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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Bestha Bestha
  • replies: 1

Hi I am feeling very lonely these days even I am with my husband and I feel like something missing. I don't know how to make myself happy and nobody is trying to understand me.When I express my feelings to others they were like nothing has happened t... View more

Hi I am feeling very lonely these days even I am with my husband and I feel like something missing. I don't know how to make myself happy and nobody is trying to understand me.When I express my feelings to others they were like nothing has happened to you, you’re perfectly fine and you are just overthinking it.I stopped telling my feelings to others.I have difficulty in making friends and I don't know where to find them.I feel like I may die of loneliness and sadness one day. I loosing hopes in my life and I am not able to imagine my future. All I want right now is to be understood, to be loved, to be supported, to be able to enjoy my life, to be happy Could you please suggest me

Confused_Unsure I think my Dad is in the closet
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I’m in my late 20s and my Dad is in his early 60s. I am 99% sure he is either bisexual or gay (which doesn’t bother me if he is). I’m concerned as I think he is struggling with his sexuality/scared to tell anyone and I’m also concerned abou... View more

Hi there, I’m in my late 20s and my Dad is in his early 60s. I am 99% sure he is either bisexual or gay (which doesn’t bother me if he is). I’m concerned as I think he is struggling with his sexuality/scared to tell anyone and I’m also concerned about his mental health. He and my mother have been married for over 30 years and I’m not sure whether she knows or not? I found out as I stupidly went through his phone when I was younger (which as I’ve matured and realised my parents are also adults and entitled to privacy was a big no no). I also saw he was taking medication that prevents HIV infection. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about this or my dad for a few reasons so just wanted some advice. 1 - I’m worried about both my mum and my dads mental health. I think my mum knows deep down but she would never say anything and would suffer in silence and the same with my dad. 2. I’m worried my dad may possibly be using illicit drugs cause he seems to come back to my apartment and has glassy eyes, looks high etc. It’s starting to impact on my life as well and so now I feel like I need to step in but I don’t know if I should? It all seems to be getting worse and I dunno who to talk to.

Aspie_Sam 34 year old trying to move out of my comfort zone
  • replies: 3

Hi all,First time posting. A bit about me. I'm a 34-year-old man with high-functioning Asperger's syndrome. When looked at from the outside, my life would seem pretty good. A nice job with a decent salary, maybe not the role I want but with a pathway... View more

Hi all,First time posting. A bit about me. I'm a 34-year-old man with high-functioning Asperger's syndrome. When looked at from the outside, my life would seem pretty good. A nice job with a decent salary, maybe not the role I want but with a pathway to it, a decent studio apartment in a wealthy suburb, a loyal dog to keep me company, and loving parents. Unfortunately, I have a lot of social anxieties. I have one close-ish group of friends who I text with on a regular basis and might see once a month if that and other individuals that I would catch up with at most twice a year. I've never been in a relationship, there were a couple of people that were close but I just couldn't seem to make the next step before I eventually lost contact for one reason or another (them moving overseas, me changing jobs, etc.). My weekend plans usually consist of my parents taking me and my dog to a park (I don't have a driver's licence) and then myself just playing video games or other non-social things around the home(on the plus side, building up a sweet collection of lego sets). I have a meetup that I go to on Thursday nights but I tend to focus on the activity rather than the other people. Because of all this, I feel that I don't look forward to the weekend the way others do as I don't really get any social interaction, and then it's back to work again. I want to be able to stop this cycle but I feel so comfortable with it. I seem to have a counterargument for every possible opportunity. I'm sure there are others on here that have been in similar situations, how did you deal with it?

Krissage BPD breakup
  • replies: 2

Hey guys,So I recently went through a long distance relationship just over 4 intense months with someone who has bpd. I myself have bpd also and this relationship impacted me like no other. I felt sick with jealousy (polyamorous) to the point I was a... View more

Hey guys,So I recently went through a long distance relationship just over 4 intense months with someone who has bpd. I myself have bpd also and this relationship impacted me like no other. I felt sick with jealousy (polyamorous) to the point I was actually vomiting. When we broke up it was confusing and they begged me to wait for them to be better and come out of the ward. When they came out they have been distant and I'd be lucky to get one message a day. I thought I had moved on but when I see their tiktok and feel sick again, they are flirting with someone new. I try talking to them but they ignore me. How do I move on

dirtbiker Struggling with relationships
  • replies: 19

Hi everyone this is my first post and I only just signed up so I don’t really know what to do. I’m a girl (she/her) btw. I struggle with anxiety, ocd etc. In 2019 I met this guy I really liked we’ll call him J and he was in the grade above me but we ... View more

Hi everyone this is my first post and I only just signed up so I don’t really know what to do. I’m a girl (she/her) btw. I struggle with anxiety, ocd etc. In 2019 I met this guy I really liked we’ll call him J and he was in the grade above me but we where in the same classes. In 2020 I saw him but never really spoke to him anymore and I still liked him. In 2021 I didn’t see him at all as he was at another school and I had no contact with him. This year I’ve been seeing him daily at school and I emailed him pretty early in the year and I got his number and we where talking as friends. Than he randomly stopped messaging back and we haven’t texted in months. There was only one person who knew about him (my best friend) and she informed me that he just randomly added her on Snapchat (I don’t have any social media btw) so she was trying to make me jealous and making fun of me. I thought this sounded weird as he didn’t even know her and the truth is she emailed him asking for his Snapchat. I feel very mad at her and I feel betrayed I just feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore. I also really wished I had guy friends and I thought J was going to be friends with me and I don’t know what to do about anything. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’ve probably missed some information but thanks for reading.

LifePF Trust Break
  • replies: 2

Hi Guys,I am completely broken and feel to cry all the times. I am really depressed and feel no one is here for me. I love my husband from core of my heart and we are married from last 14 years...we have lots of ups and downs but I always tried to be... View more

Hi Guys,I am completely broken and feel to cry all the times. I am really depressed and feel no one is here for me. I love my husband from core of my heart and we are married from last 14 years...we have lots of ups and downs but I always tried to be there for him and accepted him, thinking one day he will fall in love with me but it never happened. For him, his family is his first priority and he can even beat me if I raise any concerns. He support them by all means...transfer alot of money to his brother and never tell me. If I ask him anything he hides and denied like he never did anything for them. He does send money to his mum...which I believe is OK as she is his mom but still he never mentioned me any thing. Even some time he has to, he will tell me when already he sent some gifts but that too very occasionally. I feel bad as he behaves like I am not part of his family ...and he keeps on manipulating things and argue will me if I ask him anything Sometimes I think I maybe wrong if he is not telling me anything but I really feel bad if he has done something but lies to me ... Please please please...I beg ...need advise if I am overthinking ...I am getting broken and feel to cry as I love him unconditionally and he don't feel to share his things with me...I am really hurt with all these and now can't control my self...feel like I am a useless person in his life...

trying_to_improve Anxiety and relationship ending
  • replies: 9

Hi, this is my first time posting. I (24,F) have struggled with anxiety and depression (unknowingly) for most of my adolescents and adulthood. I had been struggling for the last 3 months with anxiety, but not realising how bad it was impacting me. I ... View more

Hi, this is my first time posting. I (24,F) have struggled with anxiety and depression (unknowingly) for most of my adolescents and adulthood. I had been struggling for the last 3 months with anxiety, but not realising how bad it was impacting me. I have lost focus with my work, I attributed a lot of this to work demands and deadlines, but now that those deadlines have past and my work has taken the pressure off me. I have seen that I'm still struggling, I have been having panic attacks etc.. About 1.5 months ago, I got black-out drunk with friends (I think I drank excessively so I wasn't feeling anxious around people). That night, I was verbally abusive to my partner, saying horrible things about him and also saying how he doesn't love me, or could never love me because I'm such a horrible person. I have seen a psychologist, and learnt that I have a core belief that I'm unlovable. But, to add to this core belief - my long-term partner of 5.5yrs has broken up with me. He said after the hurtful things I had said that drunken night, he just couldn't be with me anymore. He said that I need to be by myself to get better, and that I need to deal with my anxiety myself. He said he couldn't emotionally support me anymore, he said that my constant questioning of his love has strained him. He felt like no matter what he did to show me he loved me, it wasn't good enough for me to feel loved. He also said he needs space to sort out his own issues (he suffers from anxiety as well).I feel horrible about this because in the past he had shown compassion, empathy and love when I was struggling. I tried to tell him that it wouldn't always be like this, and that once I went through therapy things would improve. He expressed that he didn't want to 'burn bridges', and that he wanted to remain friends and maybe in the future we could see where we're at. I don't understand why he would say that, if you wanted to end things, wouldn't you want to remove that person completely from your life?I constantly spiral thinking that this wouldn't be happening if I hadn't of gotten drunk that night and said mean things to him (which I don't remember what I said). I have very few friends or family that understand, everyone else has their own issues, and I'm burdening everyone. I want to get the love and support from my ex-partner, but I know if I do that it isn't respecting the time/space he asked for.How can I love myself again?

lilaclovee Careless night with consideration to abort
  • replies: 5

We decided a near five years ago to get ahead and pursue studies / apprenticeship to get ahead. We had well jobs but wanted more and knew we needed more in terms of getting ahead. In the midst, we found ourselves pregnant. A surprise and unplanned pr... View more

We decided a near five years ago to get ahead and pursue studies / apprenticeship to get ahead. We had well jobs but wanted more and knew we needed more in terms of getting ahead. In the midst, we found ourselves pregnant. A surprise and unplanned pregnancy but we welcomed it whole heartedly and it still brings tears to my eyes because I feel so blessed to have my now healthy, near 3 year old son. Was it a struggle, absolutely! No one plans to become a mature age student and then start a family. It’s been a tough three years, with covid, one income, cost of living, increasingly inflations, petrol prices etc we’ve only managed to just get on by, with little left over and been unable to save but we’ve done well to never miss a bill and always been able to pay out mortgage. Next year was our year to get ahead! At last! Finally get a new car, I drive the same car I purchased when I was 22 and it’s a Golf, a good car but far from a family car. I am a student nurse and during these years of studies I’ve also been working casually but out of work when I’m on clinical placement, which is a huge stressor, full time hospital hours which means no pay (we don’t get paid) and in a negative because it essentially costs me to be there, loss of income due to ceasing casual work, petrol, parking, food and casual day care costs. We we’re at the end of the marathon and what happens, I’m pregnant!!! This was not in our plans at all and it feels different, I don’t welcome this surprise as I did with my first and that alone brings a lot of sadness and regret to my heart. For most young families, times are incredibly tough and strained, is it a smart or a heartless decision to propose the idea of an abortion due to finance and career ? We can’t even afford to buy a family car until I’m working again, as we evidently need two incomes, our couch is haggard, fitted sheets are torn and we are strained. My partner supports my decision regardless but I know he is feeling the strain of carrying us for a near three years and I don’t blame him, it’s been very tough. I’m at a loss and feel sadness, is it okay to think these things that money and somewhat career is a factor. I just want the best for my family and mentally, I don’t think I will cope, I never planned to be a SAHM too and I feel inferior

FiveSeasons Decision making around termination / abortion in a stable relationship
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, I am ten weeks pregnant with a completely unplanned fourth baby and we are struggling immensely to make a decision whether to proceed or terminate. We thought our family was complete, especially from my husband’s perspective (# 3 was alr... View more

Hi everyone, I am ten weeks pregnant with a completely unplanned fourth baby and we are struggling immensely to make a decision whether to proceed or terminate. We thought our family was complete, especially from my husband’s perspective (# 3 was already my desperately wanted “extra” baby). Our marriage is solid, but we have little to no support in Australia and we both feel stretched thinly as it is (financially, emotionally, physically and in terms of time and energy). Our youngest is 2, and we were just beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel and as though we might have actually survived the choppy seas of early parenting. This news has thrown us completely off course and we’re still at a loss as to what decision is best for our family after knowing for 5 weeks. We fear another baby could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. It would obliterate any chance of getting my career back on track after so much time off / part time, I don’t cope that well with the stress, chaos and frantic pace of our life as it is, and although he is a doting father now he found it increasingly hard with each baby to be present and engaged in the newborn period. We each have gone through periods of depression and anxiety to varying degrees over the past seven years. BUT we love our kids to the ends of the earth and know we would love another. The stress of the decision is crushing me. I go back and forth on an almost hourly cycle, it’s impacting my work and ability to function as a Mum. Hubby says he will support whichever decision I make, but we’re both concerned that both choices have the potential to make or break our little family. Having the baby would set us back in our life plans, and feels like we’d be starting this crazy overwhelming phase of life again, but I’m not sure if I would cope long term with the guilt and doubt of terminating. How do we make this impossible choice? We are running out of time and I can’t continue functioning this way. I guess I’m hoping for some personal experiences of how people worked through an impossible emotional decision and came out the other side with some clarity and confidence in their choice, if that’s even possible?!

Kim3 Setting Boundaires with Teen-Result may mean they have to move out of home.
  • replies: 5

Hi, I have been on a 4 year journey with my now 17 year old. We have been through alot including, leaving school, supporting him and his pregnant girlfriend and then young baby (not my son's baby), drug use, mental health issues, him moving out of ho... View more

Hi, I have been on a 4 year journey with my now 17 year old. We have been through alot including, leaving school, supporting him and his pregnant girlfriend and then young baby (not my son's baby), drug use, mental health issues, him moving out of home to another town. Without getting into it all but that is a quick overview. Currently, my son is staying with me and my 2 other children aged 7 and 9. My 17 year old is currently not working, studying and doesn't do much with his time. I am struggling with this as I have boundaries around drugs and behaviour which I have spoken to him about. He has started vaping and yesterday sat in my car vaping while I was at an activity with my other children. I was quite upset as he know how I feel about this, he didn't seem to care about my boundaries and we were all about to get in the car. I appreciaite that this may not seem like a big deal but I have alarm bells going off everywhere due to previous experiences! I feel like I want to say to hime-Work or study or you can't live with me. This may mean he goes and couch surfs..I am a single mum and have previously felt unsafe around my 17 year when he gets upset and don't want to be in this situation again.. How do you put boundaries in place if that means you feel liek you are puching your child away? Hope that makes sense and thank you for your reply.