Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Trusky One sided marriage
  • replies: 1

Long story short I love my wife and want to be with her however I am trying to find out a way to communicate with her with her blowing up and she turn all "right-fighter" and it ends up all being about her feelings and I get very little chance to exp... View more

Long story short I love my wife and want to be with her however I am trying to find out a way to communicate with her with her blowing up and she turn all "right-fighter" and it ends up all being about her feelings and I get very little chance to express my feelings and then I feel like a fool as I end up feeling as though I have done something wrong. She is a fantastic woman but sometime I feel she is more concerned with pleasing others and putting on the mask and dishing out valid advice than stopping and listening to my feelings. There is alot more but I am sure that will come, this isn't completely one sided and many things aren't and I do own some of the issues in our marriage. I think communication is a starting point. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Its_Just_me How do cope with a sexless marriage
  • replies: 7

I've been married for 10 years, we haven't had sex for 6 years, sometimes i cope ok, other times not at all, in defense of my husband he has had spinal fusions done, he is otherwise very loving, sweet,and helpful, and im really in love with him, he s... View more

I've been married for 10 years, we haven't had sex for 6 years, sometimes i cope ok, other times not at all, in defense of my husband he has had spinal fusions done, he is otherwise very loving, sweet,and helpful, and im really in love with him, he says he knows he cant perform properly so he doesnt try. now he doesn't even feel like sex, but the problem is, i do, and all the time, im very attracted to him which makes it worse. i feel so starved of affection, you know the playful kind that makes you feel special and comforted .. I never get that, i feel so lonely inside and im going into a depression because of it. I feel so rejected and its affected my self esteme terribly. I dont know how to get past this...

secondwife Child Support - a major reason for depression and anxiety
  • replies: 3

I'm in the second wive's club, have been married for 8 years now, to a wonderful man who I have known for over 30 year (since before I left school). I have recently taken over management of my husbands child support arrangements because it they just ... View more

I'm in the second wive's club, have been married for 8 years now, to a wonderful man who I have known for over 30 year (since before I left school). I have recently taken over management of my husbands child support arrangements because it they just destroy him and make him so depressed and since I did this I can see why! How is it possible a Government run agency is given such power to make people's lives so miserable? He has 3 kids to his first wife (nut job), all teenagers now and we have always had issues with her causing trouble, not following the parenting plan, not communicating, occillating wildly between dumping the kids on us, to withholding access. Now we have a situation where she has told the CSA that she has 100% care and our child support payments have gone beyond 30% of my husbands income and of course it is me that has to now prop up our mortgage and expenses from my income. We have them less, because they now have weekend jobs and spend time at friends places, so she doesn't actually have them more either but CSA refuses to change the assessment as we have to "provide evidence" that we have shared care. She actually owes us money that she flatly refuses to pay back after agreeing to pay 50% of costs for school laptops and won't agree to have this money owed recognised as child support contribution either. Why is CSA allowed to be so disproportionately biased against the non custodial parent? Why are step parents contributions not recognised or considered? My husband has major depression over his kids and the child support arrangements. It causes me great anxiety as well as i carry the financial burden. How have others dealt with this issue.

Zoe_L Feeling misunderstood
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone my name is Zoe and I feel a bit misunderstood by my family like whenever I have difficult things going on in my life I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my family about it as they usually just try and tell me that they get what I'm feel... View more

Hi everyone my name is Zoe and I feel a bit misunderstood by my family like whenever I have difficult things going on in my life I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my family about it as they usually just try and tell me that they get what I'm feeling and we sometimes have arguments that make me feel quite sad and alone at times. Has anyone else had the same feeling and am I crazy for having these emotions. Btw I am new.

Discobox Stuck in limbo
  • replies: 9

My husband and I have decided to seperate after 7 years. I can't say he is a bad person but over the years we have had our problems with him watching porn instead of being intimate with me, going home with two women (drunk) after his 30th birthday (h... View more

My husband and I have decided to seperate after 7 years. I can't say he is a bad person but over the years we have had our problems with him watching porn instead of being intimate with me, going home with two women (drunk) after his 30th birthday (he claims nothing happened) and just generally being a sour, negative person. He has sought counselling, but goes to one session andtakes medication for a month then stops. His drinking became an issue recently and we got into a heated arguement (while both drunk. It was the first time I had drank like that in a very long time and everything I had been annoyed about came up. He is introverted and quiet and I am the opposite, it feels like I have a son rather than a husband and partner. We are now living in the same house in seperate rooms and giving each other space to sort things out. He is going back to his GP and reorganising counselling. I just dont know if I should sit around and wait, or start moving on. Ihaven't given up on us yet, I feel like I should though. Any advice is appreciated ✌

lola_adams i’m alone
  • replies: 1

i’ve always felt alone and distant from all my friends, but recently i’ve realised i really do have no body and no true friends. people don’t actually care about me and i’m feeling so hopeless. nothing is going to change

i’ve always felt alone and distant from all my friends, but recently i’ve realised i really do have no body and no true friends. people don’t actually care about me and i’m feeling so hopeless. nothing is going to change

Frankl15 Constant Rejection
  • replies: 2

I’ve recently connected with my brother from my dads side, this was the first sort of contact with my dad and my dads family so I was excited to meet him. Over the week he hasn’t made the effort to come see me, I told him to let me know when and what... View more

I’ve recently connected with my brother from my dads side, this was the first sort of contact with my dad and my dads family so I was excited to meet him. Over the week he hasn’t made the effort to come see me, I told him to let me know when and what time they could visit as I’m studying and will be busy. I’m still trying to cope with my anxiety and depression at college but handeling it well , anyways I was looking forward the next day to see when he could come visit, no reply’s or messages. The next day there posts of him leaving town, without even the courtesy to let me know. I’ve now jumped back into my depressive state where my fathers rejected me, guys who I’ve liked and been honest with had given me broken promises and now my brother who I’ve spoken on the phone to and was finally happy that I could fix that part of my life is now abandoning me, all I keep thinking is what’s my purpose in life , I was rejected from the start so what form of happiness is left for me ? I literally feel worthless

Jas79 Help me heart broken
  • replies: 3

Hi I meet a girl back in November and she was hanging out with me and then told me she not interested but happy to still be friends, she has depression and anxiety so think she has PTSD and bipolar. we texted ever day for the last few months and hang... View more

Hi I meet a girl back in November and she was hanging out with me and then told me she not interested but happy to still be friends, she has depression and anxiety so think she has PTSD and bipolar. we texted ever day for the last few months and hangout once a week, we had planned a overseas trip together and then the other day she said she wanted to commit to me as she had been praying about it and thinks it’s right. Send me messages that she knows it right and feels loved in my arms. Came to see me yesterday to look at areas to move to a new house so she could be closer to me. She left my place and send me a message saying a hour later saying it’s not right with her and she knows because God’s put in her heart that it’s not right. We where dating for three days I’ve told my family and friends just feel gutted. She say she doesn’t want hear from me anymore or see and not contact her as it will be harrssment. I feel gutted

collegestudent101 Commitment Issues and Daddy Issues?
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I'm a 21 (turning 22) university student who has never been in a relationship. I wouldn't say that I've been pressured into societal standards into getting one but I know for a fact, that this goes beyond that. Since high school, I've... View more

Hello everyone, I'm a 21 (turning 22) university student who has never been in a relationship. I wouldn't say that I've been pressured into societal standards into getting one but I know for a fact, that this goes beyond that. Since high school, I've been in situations where I would find myself in scenarios where I would ultimately push a guy away if he showed interest in me. Weird thing is, I would be interested in that person and would converse with him, sometimes even harmless flirting (with the thought of potentially dating). But as soon as he shows the action back, I would push him away and feel disgusted at myself and towards the guy. At first I thought this was just a phase but as I got out of high school, entered university and was exposed more into the dating world...I would always find myself having the same feeling as my high school self did back then. What I find quite odd is that I know that I like this person, I could sense that our feelings are mutual but as soon as the situation could potentially turn into something "more" than just friends (and possibly some sort of commitment), I would push myself away from this person and ultimately hurt them. This often repeats itself. I don't know why I do this. For awhile, I'm thinking that this could be a result to my parents divorce. It happened at a really early stage of my life where I hardly remember anything but from that, I never grew up with a father figure...yet alone, any sort of male presence in the household. My older sister was the most affected between us & I somewhat feel bad that I don't have any feeling towards it (due to being too young to remember). Growing up, I would hear stories from my mum how my dad was a man that couldn't be trusted and I know for a fact that it's true. I figured out that he cheated on my mum several times and remarried several times as well. Could my fear of commitment and forming all these "exit strategies" be because I'm a child of divorced parents? I have no idea how to change as I find it difficult to get rid of this "feeling"... As much as I hate to admit this, I would find myself having major defensive barriers and a tendency to be jealous most of the time. My preference in men was always someone who was older than me and unfortunately I'm the type who needs constant reassurance. I feel disgusted in myself for having these traits and as obvious as it sounds, are these qualities os someone who suffers from "daddy issues" and is it too late to change?

amba3454 Family issues are making me feel confused
  • replies: 2

Hello, I'm 18 and I've had issues with my family in the past. I was a bit of a troubled kid in high school, got mixed up with the wrong people - wanted to be independent and defied my parents wishes on just about everything. That being said, by the e... View more

Hello, I'm 18 and I've had issues with my family in the past. I was a bit of a troubled kid in high school, got mixed up with the wrong people - wanted to be independent and defied my parents wishes on just about everything. That being said, by the end of grade 12 I'd straightened myself out, graduated with good scores and my relationship with my family was looking up. Since that time, I've had a few spats with them, particularly my mother (we've never really gotten along). She seems to enjoy criticising me for every single thing I do and doesn't understand me at all. She thinks I'm just some stupid kid who will never get anywhere in life. So we get into little spats pretty frequently, nothing too major. Anyway, recently I got busted sneaking back into my house after a night out. I think my main reasons for sneaking out and not just asking to go out were that my parents are very critical of my personal life - who I hang out with, what I do, where I go, it never ends. And I just wanted to have new experiences out in the world on my own, separate from my family. I know that what I did was wrong. I put myself at risk, I worried my parents and I even endangered them by leaving the door unlocked when I left for the night. What makes it worse is that I did it more than once before I got busted. So I'm not saying that I don't deserve any kind of blame, I just feel like the punishment is unfairly harsh. They want to kick me out of home and cut me off completely, disown me from the family and cut me out of the will. They say I've shamed the family name and they are ashamed and disgusted as parents. I'm a little hesitant posting this because they always say that I play the victim card, that I try and get sympathy from others and don't take responsibility. I am taking responsibility, I know it was wrong. At the moment I'm getting the silent treatment and I've been shut out, they won't even look at me and I don't know what to do. They say sorry won't cut it. I just need advice. I want to move out with some friends later on in the year but I don't want to leave things like this, but at the same time maybe it's better if I move out and become more independent, learn more about myself away from my parents?