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Not sure

Community Member

Im knowing what some of you might say not sure if i get it out right but here goes. Gf moved out about 4 months after 8yrs. Ok i messed up i keep getting dating sites to chat ONLY no plan to meet. Got found out everytime dumb me. The thing she didnt like was i liked xdressing and growing breast. Not interested in guys but talk dirty to them. I havent had intercourse even with my ex in a long time. So now i stress every day cry every day and being xmas no help around this time. So i scared i will mess my next relationship up so it will be easier to be dead then i will be happy. So life is not great. No friend no life time see what happen.


6 Replies 6

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Donny020572~

I'd like to welcome you here, I'm glad you came. You are facing a very difficult time and hope can seem very hard to find.

While I'm sorry for both you and your ex-GF over the breakup it may be that neither of you was expecting things to turn out the way they have. She may well have been expecting a different sort of person (not better, just not as expected) . It also may be you have over time come to discover yourself more.

In some ways what you are facing at the moment is very common - the break up of a relationship. This, as you would know, can happen for lots of reasons, and very often leaves a person with a great feelings of greif, loss, self-blame and low esteem. The mind thinks that 'if it broke up it must be all my fault'. This is pretty black and white thinking, not real life at all.

It is very easy to fell isolated, and not have the confidence to enter a new relationship, particularly if you are not sure how that relationship should be. I would think with advice and help from those with experience you will find you can be a loved and valued member of a partnership.

Can I suggest you ring QLife on 1800 184 527 which is a recommended LGBTI support organization. Otherwise you can ring our 24/7 Help Line on 1300 22 4636 and ask what organizations are the best ones to talk to. They are professional and understanding and would be able to steer you towards ones in your area.

For those times when things seem too hopeless and overwhelming and you are tempted to take your life I'd suggest the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). Life can change amazingly as I, although my problems were different to yours, have found out.

It would be great if you were to return and talk more.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Donny,

I think Croix has been very helpful!

Im sorry to hear that your relationship has fallen apart. Maybe though this could now allow you to experiment and find out who you are and what you like, You don't have to be searching for a relationship, remember that. You can simply be searching within yourself and finding out who you truly are. Relationships tend to find us when we're not looking. SO hang in there. I think it's worthwhile speaking with someone though and having them support you throughout this change as it is obviously weighing quite heavily on you.

I hope you're okay 🙂

Hi croix

I have spoken to beyond blue, qlife both said same thing see you gp. Being this time of year saw a new doc. He gave me a new physo to see the manage my anti depression. Been on the for a long time over the last few years been getting worst. Think that was part of thecreason the gf move out. I dont have friends to talk to she was it lol. So notvsure if im ment to dress or not, still working on it just hoping the new physo can help.


So ove this depression stuff can get over it makes life not so good

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Donny~

A fresh GP and psych may well be a good thing. If I understand you correctly you have been having treatment for depression for quite some time, and it is not being effective. They may have a fresh approach.

I thinkRabbit33 is right, a relationship will come along. In the meantime try to relax about who you are, if you wish to dress a certain way then do so, if you want to have breast enhancement, then OK, though please do it via a proper doctor.

The really important thing is to realize you have worth, and a lot to offer someone else. As an adult you also learn from mistakes, which makes you a wiser partner.

I hope your visits with your new psych go well.


Yes it might help. But its not at the moment

Hi rabbit

Im not sure dressing is right yet. Have to work my head out. Its not doing me any good. The weekends are really bad for me. Long time to be alone very isolated here. No friends in my life. Just me. My ex new what i was like but she moved on.

Maybe a new relation might happen im not sure if i want one cause ill mess that up aswell. Then the out come will be bad. Its bad now