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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lyssaa Insecure about lack of relationship experience
  • replies: 5

Hey guys,I'm an 18 year old girl who's just finished her first year out of high school. I've been feeling really insecure lately because of my lack of romantic and sexual experience. I dated one guy in high school when I was 14 for a few months and i... View more

Hey guys,I'm an 18 year old girl who's just finished her first year out of high school. I've been feeling really insecure lately because of my lack of romantic and sexual experience. I dated one guy in high school when I was 14 for a few months and it wasn't a very healthy relationship, and I recently had a situationship with a guy I liked that never ended up turning into anything. These are the only two guys I've ever kissed and I've never done anything more than that with a guy before. I know that if I wanted to have sex realistically I could (I was on Tinder for a short period of time and the offer was made to me by a few guys) but I know that I'm not someone who would be able to have sex with a complete stranger who didn't care about me, at least not the first time. After my first boyfriend in high school I wasn't interested in any of the guys at my school and didn't have many guy friends at all, and I had a pretty tight social circle so I didn't know any guys outside of school for me to be interested in. There were a few guys at school that possibly had crushes on me but they never did anything about it and I wasn't interested in any of them anyway. I guess I'm just feeling insecure because I feel like I've "missed out" on that experience of love and having someone truly love you. I also feel partially 'obliged' to participate in casual sex or hook-up culture instead of waiting for someone who truly loves me, mostly because I just can't see how I'm meant to meet someone who wants to be in a relationship with me anytime soon, partially because I feel like so many people have already had that first love experience and partially because I just genuinely don't know where I'm meant to meet someone. I don't want to hookup with someone just to get it over and done with, but I'm afraid that I'm never going to meet someone who loves me so I'll just be a virgin forever, and that if I do meet someone when I'm older they're just going to judge me for my lack of romantic and sexual experience. It just sucks knowing that some people are lucky enough to have already met someone, or multiple people, who care about them and love them, but that just happened to me yet. And I know I'm only 18, but I just feel so behind. Anyone have any advice or any consolation at all to help me feel like I haven't missed out? Thanks! Lyssa

Roger2839 Is this cheating
  • replies: 2

Hey. So I have been in a relationship for 5 years but for some reason tonight I thought I’d try and go to a brothel. Once I got there I stopped myself from doing anything and went straight home. Is this cheating? I feel guilty just for thinking about... View more

Hey. So I have been in a relationship for 5 years but for some reason tonight I thought I’d try and go to a brothel. Once I got there I stopped myself from doing anything and went straight home. Is this cheating? I feel guilty just for thinking about it. I know I’m my heart I’d never even consider that again.

Ej40 My left me and im really struggling.
  • replies: 3

7 days ago my wife left me and it has been really hard on me. My wife has a 8 year old from previous relationship and I class her as my daughter she called me dad and we have a great connection we only been married 12 months out of a 2 year relations... View more

7 days ago my wife left me and it has been really hard on me. My wife has a 8 year old from previous relationship and I class her as my daughter she called me dad and we have a great connection we only been married 12 months out of a 2 year relationship. Though it's hitting really hard im really not coping cry daily nights are worse I still live in the house and all her stuff is still here as well so lots of memories around me. My wife said I need to heal I have issues and she is also healing im currently speaking to a mental health person to help with my issues. I have bad anxiety issues which is not helping my current situation I really want to work on our marriage because this is my first marriage and I'm 40yrs old so I gave it my all and now I feel I failed our marriage and feel lonely lost hurt guilt I really love this woman and I have said I will do anything to work on our marriage but she won't try councillors she just says I have to heal and find myself again and I have no idea what this means.how do i stop thinking about her and help myself I'm very concerned for myself because just when I think im starting to get better I hit bottom again over and over the only contact I have with her is via email and I try to give her space but it's so very hard to not email constantly and i cant just stop caring loving the woman of my dreams I really don't know how to get through this how to be strong and push through the pain especially when I'm still in love with her.

car10001 needing someone to talk to (am ok however)
  • replies: 8

hi am needing someone to talk to but otherwise am ok. wondering how you would meet a girl and find some friends similar age. a friend and her partner dressed up to go somewhere for a weekend & thats one thing that made me think about how much am want... View more

hi am needing someone to talk to but otherwise am ok. wondering how you would meet a girl and find some friends similar age. a friend and her partner dressed up to go somewhere for a weekend & thats one thing that made me think about how much am wanting the girl and some friends. also as some of you may or may not know the sister is seeing someone and travels to adelaide once a week/fortnight to see the friend and its making me miss the trips to the adelaide hills that use to drive up alone and its reminding you that you have no one and how much you want things to change. am wanting a girl to hang around with now and then and some friends and be able to drive to more places and do small road trips and wondering how do you find a friend and some friends. the cousins have now got own families and now really only go up with someone for functions and miss travelling alone which is reason for wanting friends to go see and a girl and other friends. the uncle got sick and car that had at time came up to that time as a daily where it started having lots problems and now that have got a different one am wanting to do it and have no one else. how do you get someone to introduce you to people. plus dont live alone to have the independence that the cousins who have own houses do. how do you get the independence they have with their own houses but while still living where you are until you can get your own house which some (myself included) are waiting until they can buy their own place. how does someone on low income or pension afford to buy their own place and/or cover living costs as it seems there is only enough income from that alone to cover living or having a life and if you were to have your own house which renting is only option and want to wait until am able to afford to buy theres not much left to have a life and save by time you cover all your bills. what can be done about the friends bit until youre able to have a job that works closer to office hours with maybe a very occasional saturday or something. am at that stage in work life and just trying to do the best until place of work sells. have accepted its time for everyone to move on as sad as it is thanks

Jellybean2005 Bit lost with teenage daughter
  • replies: 2

Single.mum with 17yr old daughter who has increasingly been so spiteful verbally with rudeness,ungrateful statements, speaks to me with such venom and nastiness about the most tiniest things. High achiever and switched on but the verbal assaults are ... View more

Single.mum with 17yr old daughter who has increasingly been so spiteful verbally with rudeness,ungrateful statements, speaks to me with such venom and nastiness about the most tiniest things. High achiever and switched on but the verbal assaults are increasing and lack of empathy has left me lost. Did i bring her up to be too strong and confident? Recently halted our holiday by leaving early morning,no notice, gets on a plane and back to Sydney.I wake to find my daughter gone. Im horrified. She is safe and goes home but still.has no acknowledgement for her inexcusable actions.

LittleJules Single Parent and no friends
  • replies: 7

I'm a single mother to a 7 year old. I have no friends and I'm lonely all the time. I work full-time and weekends/holidays can be lonely. I joined a social engagement site, but they tend to meet up in the city which is an hour drive from me. I have a... View more

I'm a single mother to a 7 year old. I have no friends and I'm lonely all the time. I work full-time and weekends/holidays can be lonely. I joined a social engagement site, but they tend to meet up in the city which is an hour drive from me. I have asked for closer meetups but I don't get a response. Anyone want to chat?

Rogger What is a romantic relationship?
  • replies: 4

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than... View more

Ok, I know this sounds like a stupid question, let me elaborate. In both my personal experiences and media that I've consumed, romantic relations are something to be, for lack of a better term, romanticised. They are held in a much higher regard than mere friendships or even family relations in some situations, with people describing them as their "other half". However, this made me curious, I understand that marriage is a bit different, but at least in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, I personally struggle to understand how this is fundamentally different from a friendship. I understand that in mostly physical relationships, partners might be little more than acquaintances, but in a romantic relationship, wouldn't your boyfriend/girlfriend be essentially just a friend who you are attracted to, and who is also attracted to?

Farmers_wife Second place to the farm
  • replies: 4

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat ... View more

Since we got married (many years ago) it's always felt like hubby puts the farm first in every way shape n form & to be honest I'm absolutely over it & fed up. Our bedroom has no insulation & a termite hole in the wall plus we have about $3k of flat pack robes still in boxes from about 4 years ago, hubby won't fix bedroom until new cattle yards are built. Bathroom is revolting with paint peeling off the uneven walls but can't get any tradies here for at least 12mths so hubby says book one in & when the time comes we'll see if we can afford it. Our dream home came up for sale in 2022 but we were 60k short because we bought a baler on finance on accountant advice. I fear we're stuck in a very old house that needs a lot of work for the rest of our lives. I'm absolutely fed up with feeling like me & the house are second fiddle to the farm. Every time I bring it up we end in an argument & there's no one nearby I can talk with coz it'll get back to hubby & cause more arguing. I'm even questioning whether I should be leaving him & making a new life for myself. Doesn't help we never get a break unless it's shopping or medical related

CH14 Lonely & confused
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m a young woman (mid-20’s) who’s struggling with feeling insecure, unmotivated, sad and lonely. I know how it feels to be low. Recently, my best friend got a new best friend, and it’s left me feeling extremely isolated. My boyfriend has also di... View more

Hi, I’m a young woman (mid-20’s) who’s struggling with feeling insecure, unmotivated, sad and lonely. I know how it feels to be low. Recently, my best friend got a new best friend, and it’s left me feeling extremely isolated. My boyfriend has also distanced from me. I find it hard to vocalise how I feel. I feel a lot of sadness and pain and anger, but I also feel nothing. I hate who I am as a person - how I look, how I feel, my lifestyle. I try so hard to make things different for myself and nothing works. I feel unfulfilled professionally, and extremely lonely from my lack of friendships. Watching my best friend make different friends and support networks so easily makes me feel like I’m lacking. Because I don’t know why I’m not good enough to attract friends myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’m tired of trying so hard to feel good when nothing works. This year will be my first birthday ever spent alone. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how to stop feeling bad about it. I see people all the time, happy, fulfilled, with multifaceted friendships and relationships. I feel so jealous. I crave someone who genuinely cares about me. I feel so confused, and lonely and sad. I feel like I can’t keep continuing like this because every time I get knocked down it hurts 10x more than the last. I know I’m not alone in this story. But waking up to a bleak existence doesn’t hurt any less. I really need something to live for. I wish I didn’t ruin relationships the way I have. Maybe that way I would actually have someone to message when I’m feeling low. I just wish that my old friends understood how sad I feel. When I’m in public, I feel claustrophobic and extremely insecure. And I find it hard meeting new people, prompting conversations etc. I just don’t know how to function like this

JJ281984 Hi in new here
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm new here. I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stu... View more

Hi I'm new here. I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stupid to go back and split for good in june 2020 , me n kids moved in our own place and loved living alone. my dog of 17 years passed and broke me hard . Met my current partner in 2021 my current situation is I find it hard to live with my partner my head feels like ii cant breathe when im around people all the time if too much going on I will outburst I have awful episodes my body shuts down no head cant breathe head hurts so much has alot of pressure I just lay there for days I can't function at all I'm weak my bones are weak um so depressed I shut the world out and don't talk to anyone it starts off with thoughts about my partner. I feel the same when living with my partner as with my ex I feel like im living back with my ex i feel isolated and so unhappy so depressed and that's what I was scared of happening again and it has but I feel great when I live alone happy as can be and I need my own safety place I need alot of space as my head always feels messed up alot the past year with My partner n living arrangements and I don't no what to do I also have fibromyalgia so I dont no if that has anything to do with mu on going episodes. Thank you for listening x