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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Ej40 My left me and im really struggling.
  • replies: 3

7 days ago my wife left me and it has been really hard on me. My wife has a 8 year old from previous relationship and I class her as my daughter she called me dad and we have a great connection we only been married 12 months out of a 2 year relations... View more

7 days ago my wife left me and it has been really hard on me. My wife has a 8 year old from previous relationship and I class her as my daughter she called me dad and we have a great connection we only been married 12 months out of a 2 year relationship. Though it's hitting really hard im really not coping cry daily nights are worse I still live in the house and all her stuff is still here as well so lots of memories around me. My wife said I need to heal I have issues and she is also healing im currently speaking to a mental health person to help with my issues. I have bad anxiety issues which is not helping my current situation I really want to work on our marriage because this is my first marriage and I'm 40yrs old so I gave it my all and now I feel I failed our marriage and feel lonely lost hurt guilt I really love this woman and I have said I will do anything to work on our marriage but she won't try councillors she just says I have to heal and find myself again and I have no idea what this means.how do i stop thinking about her and help myself I'm very concerned for myself because just when I think im starting to get better I hit bottom again over and over the only contact I have with her is via email and I try to give her space but it's so very hard to not email constantly and i cant just stop caring loving the woman of my dreams I really don't know how to get through this how to be strong and push through the pain especially when I'm still in love with her.

car10001 needing someone to talk to (am ok however)
  • replies: 8

hi am needing someone to talk to but otherwise am ok. wondering how you would meet a girl and find some friends similar age. a friend and her partner dressed up to go somewhere for a weekend & thats one thing that made me think about how much am want... View more

hi am needing someone to talk to but otherwise am ok. wondering how you would meet a girl and find some friends similar age. a friend and her partner dressed up to go somewhere for a weekend & thats one thing that made me think about how much am wanting the girl and some friends. also as some of you may or may not know the sister is seeing someone and travels to adelaide once a week/fortnight to see the friend and its making me miss the trips to the adelaide hills that use to drive up alone and its reminding you that you have no one and how much you want things to change. am wanting a girl to hang around with now and then and some friends and be able to drive to more places and do small road trips and wondering how do you find a friend and some friends. the cousins have now got own families and now really only go up with someone for functions and miss travelling alone which is reason for wanting friends to go see and a girl and other friends. the uncle got sick and car that had at time came up to that time as a daily where it started having lots problems and now that have got a different one am wanting to do it and have no one else. how do you get someone to introduce you to people. plus dont live alone to have the independence that the cousins who have own houses do. how do you get the independence they have with their own houses but while still living where you are until you can get your own house which some (myself included) are waiting until they can buy their own place. how does someone on low income or pension afford to buy their own place and/or cover living costs as it seems there is only enough income from that alone to cover living or having a life and if you were to have your own house which renting is only option and want to wait until am able to afford to buy theres not much left to have a life and save by time you cover all your bills. what can be done about the friends bit until youre able to have a job that works closer to office hours with maybe a very occasional saturday or something. am at that stage in work life and just trying to do the best until place of work sells. have accepted its time for everyone to move on as sad as it is thanks

Jellybean2005 Bit lost with teenage daughter
  • replies: 2

Single.mum with 17yr old daughter who has increasingly been so spiteful verbally with rudeness,ungrateful statements, speaks to me with such venom and nastiness about the most tiniest things. High achiever and switched on but the verbal assaults are ... View more

Single.mum with 17yr old daughter who has increasingly been so spiteful verbally with rudeness,ungrateful statements, speaks to me with such venom and nastiness about the most tiniest things. High achiever and switched on but the verbal assaults are increasing and lack of empathy has left me lost. Did i bring her up to be too strong and confident? Recently halted our holiday by leaving early morning,no notice, gets on a plane and back to Sydney.I wake to find my daughter gone. Im horrified. She is safe and goes home but still.has no acknowledgement for her inexcusable actions.

LittleJules Single Parent and no friends
  • replies: 7

I'm a single mother to a 7 year old. I have no friends and I'm lonely all the time. I work full-time and weekends/holidays can be lonely. I joined a social engagement site, but they tend to meet up in the city which is an hour drive from me. I have a... View more

I'm a single mother to a 7 year old. I have no friends and I'm lonely all the time. I work full-time and weekends/holidays can be lonely. I joined a social engagement site, but they tend to meet up in the city which is an hour drive from me. I have asked for closer meetups but I don't get a response. Anyone want to chat?

Rogger What is a romantic relationship?
  • replies: 4

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than... View more

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than mere friendships or even family relations in some situations, with people describing them as their "other half". However, this made me curious, I understand that marriage is a bit different, but at least in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, I personally struggle to understand how this is fundamentally different from a friendship. I understand that in mostly physical relationships, partners might be little more than acquaintances, but in a romantic relationship, wouldn't your boyfriend/girlfriend be essentially just a friend who you are attracted to, and who is also attracted to?

Farmers_wife Second place to the farm
  • replies: 4

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat ... View more

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat pack robes still in boxes from about 4 years ago, hubby won't fix bedroom until new cattle yards are built. Bathroom is revolting with paint peeling off the uneven walls but can't get any tradies here for at least 12mths so hubby says book one in & when the time comes we'll see if we can afford it. Our dream home came up for sale in 2022 but we were 60k short because we bought a baler on finance on accountant advice. I fear we're stuck in a very old house that needs a lot of work for the rest of our lives. I'm absolutely fed up with feeling like me & the house are second fiddle to the farm. Every time I bring it up we end in an argument & there's no one nearby I can talk with coz it'll get back to hubby & cause more arguing. I'm even questioning whether I should be leaving him & making a new life for myself. Doesn't help we never get a break unless it's shopping or medical related

CH14 Lonely & confused
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m a young woman (mid-20’s) who’s struggling with feeling insecure, unmotivated, sad and lonely. I know how it feels to be low. Recently, my best friend got a new best friend, and it’s left me feeling extremely isolated. My boyfriend has also di... View more

Hi, I’m a young woman (mid-20’s) who’s struggling with feeling insecure, unmotivated, sad and lonely. I know how it feels to be low. Recently, my best friend got a new best friend, and it’s left me feeling extremely isolated. My boyfriend has also distanced from me. I find it hard to vocalise how I feel. I feel a lot of sadness and pain and anger, but I also feel nothing. I hate who I am as a person - how I look, how I feel, my lifestyle. I try so hard to make things different for myself and nothing works. I feel unfulfilled professionally, and extremely lonely from my lack of friendships. Watching my best friend make different friends and support networks so easily makes me feel like I’m lacking. Because I don’t know why I’m not good enough to attract friends myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m tired of trying so hard to feel good when nothing works. This year will be my first birthday ever spent alone. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how to stop feeling bad about it. I see people all the time, happy, fulfilled, with multifaceted friendships and relationships. I feel so jealous. I crave someone who genuinely cares about me. I feel so confused, and lonely and sad. I feel like I can’t keep continuing like this because every time I get knocked down it hurts 10x more than the last. I know I’m not alone in this story. But waking up to a bleak existence doesn’t hurt any less. I really need something to live for. I wish I didn’t ruin relationships the way I have. Maybe that way I would actually have someone to message when I’m feeling low. I just wish that my old friends understood how sad I feel. When I’m in public, I feel claustrophobic and extremely insecure. And I find it hard meeting new people, prompting conversations etc. I just don’t know how to function like this

JJ281984 Hi in new here
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm new here. I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stu... View more

Hi I'm new here. I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stupid to go back and split for good in june 2020 , me n kids moved in our own place and loved living alone. my dog of 17 years passed and broke me hard . Met my current partner in 2021 my current situation is I find it hard to live with my partner my head feels like ii cant breathe when im around people all the time if too much going on I will outburst I have awful episodes my body shuts down no head cant breathe head hurts so much has alot of pressure I just lay there for days I can't function at all I'm weak my bones are weak um so depressed I shut the world out and don't talk to anyone it starts off with thoughts about my partner. I feel the same when living with my partner as with my ex I feel like im living back with my ex i feel isolated and so unhappy so depressed and that's what I was scared of happening again and it has but I feel great when I live alone happy as can be and I need my own safety place I need alot of space as my head always feels messed up alot the past year with My partner n living arrangements and I don't no what to do I also have fibromyalgia so I dont no if that has anything to do with mu on going episodes. Thank you for listening x

butterfly379 Guilt from divorce
  • replies: 4

Hi,New member here, feeling extreme guilt, loneliness and self-hate for ending my marriage. I won't state why I ended but more so feel terrible because of the impact it is having on our child. I feel selfish for putting what I wanted rather than the ... View more

Hi,New member here, feeling extreme guilt, loneliness and self-hate for ending my marriage. I won't state why I ended but more so feel terrible because of the impact it is having on our child. I feel selfish for putting what I wanted rather than the impact it would have on our child who has extra special needs and struggles with the transition between two places. All the anger I had against my ex has disappeared and I feel the opposite sad for him because his not coping with raising our child on his own; we have a shared care arrangement. I feel so guilty for breaking up our family and our child has no friends, siblings or cousins his age, the other night he stated he is very sad he doesn't have these things or a real family any more. I have moments of disbelief for what I did and feel lonely and isolated because I too struggle with friendships so I have no one to talk to and I have done and said things to my own family that upset them so not as close as what I thought it would be. I keep feeling like I want to go crawling back with my head between my knees very well knowing the marriage still wouldn't work but at least our child has a family again. I read alot of self-help books but I feel the content just isn't cutting it because I feel I don't deserve self-love, happiness etc when I never had gratitude for what I had, not thinking it through and destroying the solid foundation our child had.

Bee1998 Other girls make me feel threatened and insecure when i'm in a relationship
  • replies: 21

I have felt this way in every relationship I have had. The past two make sense, as I was cheated on by both partners, but I have been struggling with the same feelings in my current relationship. This has been the only healthy relationship I have had... View more

I have felt this way in every relationship I have had. The past two make sense, as I was cheated on by both partners, but I have been struggling with the same feelings in my current relationship. This has been the only healthy relationship I have had, and it frustrates me, because I'm with someone who I actually can trust for once in my life. It's not that I think my partner is cheating on me, it's smaller things that bother me, such as him wanting to have female friends, and being in an environment where girls are dressed provocatively and acting in a provocative manner. I don't know why these things bother me so much. I guess I am just scared of being abandoned, or that my partner will be sexually aroused by other females other than myself. I feel like I care about these things on a religious level (i'm not religious), but it seems to be the one and only thing that ever affects me while I'm in a relationship. I can't stand the thought of my partner dancing around girls in a club who are wearing next to nothing... The biggest concern for me is this one female friend he has, who he has been friends with since high school. She is the type of girl who would get satisfaction from stealing people's boyfriends. I know my partner wouldn't go there with her, but she does things that I feel are intentional, to get under my skin. For example, she was at my friend's memorial earlier this year. My partner was also there, as he went with me to support me. We ended up seeing his friend there, and this girl approached us to say hi to my partner, but completely disregarded my existence and didn't say hi to me. She gave my partner a hug and told him how much she missed him right in front of me. She later followed us over to the table we were sitting at and sat right beside my partner, so close that her entire body was up against his. (My partner and this girl were sitting opposite me). This made me really uncomfortable, and I was extremely angry because why wasn't my partner sitting next to me? He was there to support me after all, not for a high school reunion.... The whole time she was calling him pet names in front of me and not even talking to me or looking at me. Just continuously flirting with my boyfriend. My boyfriend went out with the same girl last night. She put up a story on instagram, which was a photo of herself in a skimpy crop top showing her cleavage and her nipples. I felt like she put that up to rub it in my face that she was with my boyfriend.