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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Chillwind Property settlement for a 6 year marriage
  • replies: 3

I was in a 6 and a bit year marriage, we had no kids, she made no contributions to the marriage, I never had any joint bank accounts or assetts with her, I supported her adult daughter through University.In 2018 I decided to take money from my super ... View more

I was in a 6 and a bit year marriage, we had no kids, she made no contributions to the marriage, I never had any joint bank accounts or assetts with her, I supported her adult daughter through University.In 2018 I decided to take money from my super and buy an apartment to use as a rental, I was going to put the apartment into a Trust company, The wife found out and went to the family court had my accounts frozen ex-parte, At the hearing the magistrate said I could still buy the apartment in my own name and the ex-wife and her adult daughter could move in there. The court said the decision for her to pay rent would be made at the next hearing but no decision was made. now 5 years later I am informed that a trial date for next April has been set, These last few weeks have been very difficult for me, the anger is building up I worry I will lose control.

new2this I want to see my son
  • replies: 5

I have an estranged 17 year old. His father is extremely wealthy. 4 years ago my 13yr old & I had an argument. I said no I couldn’t drive him to his girlfriend house. We live rural & no public transport. He called his dad & he picked him up that day.... View more

I have an estranged 17 year old. His father is extremely wealthy. 4 years ago my 13yr old & I had an argument. I said no I couldn’t drive him to his girlfriend house. We live rural & no public transport. He called his dad & he picked him up that day. I had been in a head on car accident & had PTSD. Obviously I was difficult to live with. Last year I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. My son still doesn’t want to see me. I’m frightened I will die & not see my son. This WILL affect him for the rest of his life. I constantly cry but I am always jovial in front of others. My heart is broken, smashed to prices. I want my son to have a good life. I’ve failed at everything. Help please

Mickie_dee Alone
  • replies: 1

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in cro... View more

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in crowd. Had partners but never good enough for them to want to marry me, gave up my self for them. Became a people pleaser only to be walked all over constantly by people. My family have treated me with little respect so I have stopped communication with them for almost an year. The name calling, constant drama, told I shouldn’t do this or do that. Over it. I have peace now but am alone. Have no one. Feel like if I died tommorrow no one would care or notice. Really have no friends anymore.

Baileysmells Dating in your 20's sucks, how can an introvert meet someone without dating apps?
  • replies: 2

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to mov... View more

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to move away from the Gold Coast in 2021, leaving behind a great relationship in the process and now live in a much smaller place comparatively. This made me fall into a deep depression and I subsequently fell out of touch of all my friends. To put a cherry on top of everything, my matches on dating apps have completely died out and the dates I do go on don't turn into anything and usually lead to me getting ghosted. This is sending me into a spiral not knowing what is going wrong. Be it the location/culture, my medication changing me as a person or my mental health getting in the way- now that I think of it I do seek out a certain type in emo girls, could be a factor lmao. I'm honestly about done with dating apps but what is a hardcore introvert like myself supposed to do to meet people irl? Do you have any tips for navigating dating in your 20's and dealing with being ghosted every month? I just want a serious relationship. This is a much smaller place compared to where I used to live and not a whole lot is going on, I don't have my P's and its so car dependent as well. I'm stumped. This loneliness is really starting to get to me. I realized recently that connection is really the only thing I value in life, I used to love being alone but since I've started dating I feel empty without it. Any advice or words are appreciated thanks for taking the time to hear me out

lr0054 boyfriend doesn't express emotions
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I are living together. Have done so for almost 4 years. He is a doctor. I've always looked up to him. However, he is quite reserved and feels that he cannot share his difficulties with anyone, particularly with expressing his emotion... View more

My boyfriend and I are living together. Have done so for almost 4 years. He is a doctor. I've always looked up to him. However, he is quite reserved and feels that he cannot share his difficulties with anyone, particularly with expressing his emotions and be honest. He states he is fearful of what other people think of him i.e. like he is boring. He recogniseses this is something he has struggled with for a long time and wants to change. I honsetly think this is a load of rubbish and he is interesting and fun despite telling him that he struggles to beleive this. The problem for me is that I am still living with him and feel like with this attitude, he doesn't add much value to my life- doesn't make me exicted etc. We are very different because I am very outgoing and feel confident in who I am and love to share my experiences. I have stayed with him because I thought he would change and become more open. I feel mixed feelings about continuing the relationship as I feel like he is getting more from the relationship than I am. I feel like he doesn't really have a bubbly, fun and enjoyable personality that I have and want with someone. I am on the lease with him and not sure how I can break up as I have thought about this a lot over the years. Any support would be appreciated.

bagelsbee Stuck in a bad relationship but not ready to leave
  • replies: 6

I feel like I’ve been spiralling lately. My relationship with my partner has had highs and lows, and this time last year I was seeing a psych about it. She suggested I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think she was right, but I’m stil... View more

I feel like I’ve been spiralling lately. My relationship with my partner has had highs and lows, and this time last year I was seeing a psych about it. She suggested I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think she was right, but I’m still in it. He keeps calling me crazy after I’ve told him how it hurts me. And he doesn’t seem to consider my feelings in his actions. Somehow when he does something hurtful I end up at fault and apologising. But I can’t bring myself to leave him. I cry every day. I just want to get back to who I was before him. I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about any of this because I don’t want them to think less of me. I just feel so tired and alone and angry and hurt.

astridmoon My family don’t talk to each other
  • replies: 3

My Mum bought my stepdads ashes home and did not tell me. I got upset as not telling me important things had been a regular occurrence I’ve raised in the past. Since getting upset about the ashes she has refused to speak to me. She didn’t apologize. ... View more

My Mum bought my stepdads ashes home and did not tell me. I got upset as not telling me important things had been a regular occurrence I’ve raised in the past. Since getting upset about the ashes she has refused to speak to me. She didn’t apologize. I sent gifts as I was traveling overseas and got no thank you. This was also shortly after I got engaged. My twin brother who is close with my Mum said he is jealous of my engagement, even tho he has just bought a house and been with his gf for years. Maybe my mother is too? It has been months since anyone has talked to me so I moved back overseas away from my family as I only moved back initially to be close to them. My family do not know as they have not reached out. I have been on my own with only my fiancé. I also recently found out my grandfather passed away in August. He remarried and his family refused to let him stay in contact with us. They also did not tell his first family.I feel sad that I was born into a family that treat each other this way. What is the point of having a family if this is how lonely it feels.

CMF Lonely nights
  • replies: 27

Hi there,Anyone in a relationship but still feel lonely? I love time to myself but I find my self struggling lately when my partner goes home Sunday arvo & I'm sitting here on my own. I'm on my own every night when my little miss goes to bed. My part... View more

Hi there,Anyone in a relationship but still feel lonely? I love time to myself but I find my self struggling lately when my partner goes home Sunday arvo & I'm sitting here on my own. I'm on my own every night when my little miss goes to bed. My partner calls, we chat & that's fine but Sunday nights are getting hard. Maybe cos it's school holidays & little miss is at her dads? I look forward to going to work Monday so I can forget about it. The weekday routine is tiring but good. Maybe I'm not enjoying my weekends with my partner so I feel lonely in general & when he's gone it's amplified.Anyone feel the same?Cmf

han111 How to overcome a fear of intimacy?
  • replies: 1

I’m 20F, and I’ve never been in a relationship before, almost solely because I have such an intense fear of physical intimacy. In my head, I think it’d be nice to have a partner and I occasionally like people (maybe twice ever), but whenever it becom... View more

I’m 20F, and I’ve never been in a relationship before, almost solely because I have such an intense fear of physical intimacy. In my head, I think it’d be nice to have a partner and I occasionally like people (maybe twice ever), but whenever it becomes anywhere close to a reality I panic and back out and often cut off the person involved. I’ve been asked out, or any basic act of intimacy suggested, and I completely panic and find any possible way out of the situation every time. I do have diagnosed anxiety, which could be related, but it seems so much deeper than that, and it’s really just related to the physicality aspect more than anything else. I thought it might just be because I’ve had very little experience, but I’ve asked a lot of friends and they all said they weren’t scared before their first times, they were thrilled. I don’t understand why I’m like this, and it’s ruining not only the potential for romantic relationships but it gets in the way of platonic relationships too. I hate that I’d be happy to live alone, even if I’d be cripplingly lonely, and I don’t understand where it comes from. I wasn’t abused as a child, I’ve not had any toxic partners. I struggled to put how it feels into words, but I hope someone can understand and could help me be more normal about it all.

Cottonsocks Past relationship patterns?
  • replies: 1

I have had a failed past relationship of 17years whom I had 2 children with.It was and is still a very bitter break up. Both children have been turned against me by their father so that is hurtful. My relationship now is with a man who tries hard but... View more

I have had a failed past relationship of 17years whom I had 2 children with.It was and is still a very bitter break up. Both children have been turned against me by their father so that is hurtful. My relationship now is with a man who tries hard but doesn't know how to give emotional support or pick up emotional cues. I have to spell everything out and am beginning to resent that I just can't be me. He is very different to me and although when we are good we are great but when we fight I feel resentment build and I have had enough of compromise. I know relationships are hard work and I do compromise yet I am so aware of past patterns occuring that I get angry and resent my partner and look at all the negatives. My past partnership was full of resentment . I was always under pressure to have everything just right in every aspect of my life. I did everything around the house, raised the kids,worked and studied. I was never valued or appreciated and never an equal or a partner.How do I stop these feelings of pressure and resentment creeping in when I don't feel my present partner is consciously trying to put pressure on me. When we fight I just get so scared of another failed relationship that I push back due to fear,anxiety and resentment and I don't know how to change the way I react. Sometimes I feel life would be easier on my own.