Today I am extremely anxious and depressed - last week I tried to again leave him, he just doesn't want to hear it, then threatens to take everything and leave me with nothing, lots of other stuff. He is going overseas in 3 weeks for work, I am going to pack up and move into a rental with my 2 kids, more time to do it, less traumatic on the kids and myself. I know it sounds harsh but if I try to do it now he will make it difficult. I have to 'play the game' for the moment, play happy families thinking everything is OK - I haven't been happy for a long long time, always making sure other people are doing okay forgetting about myself.....I think that is why I am struggling as this is out of my character to up and leave and I am looking for reassurance, not saying I need it but when I feel this way it is what I look for....... Has anyone else had to do a similar thing?

WeAllNeedHelp Advice very much needed for the love life and emotional state. Please Help.
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I hope you are all doing well. Here is the story. Lately I just feel a complete change in how I feel about things. I don't feel as happy with my partner and that he just stays with me every weekend to which i feel like i don't get too much jo... View more

Hi all, I hope you are all doing well. Here is the story. Lately I just feel a complete change in how I feel about things. I don't feel as happy with my partner and that he just stays with me every weekend to which i feel like i don't get too much joy out of anymore. We were getting close the other night and when he was kissing me, I just wasn't feeling it but I enjoy our sex when i am up for it. I totally feel like i am cheating on him by having a wandering mind and wanting to spend time with a male friend I have made at work to which i already have confused emotions about. I am curious yet unsure, interested because its new yet i am honestly too tired with life to start anything new and cant bear the thought of breaking up with my current partner if that's what I feel right. yet my work friend is probably moving for work in several months and can't bring myself to tell him i have a partner as i have no idea of his intentions with me. What does every one suggest? I just can't bring myself to discuss anything about my feelings to my partner yet. I'm not feeling the love as much as I did even though i think it is still there. There are also too many guilty emotions like where would he go and what would we do if i left. plus i have never needed to end a relationship in the past Someone please help, i am so confused and i just want to feel free. Plus work life (shift work ) which makes you tired as tired doesn't help Kaylee

abcdefghijk Cheated on girlfriend - I let her know
  • replies: 2

Hi all. Moved in with my girlfriend. First time out of home for me, and she has been out for a while. I have never wanted to cheat or even thought about it before, but one night while she was on a week and a half excursion I made a bad decision to ch... View more

Hi all. Moved in with my girlfriend. First time out of home for me, and she has been out for a while. I have never wanted to cheat or even thought about it before, but one night while she was on a week and a half excursion I made a bad decision to cheat on her. I was pretty intoxicated and honestly regret it a lot, but I still did it. I ended up telling her when she got back (the next day, I am an idiot I know) and it cut her pretty deep. Things were going well for us and I honestly am not really sure why I did it, I just did it and knew i would regret it while doing it...just followed the wrong brain i guess. Since I am overseas away from my close friends, I am struggling a bit with the emotional side for myself. Her and I are working through things...and it seems OK...but I guess you can never really know with this type of thing. She has been better than anyone in my position could deserve, and I am grateful for that, but I need to vent and speak to someone because I can't do it to her, for obvious reasons, and i am holding emotions in i guess. I guess any insight users on this forum have would be helpful, mostly in regards to: How do i deal with this moving forward? How can I make my partner feel as good and happy as she can? Should I tell a friend or family back home for support? I am ashamed but I think telling someone might be constructive, and helpful for advice and emotional support. Any general advice of life experience would be very appreciated! Thanks!

Rose_3 First post, very nervous and alone. Seeking to create a support base for myself.
  • replies: 9

Hi, I have anxiety and a few months ago I struggled with depression and some pretty bad physical and mental issues. I have had issues for years and never sort help and a few months ago it all became too much and I even had to pull out of studying. No... View more

Hi, I have anxiety and a few months ago I struggled with depression and some pretty bad physical and mental issues. I have had issues for years and never sort help and a few months ago it all became too much and I even had to pull out of studying. Now, I am so much better than I was. But I have little support. So this is the first time I have opened up and I am very nervous. I literally have no friends and no one to talk to. I still struggle with anxiety and I have just got a new job and I am worried about getting worse if I do not handle it well or have no support. It feels really strange for me to write these things as I do not talk to anyone about, well, me. I am really looking forward to being a part of the BeyondBlue community. It is lovely to find that there are so many caring, kind people out there. Thank you for reading this.

Shininglight Depressed husband suddenly left
  • replies: 1

My husband of over 20 years has suddenly left. We have three young children & we were a very close, fun loving, social family. My husband has struggled with mental illness since before we met & we have been managing this together over the years. His ... View more

My husband of over 20 years has suddenly left. We have three young children & we were a very close, fun loving, social family. My husband has struggled with mental illness since before we met & we have been managing this together over the years. His sudden walking out of our family has shocked & devastated us. The kids & I are really struggling to come to terms with it, our family and friends are completely shocked & saddened by it. He still sees the kids & says he's doing it to be a better dad. I have researched that it's common for sufferers of depression/bipolar to blame the relationship & the only way they think they can escape their inner pain is to leave & start a new life. That their feelings are so repressed, they fantasise about a new partner as the only way they can feel anything good. This is exactly what happened. Before he left, he was in a long depression - angry, snapping at the kids, withdrawn, unengaged & unmotivated. It was like walking on eggshells. He said he had been speaking to his psychologist about needing a temporary break from the family stress. It was a shock as he'd never hinted at something like that before. So he planned a trip away on his own for a week or so. A few days before he left he had a big night drinking (excessive drinking has always been a problem) & hit rock bottom the next morning with suicidal thoughts. The night before he left he said our marriage was a problem & 'we' hadn't been happy for 5 years!! This was the first I'd heard of it & I do not agree. While away, he made the decision not to come back. I immediately went into overdrive researching intensive therapy, writing a mental health plan, arranging marriage counselling, whatever I could basically. But little did I know after only 4 weeks he'd started seeing a friend of ours, someone we saw every week with the kids. I found out about the relationship and he turned immediately on me - rage, anger, awful manic behaviour, threats to cut finances. I'm completely to blame apparently for not looking after him. I spent 2 whole decades supporting him, forgiving all kinds of inappropriate behaviour, finding therapists, picking up medication, picking up the slack at home, loving him unconditionally. But he doesn't see any of that. He was severely depressed with delusional negative thoughts about our marriage, followed by a manic episode. Do you think he'll ever get to a point where he acknowledges & accepts what he's done & either regret it or at least show remorse?

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