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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Farm_boy be grateful for some advice
  • replies: 2

This is my first post on the BB site. Just wanting to get some advice on how to help someone deal with relationship issues. Two dear friends of mine are having relationship issues at present. They have two children, under 9, one with ADHD issues. Ear... View more

This is my first post on the BB site. Just wanting to get some advice on how to help someone deal with relationship issues. Two dear friends of mine are having relationship issues at present. They have two children, under 9, one with ADHD issues. Earlier this week, they had a big argument and as a result, husband decided to leave to get some time away. They are both have past issues relating to their own childhood and given that, stresses of life and jobs/homelife its reached a breaking point. They do love each other and their kids. The separation is proving very hard on the two children and i suspect on both parents. At this stage, there has been no indication of when he will come back home. I am close to both of them and sort of in the middle between the two to try and help mend the situation. Its a difficult situation for me and I'm feeling the stress of the situation with being in the middle. I want to try and help them sort out how to fix the problem, for the children and the family unit. I'd just like anyone's thoughts on what i have done so far and if you can suggest anything different to help the situation. Husband is putting up walls and is not showing signs of wanting to talk. I know he needs some space to think, etc. I suggested to spouse to make the first phone call, as opposed to sms, to firstly acknowledge she understands that he is hurting, that she and the children both love him and want him to come home to at least talk it through and work on the situation. I'm in contact with him and letting him know that I am there for him 100%, free to talk over a beer, etc and just to make sure he is OK. I've suggested 'carefully' to both of them that they should seek professional support and even go to the GP first. Being in the middle is difficult and sometimes, and I don't want this to sound bad, but you'd like to get them, shake the and tell them to 'sort it out'. But that, if feel, would be detrimental. My main concern is for the two children who are seeing their mum cry, can't understand why dad is away and are feeling the stress of the situation. I'd be grateful for any thoughts or advice or any different suggestions you may have to help with this situation. I do love them both dearly and don't want to see the breakup of the family. Thanks FarmBoy

loislane After advice please
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,i have anxiety & depression which was diagnosed 9 years ago.1 year ago my now 21 year old son was diadnosed with anxiety.He has been on about 6 different medicines and the doctor got him 12 sessions to see a phycologist which didnt seem t... View more

Hi everyone,i have anxiety & depression which was diagnosed 9 years ago.1 year ago my now 21 year old son was diadnosed with anxiety.He has been on about 6 different medicines and the doctor got him 12 sessions to see a phycologist which didnt seem to help him at all.We have no idea if he even talked to the phycologist because of his age we have no rights to know what was said.He has no job and we get no help from centrelink for him financially or he gets no help to get assistance to get a job because of his anxiety because he gets no centrelink.Ive asked doctor after doctor for help with him & no one helps.Its putting strain on my own anxiety and depression,it's causing problems with our other children because he sits in his room all day every day,he's angry all the time & lashes out,he refuses to do chores or talk to us.He will go out occasionally with his friends & drinks to the point he cant remember stuff.I feel like imsinking into the deep dark depression pit if we don't get help for him soon.I just want my son back not this angry she'll of a person

Steves_87 Re taking a break
  • replies: 1

So on Sunday my girlfriend and I kind of broke up. She’s going through a mediation process with her two daughters as the father has been an on again off again thing with his daughters he says he wants to be there in their lives but then won’t coopera... View more

So on Sunday my girlfriend and I kind of broke up. She’s going through a mediation process with her two daughters as the father has been an on again off again thing with his daughters he says he wants to be there in their lives but then won’t cooperate with and work with my girlfriend. He has caused a lot of issues with his new girlfriend basically the last five weeks haven’t been the best with my gf and I it’s been up and down as she’s struggling mentally dealing with the girls day in day out working and all this mediation process she asked for space 5 weeks ago to deal with things so I respected that. But because of her mental state we have had periods where we both have a miscommunication and silence between one another. We don’t live together it’s a long distance relationship. I myself this year have gone through a marriage breakdown and meeting my new girl was a breath of fresh air. Things have gone absolutely amazing between us we were finally both moving forward with our lives and finally finding happiness. I mean this girl is like no one I’ve met before we can talk for hours and we don’t run out of things to say we are so comfortable with one another I’ve taken on a step dad kind of role with her daughters which I’ve absolutely enjoyed and we’ve just grown in our relationship but Sunday just gone she decided that with everything going on it’s just too hard to continue to be with me right now when she can’t make me a focus. She did say we would try again once things settled down but that still doesn’t make me feel any better. Last night I was feeling very off to the point of ending things very anxious I just want things to be right between us. I guess we are still friends for now we havent spoken since Sunday I kind of went off at her didn’t say hurtful things or that I over reacted I needed to place my self in her shoes and what she’s going through she’s trying to do the best by her girls and make sure they are safe I get that it’s just a hard pill to swallow right now when all I want to do is be with her and tell her how much I love her and she wants the girls mean to me. Because of what I’ve been through this year this happening has triggered all sorts of things in my head like I’m back to square one like I’m not mean to be happy I feel like I’m being punished constantly. Should I continue to support her she give her some space I don’t know what to do I need advice please.

yellowpostit Jealous of everything
  • replies: 6

Hi I lost my dad very suddenly last year when I was six weeks pregnant. I had to fly overseas for his funeral and I handled the situation really well and was extremely strong throughout the whole thing supporting my sister and mother. It was one hard... View more

Hi I lost my dad very suddenly last year when I was six weeks pregnant. I had to fly overseas for his funeral and I handled the situation really well and was extremely strong throughout the whole thing supporting my sister and mother. It was one hard year and I came out well out of it and had my baby boy early this year. I experienced the normal post natal emotions but was fine. Recently though my grief has just erupted and I can't bear looking at my fathers photo without crying and I have so much self pity. I hate existing and I'm very jealous of people who resented me but have good lives. Particularly my brother in law with whom we do not have speaking terms. I'm incredibly jealous of his wife who is also expecting, has both her parents and how they are coming to visit her for a year. I constantly check their FB profiles to look for updates and I even have panic attacks when they change their photo which makes me think how happy they are. They do not talk to us due.to some.family issues. I compare the hell out of every detail on their lives to mine, I wish bad thoughts for them, I curse my dad for leaving is early. I cannot confide to my husband because I sound so stupid and our.life is perfect except.that my son does not have any grandfathers. Why am I obsessed? I just want to get out of it but I feel like I'm in a trap.

Livvyloo Dealing with a narcissistic ex boyfriend/ father of my son
  • replies: 3

I need some advise on how to deal with a narcissist. He is tearing me down and I don’t know how much more I can take, I’m trying to stay civil and friendly for my sons sake but I just don’t think I can do it any more

I need some advise on how to deal with a narcissist. He is tearing me down and I don’t know how much more I can take, I’m trying to stay civil and friendly for my sons sake but I just don’t think I can do it any more

Jet81j Feeling trapped in a one way relationship
  • replies: 4

I've been in a relationship for about 5 years but it's basically come to a end now. I've put everything into this relationship and I have nothing now. She has only talked down to me for years and just has no respect for me. She knows I have no where ... View more

I've been in a relationship for about 5 years but it's basically come to a end now. I've put everything into this relationship and I have nothing now. She has only talked down to me for years and just has no respect for me. She knows I have no where to go and no money because she has put me in that situation and kicked me out on the street a few times now where i have to just sleep in my car because I've got no where to go. Family are too far away. To add to things I've been working for her for the last 4 years so if I ever left I'd have no job and wasn't getting paid more than $250 a week for the last 2 years because of the business situations which I was happy with because it was for us but really it was just for her. We have a daughter together, she means everything to me and I'd do anything to keep our family together but I feel like I'm just a fool for staying. No one I've talked to say they would put up with this and I need to look after myself but every time she says come back I'm straight back. I just don't know what to do as she's just using me to follow her dreams and keep her business a float.

Guest_920 Feel I'm unable to date because of mental health
  • replies: 5

Hello, I'm a 29 year old female and am feeling quiet depressed about this at the moment. I have tried dating for the past 5 years after a 2 year relationship ended (got cheated on). I have done alot of online dating and meetups and just haven't had a... View more

Hello, I'm a 29 year old female and am feeling quiet depressed about this at the moment. I have tried dating for the past 5 years after a 2 year relationship ended (got cheated on). I have done alot of online dating and meetups and just haven't had any dating scenarios where things get past a few months at max or 1 to 3 dates. I feel so much rejection from it all as I'm always the one getting dumped in one way or another. Recently was seeing someone and was talking about us both not dating anyone else then he just stopped contacting me even though we asked to see me that week then cancelled. I msged him to find out his not ready to date and many other reasons. I'm still feeling devastated and it feels like a groundhog day with every person I meet. Even if i meet someone I get so anxious with them cancelling and things going wrong it then happens anyway. I'm looking into dpt therapy and seeing a psychologist but I feel so trapped in my old ways I don't know what to do. I always have plans on making changes and I just don't stick to them. I have stopped using dating apps in the past month as I feel I had an addiction but still feeling depressed about it all. I feel stuck in every sense of the world. I know everyone keeps saying I need to have a complete break from dating for a few months which i'm trying to do but I really feel alone. Can anyone please advise or if you have similar situations?

Orowan My partner travelled to see me and now that he has left I'm in real pain
  • replies: 3

since our culture forbids us from having an unmarried relationship, we've been spending our time together online or on the phone although we were in the same city. We did meet once or twice there and gifted each other on birthdays etc, but no real co... View more

since our culture forbids us from having an unmarried relationship, we've been spending our time together online or on the phone although we were in the same city. We did meet once or twice there and gifted each other on birthdays etc, but no real communication like normal couples face to face. Anyhow, I travelled abroad to study. the time difference made it even more harder for for us. he asked me if it was okay to travel to where I am to see me and spend some time together, I was thrilled! It took us months to decide when he's going to come -all due to my studies plans - anyway, during this time, I met a guy here and I started to see him, I had my first kiss with him which made my partner feel really broken but he didn't even get mad at me, he was just disappointed but still loves me, which makes me hate myself. Despite all that, he booked a flight and spent more than a day flying to see me, we had a wonderful holiday together I loved him even more seeing how a gentleman he was. after all, it ended and he had to go back. It broke me really bad, I started tearing two days before he leaves, and on the day he left I cried like a baby. now that he's gone, I'm in a lot of emotional pain, unmotivated and hate my daily normal life and hadn't eaten for a day, I started to reanalyse my feelings towards him, is it real love? or is it just strong unhealthy attachment? was my reaction normal? Should I seek help in order to reduce my attachment and rely more on myself? It feels like I don't want to live without him which is really frightening, I don't know if it is normal because he just left or it is a sign that I need help. I should mention that I struggled to find friends here abroad, sometimes I'm not very good socially and when I find friends they go back home after a while, so I rely a lot on him socially and I don't know if that is the reason behind my strong bitter feelings.

DaffodilDarling Dealing with loneliness and pressure?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I’m a little anxious about it. Honestly, I’m just hoping for a bit of advice/tips for dealing with loneliness and the pressure that I put on myself regarding relationships and friendships. I’m 21(F) and hav... View more

Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I’m a little anxious about it. Honestly, I’m just hoping for a bit of advice/tips for dealing with loneliness and the pressure that I put on myself regarding relationships and friendships. I’m 21(F) and have struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. As a result, I have few close friends, and most of those have moved away and/or are in romantic relationships and have little time available. I’m also single and very self-conscious and inexperienced, which further feeds my anxiety and belief that no one would be interested in me romantically and especially not once they realised my lack of experience. I guess as of late I have been feeling very insecure about all of this, and as though I am behind in life as everyone I know is in relationships, socialising and moving on whilst I am staying the same. How do I ease up on this pressure that I put on myself, because it’s weighing me down? Thanks so much in advance, DaffodilDarling

Brenton5K Alone again- not feeling good
  • replies: 13

This is my first time at the site and my first post. Before writing, I read through several topics and threads that seemed to match how I am feeling and it left me thinking that there are people dealing with issues that seem way more difficult than a... View more

This is my first time at the site and my first post. Before writing, I read through several topics and threads that seemed to match how I am feeling and it left me thinking that there are people dealing with issues that seem way more difficult than anything I have experienced and that I should count myself lucky with my lot in life - and I guess that is true. But I can't get passed how I am feeling at the moment. I have never married, had kids and our family was never close. For the most part of my life I have lived alone but enjoyed a good social life but as I got older this slowly faded away. Over the last 2 years I rented out my spare room to someone who I got on really well with but today he told me that he is moving out and I will be on my own again and it has left me feeling so low. I am near retirement age and I am thinking that all I have to look forward to is a lonely life when all I really want is someone be around. The more I write, the more I think I should just pull myself together and get on with things - which is what I have done in the past, but this time it feels so much worse and I don't know why. I guess I am not as good at rolling with the bumps and hurdles as I used to be. There is a lot more I could write but I think thats enough.