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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Lyssaa Relationship Difficulties
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly six months. We're both nineteen, full-time uni students doing pretty full-on degrees, and on top of that we both work casual/part-time jobs. Things are pretty good between us, we hardly ar... View more

Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly six months. We're both nineteen, full-time uni students doing pretty full-on degrees, and on top of that we both work casual/part-time jobs. Things are pretty good between us, we hardly argue and the time we spend together is relaxing and enjoyable, but there are a few things about our relationship which bother me slightly that are out of control. Him and I live an hour drive apart with no traffic, on top of us both being busy, so as a result we don't see each other as often as we'd both like. We see each other at uni on Thursdays and Fridays, and on Wednesdays he drives down to spend 6-7 hours with me at my house. However, he has strict parents, which means he can't sleepover at mine, and I can't stay the night at his. I've met his parents once, and they both like me, but whenever he comes over to mine he has to change his location on his phone, because he knows they'll be like "oh, why are you always at her house, you'll bother her family" and if he tells them that my family isn't home, they'll be like "oh... why are you over then?" (strict Christian parents). It sucks because I see my friends with their boyfriends nearly every day because they live so much closer together, and they're involved in each other's families. On top of all that, he'll probably have to do FIFO work or work elsewhere at some point in the future because he's studying mechanical engineering and is looking into internships. I love him, I really do, but it's hard sometimes because we're both so busy, and there's the distance plus his parents on top of that. Does anyone in a similar situation have any advice as to how they manage to navigate this and how they keep themselves sane??

Alel Athiest living in religious household
  • replies: 5

I lost my religion around last year and my family don't know. I live in a dysfunctional household and have a really odd relationship with them. My parents were physically abusive when I was younger but stopped around 13. My dad is like a ticking time... View more

I lost my religion around last year and my family don't know. I live in a dysfunctional household and have a really odd relationship with them. My parents were physically abusive when I was younger but stopped around 13. My dad is like a ticking time bomb with his anger and is constantly yelling. My mum can be emotionally manipulative. Both are verbally abusive to eachother and my siblings mostly. I don't know why they don't come at me as much as my siblings, but I do feel shitty about it, so I try to fight for them as much as I can. My older sister is controlling, but for the most part she's nice. My older bother is misogynistic, homophobic, and abusive at times, but my whole family knows it's due to him dealing with alot (especially since my dad never leaves him alone). I do admit that there were times where I fought (not physically) against him because I just hated how shitty he is. But for the most part, he leaves me alone and I leave him alone, but I try to fight for him against my parents if I can. My younger brother is sometimes just mean (but then again his 17 so) and likes to take people's things or hit them with pillows whenever we joke. It's not that much of a big deal until he keeps doing it over and over when we have basic conversation. But for the most part, his fun and helps my mum around. When I was younger, I was just always angry and at times threw things. I stopped and don't like to get physical now, but I still have a long way to go with accepting my past. I don't want to be too distant from them, but I do want to have some distance so that I can have my own life. I feel like I'm lying to them when they ask me why I can't pray. Right now they know I'm dealing with severe anxiety and depression, so they are laying off, but they keep bringing up prayer, saying it helps to talk to God. I spent around 2 years in the past going real hard about religion and yet, I was still depressed and anxious. And I know God isn't meant to fix that, but I just realised after some research and time, I just can't find a connection. It is hard to live without believing in something (that's how my anxiety and depression got severe) and I don't know what to do. Should I go back and just pretend?

S_A_B My wife wants a break
  • replies: 3

I have been with my wife for 24yrs. She was 16 and myself 19. We have now been married for nearly 14yrs. We have 3 gorgeous children and a beautiful home. She is the love of my life. I still look at her like I first did. Somewhere over the journey we... View more

I have been with my wife for 24yrs. She was 16 and myself 19. We have now been married for nearly 14yrs. We have 3 gorgeous children and a beautiful home. She is the love of my life. I still look at her like I first did. Somewhere over the journey we have had up’s and downs more so in the last 5 years. Add a few other events for my wife and she has developed depression like symptoms. She is seeking help which is great and we are talking fine, but she wants a break because she is so unhappy. She needs to work on herself before she can figure out if she wants our marriage or not. She isn’t wanting a divorce, but we are going to separate and I don’t know for how long. It hurts so much because I adore her. I need to make some changes to show her I am still the man she needs and I want to be. Stressful busy lives can interfere with showing your wife how much she means to you. I feel I’ve left it too late? I don’t know how to help or how I can win my wife back?

Chillwind Property settlement for a 6 year marriage
  • replies: 3

I was in a 6 and a bit year marriage, we had no kids, she made no contributions to the marriage, I never had any joint bank accounts or assetts with her, I supported her adult daughter through University.In 2018 I decided to take money from my super ... View more

I was in a 6 and a bit year marriage, we had no kids, she made no contributions to the marriage, I never had any joint bank accounts or assetts with her, I supported her adult daughter through University.In 2018 I decided to take money from my super and buy an apartment to use as a rental, I was going to put the apartment into a Trust company, The wife found out and went to the family court had my accounts frozen ex-parte, At the hearing the magistrate said I could still buy the apartment in my own name and the ex-wife and her adult daughter could move in there. The court said the decision for her to pay rent would be made at the next hearing but no decision was made. now 5 years later I am informed that a trial date for next April has been set, These last few weeks have been very difficult for me, the anger is building up I worry I will lose control.

new2this I want to see my son
  • replies: 5

I have an estranged 17 year old. His father is extremely wealthy. 4 years ago my 13yr old & I had an argument. I said no I couldn’t drive him to his girlfriend house. We live rural & no public transport. He called his dad & he picked him up that day.... View more

I have an estranged 17 year old. His father is extremely wealthy. 4 years ago my 13yr old & I had an argument. I said no I couldn’t drive him to his girlfriend house. We live rural & no public transport. He called his dad & he picked him up that day. I had been in a head on car accident & had PTSD. Obviously I was difficult to live with. Last year I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. My son still doesn’t want to see me. I’m frightened I will die & not see my son. This WILL affect him for the rest of his life. I constantly cry but I am always jovial in front of others. My heart is broken, smashed to prices. I want my son to have a good life. I’ve failed at everything. Help please

Mickie_dee Alone
  • replies: 1

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in cro... View more

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in crowd. Had partners but never good enough for them to want to marry me, gave up my self for them. Became a people pleaser only to be walked all over constantly by people. My family have treated me with little respect so I have stopped communication with them for almost an year. The name calling, constant drama, told I shouldn’t do this or do that. Over it. I have peace now but am alone. Have no one. Feel like if I died tommorrow no one would care or notice. Really have no friends anymore.

Baileysmells Dating in your 20's sucks, how can an introvert meet someone without dating apps?
  • replies: 2

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to mov... View more

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to move away from the Gold Coast in 2021, leaving behind a great relationship in the process and now live in a much smaller place comparatively. This made me fall into a deep depression and I subsequently fell out of touch of all my friends. To put a cherry on top of everything, my matches on dating apps have completely died out and the dates I do go on don't turn into anything and usually lead to me getting ghosted. This is sending me into a spiral not knowing what is going wrong. Be it the location/culture, my medication changing me as a person or my mental health getting in the way- now that I think of it I do seek out a certain type in emo girls, could be a factor lmao. I'm honestly about done with dating apps but what is a hardcore introvert like myself supposed to do to meet people irl? Do you have any tips for navigating dating in your 20's and dealing with being ghosted every month? I just want a serious relationship. This is a much smaller place compared to where I used to live and not a whole lot is going on, I don't have my P's and its so car dependent as well. I'm stumped. This loneliness is really starting to get to me. I realized recently that connection is really the only thing I value in life, I used to love being alone but since I've started dating I feel empty without it. Any advice or words are appreciated thanks for taking the time to hear me out

lr0054 boyfriend doesn't express emotions
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I are living together. Have done so for almost 4 years. He is a doctor. I've always looked up to him. However, he is quite reserved and feels that he cannot share his difficulties with anyone, particularly with expressing his emotion... View more

My boyfriend and I are living together. Have done so for almost 4 years. He is a doctor. I've always looked up to him. However, he is quite reserved and feels that he cannot share his difficulties with anyone, particularly with expressing his emotions and be honest. He states he is fearful of what other people think of him i.e. like he is boring. He recogniseses this is something he has struggled with for a long time and wants to change. I honsetly think this is a load of rubbish and he is interesting and fun despite telling him that he struggles to beleive this. The problem for me is that I am still living with him and feel like with this attitude, he doesn't add much value to my life- doesn't make me exicted etc. We are very different because I am very outgoing and feel confident in who I am and love to share my experiences. I have stayed with him because I thought he would change and become more open. I feel mixed feelings about continuing the relationship as I feel like he is getting more from the relationship than I am. I feel like he doesn't really have a bubbly, fun and enjoyable personality that I have and want with someone. I am on the lease with him and not sure how I can break up as I have thought about this a lot over the years. Any support would be appreciated.

bagelsbee Stuck in a bad relationship but not ready to leave
  • replies: 6

I feel like I’ve been spiralling lately. My relationship with my partner has had highs and lows, and this time last year I was seeing a psych about it. She suggested I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think she was right, but I’m stil... View more

I feel like I’ve been spiralling lately. My relationship with my partner has had highs and lows, and this time last year I was seeing a psych about it. She suggested I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think she was right, but I’m still in it. He keeps calling me crazy after I’ve told him how it hurts me. And he doesn’t seem to consider my feelings in his actions. Somehow when he does something hurtful I end up at fault and apologising. But I can’t bring myself to leave him. I cry every day. I just want to get back to who I was before him. I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about any of this because I don’t want them to think less of me. I just feel so tired and alone and angry and hurt.

astridmoon My family don’t talk to each other
  • replies: 3

My Mum bought my stepdads ashes home and did not tell me. I got upset as not telling me important things had been a regular occurrence I’ve raised in the past. Since getting upset about the ashes she has refused to speak to me. She didn’t apologize. ... View more

My Mum bought my stepdads ashes home and did not tell me. I got upset as not telling me important things had been a regular occurrence I’ve raised in the past. Since getting upset about the ashes she has refused to speak to me. She didn’t apologize. I sent gifts as I was traveling overseas and got no thank you. This was also shortly after I got engaged. My twin brother who is close with my Mum said he is jealous of my engagement, even tho he has just bought a house and been with his gf for years. Maybe my mother is too? It has been months since anyone has talked to me so I moved back overseas away from my family as I only moved back initially to be close to them. My family do not know as they have not reached out. I have been on my own with only my fiancé. I also recently found out my grandfather passed away in August. He remarried and his family refused to let him stay in contact with us. They also did not tell his first family.I feel sad that I was born into a family that treat each other this way. What is the point of having a family if this is how lonely it feels.