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Worried about husband

Loz83
Community Member

Hi all, I’ve been through a lot the last year as my history may show. I’ve (regrettably) recently started anti depressants for the first time in 18 years and they are def helping but now my husband is in such a bad headspace I feel like I’m back at square one. He has a major back injury which is only getting worse and is awaiting neurosurgery. I’ve lost count of the times we have been to ER this year and he is now at the point where he can’t even shower without collapsing in agony. We have four kids plus my own chronic endo/adeno issues (2nd surgery was 3 months ago) and little to no family support so I am doing everything rn as he can’t even drive. He was raised to be the strong silent type who hides his emotions and keeps putting on a brave face even though he can’t  sleep due to pain and has been crying and suicidal at 3 am on more than one occasion. To make things harder, we aren’t particularly well financed and living on one wage so every Drs visit is costing money we don’t have which makes things even harder as his wage has almost halved as he can’t work normally and I’m a SAHM. He won’t ask for help and is pushing away any and all help offered and I’m about to crack from the pressure. I just don’t know what to do anymore. The hospital today said he has been bumped up but it is still a three month wait at the best for his surgery. I’m scared to leave him alone as I don’t know what he will do. How are we supposed to get through months more of this?! 

2 Replies 2

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi Loz83

We’re really glad you could come to the forum to share this with our community. We know it isn’t easy to share something like this, but we think it’s a powerful step and we really appreciate your openness and bravery in sharing.

We're so sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing with your husband and his struggles with his physical and mental health state. It sounds very distressing and I can hear how much you just want to help him. We can also hear the impact this is having on your mental health state as well.

Loz83, whatever is on your mind, whatever is going on for you, it can make a real difference having someone to talk to. I’d like to invite you to please call us or jump onto a webchat for some counseling support at any time. I’ve put links to both below.

You can get in touch with us about whatever is troubling you, no matter how big or small the issue feels. Our trained mental health professionals will be able to listen and offer you care.

To call us, contact 1300 22 4636
To use webchat, Click Here 

We're available 24/7. All calls and chats are one-on-one with a trained mental health professional, free and completely confidential.

As well as being here for you, I would also love to suggest that you let your husband know we are here for him also. 

We also have a webpage dedicated to supporting someone who is experiencing depression , anxiety and/or even suicidal feelings, with links, articles and resources that may be helpful for you here (please also look at our Beyond Now suicide safety planning app here).  Kind regards,

Sophie M

Loz83
Community Member

Thank you so much for the reply Sophie. I’m trying to get him to some sort of mental support group but he is very resistant to the idea. I will keep trying however

much appreciated 

Loz x